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Waiting
Guest
Thank you. I always try to remember in my trials that “This, too, will pass.”
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Waiting
Guest
Thank you. God bless.
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SwizzleStick
Guest
I receive a daily meditation via e-mail from the Henri Nouwen Society. Here in blue is today’s reflection, timely and relevant to this discussion.
Wednesday January 30, 2013
Choosing Joy
Joy is what makes life worth living, but for many joy seems hard to find. They complain that their lives are sorrowful and depressing. What then brings the joy we so much desire? Are some people just lucky, while others have run out of luck? Strange as it may sound, we can choose joy. Two people can be part of the same event, but one may choose to live it quite differently than the other. One may choose to trust that what happened, painful as it may be, holds a promise. The other may choose despair and be destroyed by it.
What makes us human is precisely this freedom of choice.
Source link: wp.henrinouwen.org/daily_meditation_blog/?p=1865
Wednesday January 30, 2013
Choosing Joy
Joy is what makes life worth living, but for many joy seems hard to find. They complain that their lives are sorrowful and depressing. What then brings the joy we so much desire? Are some people just lucky, while others have run out of luck? Strange as it may sound, we can choose joy. Two people can be part of the same event, but one may choose to live it quite differently than the other. One may choose to trust that what happened, painful as it may be, holds a promise. The other may choose despair and be destroyed by it.
What makes us human is precisely this freedom of choice.
Source link: wp.henrinouwen.org/daily_meditation_blog/?p=1865
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gmarie21
Guest
Thank you for sharing, this is great!
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gmarie21
Guest
No they are not contradictory. Jesus was joyful yet was “sad” when his friend Lazurus had died. Did Jesus’ state of joyfulness change because of this? No. There are many who are joyful and when their spouse dies, while they are sad, they praise God for the fact they were able to share their life with this person, and they say this with a smile and a sense of peace that many are lacking. I know that many struggle with this, I use to also, but then I decided that I would make the choice to thank God for all things because they are all blessings even when disguised as horrible atrocities. In every trial there is the cross and multiple paths to choose. You can sit their and complain about the cross, choose to walk away (some do this by turning to drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc.), or you can pick up the cross, say to God “I don’t like this but I trust that I must take this cross for a reason”. If you choose taking the cross and focus on God you will be on the road to a joyful perspective toward life and Christ-like love towards all. However, at any time you can choose to leave this path but remember the peace and joy stands a greater chance of leaving you too should you do this.
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SwizzleStick
Guest
You are welcome! I very much like the daily reflections and the timing of this one was perfect! I also like the thought very much too.
I’m sorry that I don’t have a lot of time right now, so I don’t know how well I will do in conveying further thought, but I’ll give it a whirl.
During the Mass on January 1, Fr. shared the idea of a Joy Jar during his homily. He said that we all had received a gift, the gift of a new year. Some of us will still be here at the end of the year, some will not, but as of January 1, each of us had received a gift from God, a gift of time. He said we could use that gift to count our blessings and sorrows, but to cherish life all along the way. He said that a way to find happiness in small ways in each of our lives was to write down the joys that we find in our days. He said we could also write down challenges during our days. Then, at the end of the year, we go back through and remember the small joys of daily life that we had experienced at the end of the year. Hopefully, each of us will be able to thank God for those joys and the gift of time He has given us. Even the challenges will represent a gift of time, a gift of another day, another year.
I didn’t articulate that very well and I am sorry for that. But, I did like Fr.'s thought even if I didn’t convey it well. Our family has a Joy Jar now and we will look through the slips of paper at the end of the year to remember the ups and downs of 2013.
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Lady_Love
Guest
This is interesting. I live on the East Coast. I have never been to the West Coast to be able to compare but we on the East Coast are what you would call “hardy.” We tend to be extremely practical, we tend to be distrusting of overly smiley people or overly frowning people. We like to hide our true dispositions. I have no idea what that is all about except for a big British influence. We have an independent spirit (which is good and bad) but MOST OF ALL…WE ARE TAXED UP THE WAZOO! We work hard and rarely get to keep our money, the state is always coming in and finding some way to take our money. It’s crazy it is as though they KNOW when you have come into some money. This is most likely the underlying cause of our lack of smiles.
