Morality Question

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I have a friend who is the only child of a unmarried relationship (long since ended). and now her mother is finally getting married, but is too old to give birth. The daughter is donating her eggs to the mother so that the mother can have a child.

Is this morally sound?
 
katholikos12 said:
I have a friend who is the only child of a unmarried relationship (long since ended). and now her mother is finally getting married, but is too old to give birth. The daughter is donating her eggs to the mother so that the mother can have a child.

Is this morally sound?
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No, of course not. In-vitro procedures are prohibited. Your friend is complicit in this grave sin by providing eggs.
 
well poo. This makes me sad. She just wants her mother to be able to have another kid 😦
 
Why is this grave matter? They are trying to make life? Is that not the primary purpose of the sexual union between man and woman?

Forgive my theological naivete. But there are some things I am struggling to understand.

Or is the sexual union and procreative nature of sex like two sides of a scissors: you need both for it to work?

If that is the case then why is it so?
 
I’m sure her intentions are good, but life is a gift that is granted by God through the marital embrace exclusively. Through science, we can corrupt this gift by creating life outside of the womb, but it defies natural law and God’s law.

On top of that, with in-vitro, embryos are often created and unused. Those are human beings being “stored” in suspended animaltion, waiting to die or be discarded.

God did not intend for daughters to manipulate their bodies and use their DNA to make babies in petri dishes with their stepdads sperm so that their mothers could have babies after menopause.

Your friend may not understand that what she is doing is gravely wrong. Which is why you should tell her. Suggest an adoption 🙂
 
Thank you for your help.

I will tell her that that Church does not approve of such an action and recommend she speak with a priest.

Still sad. But Glad I asked.
 
CCC

2375 Research aimed at reducing human sterility is to be encouraged, on condition that it is placed "at the service of the human person, of his inalienable rights, and his true and integral good according to the design and will of God."165

2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child’s right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses’ "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."166

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. the act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children."167 "Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses’ union … Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."168

2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. the “supreme gift of marriage” is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right “to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents,” and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."169

2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord’s Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

The document referenced in this section: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19870222_respect-for-human-life_en.html
 
katholikos12 said:
I have a friend who is the only child of a unmarried relationship (long since ended). and now her mother is finally getting married, but is too old to give birth. The daughter is donating her eggs to the mother so that the mother can have a child.

Is this morally sound?
Click to expand...
No! The eggs and baby will be biologically the daughters,

It would mean the mum giving birth to her biological grandkids, its too messed up
 
katholikos12 said:
Thank you for your help.

I will tell her that that Church does not approve of such an action and recommend she speak with a priest.

Still sad. But Glad I asked.
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If they are gonna do it anyway then suggest instead of the eggs and resulting ivf that the mum adopts an embryo, the church hasnt forbidden that and they would be saving a baby from being discarded to die
 
crystal_waters said:
No! The eggs and baby will be biologically the daughters,

It would mean the mum giving birth to her biological grandkids, its too messed up
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That’s exactly what I was thinking. Beyond church teaching, how would the kid feel when she found out that her “aunt” was her mother and her “mother” was her grandmother.

It reminds me of some neighbors we had where her son and his boyfriend wanted a baby. His sister offered to be egg donar/surrogate (their phrasing) and to be inseminated with his boyfriend’s sperm. Our neighbor gushed about how loving it was for her daughter to be carrying her gay son’s baby. All I could think when the baby was born was how you explain one of your dads is your dad, but your other daddy is your uncle and your aunt is your mom. :eek:
 
katholikos12 said:
Why is this grave matter? They are trying to make life? Is that not the primary purpose of the sexual union between man and woman?

Forgive my theological naivete. But there are some things I am struggling to understand.

Or is the sexual union and procreative nature of sex like two sides of a scissors: you need both for it to work?

If that is the case then why is it so?
Click to expand...
You cannot morally seperate sexual union and procreation. In vitro and related techniques are the other side of the contraception coin. Contraception’s goal is sex without children. In vitro’s goal is children without sex. Both distort the natural linkage of sexual congress and procreation for selfish purposes. Each puts a selfish desire above the designs of God.
 
Usige said:
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Beyond church teaching, how would the kid feel when she found out that her “aunt” was her mother and her “mother” was her grandmother.

It reminds me of some neighbors we had where her son and his boyfriend wanted a baby. His sister offered to be egg donar/surrogate (their phrasing) and to be inseminated with his boyfriend’s sperm. Our neighbor gushed about how loving it was for her daughter to be carrying her gay son’s baby. All I could think when the baby was born was how you explain one of your dads is your dad, but your other daddy is your uncle and your aunt is your mom. :eek:
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Oh my goodness!!
 
Too messed up. And what about legal parents and custody of children? It’s a big mess. Poor kid.

If the daughter is old enough to donate eggs, then the mother is past childbearing age. It’s time for her to move past that phase of her life. If she really wants another kid, she should adopt an older child or take in a foster kid. Or volunteer as a baby-sitter or work at a preschool.

Babies take a lot of energy and this is obviously a middle-aged or older woman. There is a reason why women go through menopause at a certain age. Not that they cannot be good grandparents or take in kids if there is a special need (maybe their child dies, or a close friend passes away who asked them to raise the kids if something happened to them). But in general the child-bearing phase is over and it’s time to enter the next season of life. The kids are grown so now they can do what they want, travel, save for retirement, etc.

There are benefits to every stage of life and it seems like people often want to be somewhere they’re not. Kids want to grow up so they can do what they want and not have to live by their parents’ rules. Adults want to be able to retire and travel. And now older people are wanting babies. 🙂 People need to enjoy the stage of life they’re in and appreciate the children they do have if they cannot have more. And there is always adoption or foster care (no upper age limit in the foster care ads I saw).
 
Praise report!

She went and spoke to a priest about it at my behest, and she feels completely at peace (last night she was crying) about the why the Church says no on this matter.

The beauty of the Church in everyday life 🙂
 
katholikos12 said:
Praise report!

She went and spoke to a priest about it at my behest, and she feels completely at peace (last night she was crying) about the why the Church says no on this matter.

The beauty of the Church in everyday life 🙂
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👍:yup::clapping:

I’m so glad she was open to hearing what our Church teaches on this matter. Some people would be stubborn enough to say, “Well I don’t care what the Church says, I’m gonna do it anyway!” and they would. And there is a lot of ignorance about what the Church teaches in the first place.

It’s as if nothing is ever off the table now. If you didn’t have kids when you were younger, you can have them when you’re 40, 50, maybe even 60! The opportunity is never lost! 😦 Grow up and let go of your past, and don’t try to start all over again at 40, 50, or 60 - it’s not gonna happen.
 
They can always adopt. I know an older couple who adopted a brother and sister (ages 8 & 10). The biological-parents were abusive and in jail and gave up rights to the children. This couple saved the children from a life of foster care and kept them together and now they have a family. Since they are in their 50’s adopting older children gave them the ability to still work and get to enjoy some of the things that would be a bit more difficult if they had adopted a baby. The kids are now well adjusted and the couple said it was the best thing they ever did in their life.
 
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