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gmarie21
Guest
You know, when I worked in DC a lot of the people I worked with were from the midwest because of attitude and work ethic. I found that those in my office who were from the midwest were most optimistic too. Yes, east coasters may be more practical and well the west coasters are a different breed too. I had mentioned to a friend back home about most being from the midwest in my office and she said it didn’t surprise her. She use to work in NYC for a major clothing retailer (in their corporate office) and admitted that they preferred hiring midwesterners over any other candidates because of their work ethic and attitude toward life.
As to your last point, my step mom was the only one in her INS office at the time (now she works for Homeland Security) who wore anything that wasn’t black, grey, or navy blue. Even now, she only wears bright tops with her slacks to work. I always wore bright colors out there too, and yes, it was rare to see bright colors during office hours.
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EasterJoy
Guest
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
~ Abraham Lincoln
In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all… Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better… And yet this is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again.
~ Abraham Lincoln
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
~ Abraham Lincoln
~ Abraham Lincoln
In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all… Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better… And yet this is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again.
~ Abraham Lincoln
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
~ Abraham Lincoln
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NewLifeNeil
Guest
Wow. This question is compelling, and really gets me thinking.
It’s hard to sort out, since “happy” is such a broad and vague term.
My reflection is this: If happiness (or contentment) is the absence of anxiety (this is what I tend to think is meant by happiness), then I think it only exists sporadically, though the frequency of it amounts to our overall general state of being happy, and people who appear to be in this state probably are, since out of the heart the mouth speaks, or often it is so…
I’d also suggest that the total lack of anxiety is not to be found, or should not be, since without some perceived thing being not up to expectation amounts to the lack of inspiration to take any form of action.
That means that for many people, the moment one thing appears to be set right, another thing must come into focus needing us to “fix” it. In order that we have anything to do or to look forward to.
The total impossibility of setting something major to right would amount to despair.
Our minds will always come up with something that’s not good enough, and that always keeps us doing things and trying new things. Remove that anxious and seemingly self destructive pattern, and suddenly we become statues.
Imagine Thomas Edison being happy to sit in a dark room, and you see he would not have invented the light bulb.
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EasterJoy
Guest
It is possible, though, to have positive goals without being set about to achieve them out of a sense of anxiety. That you can imagine how to improve something does not mean that you find the present state of affairs a source of unhappiness. Rather, you think you’d find the improvement and the joy of having accomplished it worth the effort of wrestling with the question, which itself can be a pleasure. It is not having a goal that some people find unsettling.
Teddy Roosevelt was a good example of this. He thought that part of enjoying life was wading in and find a goal worth pursuing. He didn’t see resting on one’s laurels as something that engendered contentment, and he did not envy people who had nothing to do. It was having a grand pursuit that gave him that happy feeling.
Obviously, what makes us feel anxious and what gives us a feeling of contentment can differ a great deal from one person to the next!
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Anglewannabe
Guest
What is their secret ? How do they do it? I would love to be one of those people
Angie
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HopenHappiness
Guest
Two of my favorites are
I’m happy because I’m content with what I have. It might not be much but for me it’s enough. ~ Unknown
All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy. ~ Dennis Prager
I am generally a happy person and try to make others happy around me. When I was unhappy was usually when I see someone I love make unhealthy choices in life. But have learned you can only try to guide them, ultimately it is up to them to make the correct choices. Also have learned not to let them bring my happiness down and just give them more love and compassion, and hope and pray they get back on the right path.
I’m happy because I’m content with what I have. It might not be much but for me it’s enough. ~ Unknown
All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy. ~ Dennis Prager
I am generally a happy person and try to make others happy around me. When I was unhappy was usually when I see someone I love make unhealthy choices in life. But have learned you can only try to guide them, ultimately it is up to them to make the correct choices. Also have learned not to let them bring my happiness down and just give them more love and compassion, and hope and pray they get back on the right path.
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SwizzleStick
Guest
I think it frequently is a choice, a matter of mind. One can choose to be joyful, just like one can choose to love.
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1inICXC
Guest
There’ more to life than being happy:
m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/theres-more-to-life-than-being-happy/266805/
An ABSOLUTE must-read!
m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/theres-more-to-life-than-being-happy/266805/
An ABSOLUTE must-read!
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Chantal25
Guest
During the Advent, i recall reading that “Jesus is happiness”.
I know without a doubt that if any part of our being seek for him they will experience happiness. Depending where they are in their believes but at some point manage to have Jesus in their heart, they will experience nothing but peace regardless what happen around them.
Mother Teresa said that nobody can know God if they don’t know love. When we practice charity, kindness or compassion and especially with humility, our lord is there that we believe in him or not. Seek and you will find.
Practicing our Catholic faith is such a great mother and she protect us in so many ways.
All the best!
I know without a doubt that if any part of our being seek for him they will experience happiness. Depending where they are in their believes but at some point manage to have Jesus in their heart, they will experience nothing but peace regardless what happen around them.
Mother Teresa said that nobody can know God if they don’t know love. When we practice charity, kindness or compassion and especially with humility, our lord is there that we believe in him or not. Seek and you will find.
Practicing our Catholic faith is such a great mother and she protect us in so many ways.
All the best!
M
mellowcalico
Guest
Hey… I resemble that remark
I am from that area and live there now. I also lived in Southern California and overseas for a while. Once you get to know people, they are pretty much the same everywhere (and every degree of happiness and unhappiness). It’s the outward facade that changes–and to me seems like a cultural thing. I think there is a pretty even mix of mostly happy and mostly unhappy people from what I’ve seen.
As for me, I am usually very happy. Once in a while I am sad, but it goes quickly. I liken my disposition to the exact opposite of a chronically depressed person. Life is good, I am happy to be alive, and I have everything I really need. The few times I start feeling down about myself, I am reminded of people who have things a lot worse than I do and being grateful (and happy) kicks in again. Even when I grieve and mourn, it doesn’t last long and I find myself thinking not of the loss, but of all the good times I had with the person. There is a reason I am asked to give almost all of the family eulogies now (I’ve even had priests tell me that I give wonderful and inspiring eulogies).
But outwardly I am told I have a “poker face” and am hard to read. So to a stranger, I probably “look” glum. But inside I am full of joy!
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HolyRosaryChild
Guest
“Ditto” to Lady Love’s view:
I think it depends on whether they are grateful or feel entitled. Grateful people are happy as long as they remain grateful. Those who have a sense of entitlement usually think they deserve more than they have, feel slighted, resentful, bitter, etc.
I know some people who have been through some real tragedy such as rape, death, poverty, and sickness but remain grateful through it all and keep a steady stream of happiness at their core. Then there are those that I know who have been fed with a silver spoon their entire life and think it is never enough, they could win the lottery and still be miserable.
I believe most people who receive their daily bread (necessities) and are not Blind, not seriously disabled, not have a genetic predisposition to debilitating depression, have the opportunity to (a) live a healthy life through choices, (b) have the choices to do things for others, and most importantly choose faith in God, Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother, are able to be positive in their Attitudes to be Happy for the most part throughout life.
I think it depends on whether they are grateful or feel entitled. Grateful people are happy as long as they remain grateful. Those who have a sense of entitlement usually think they deserve more than they have, feel slighted, resentful, bitter, etc.
I know some people who have been through some real tragedy such as rape, death, poverty, and sickness but remain grateful through it all and keep a steady stream of happiness at their core. Then there are those that I know who have been fed with a silver spoon their entire life and think it is never enough, they could win the lottery and still be miserable.
I believe most people who receive their daily bread (necessities) and are not Blind, not seriously disabled, not have a genetic predisposition to debilitating depression, have the opportunity to (a) live a healthy life through choices, (b) have the choices to do things for others, and most importantly choose faith in God, Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother, are able to be positive in their Attitudes to be Happy for the most part throughout life.
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