F
faithwithworks
Guest
I find myself in a situation where I do not know what the right course of action is. I figured that asking the advice of the good people on CAF might be helpful, though I do intend to also consult my priest on this matter before doing anything. I apologize for the length of this post.
The sad situation is the following:
I am a young college student. I live at home during summers, but otherwise live on my own. My mother divorced when I was a child and there is no chance of her reconciling with my father (for which I can’t say I blame her in the slightest considering the type of person he is).
She has been single for years, but in the last year she has started dating again. I was at first very happy about this since I did not want my mother to be alone. I was also happy that she was beginning the process of getting her marriage with my father annulled. Without getting into the details her priest and others felt she had a very strong case that her marriage was invalid in the eyes of the Church.
However, since that time she has given up on the annulment process and stopped it before it was ever finished. She chose to do this because her boyfriend has been divorced as well and is not Catholic and so refuses to seek an annulment through the Church. This is despite the fact that his former marriage also appears to have likely been invalid (honestly I thought that simply by virtue of the fact that he was married by a justice of the peace and not by a priest of any Christian denomination that his marriage would be invalid, but I’ve since been told by local Church members that this is not necessarily so).
Anyway, getting back to the point. This man is now living with my mother. And I am as certain as a son could be without actually witnessing the acts that my mother and this man are having sexual relations as well.
So what do I do?
How do I help my mother stop living in this way that is contrary to God’s commandments?
I do not think it is right or appropriate for me to attempt to reprimand my own mother. And on top of that I also don’t think it would do an ounce of good. I imagine it would only result in a fight and damage our relationship.
I have tried to keep nudging her to continue with the annulment process even if he won’t, but so far she hasn’t changed her mind. My hope is maybe if she were to receive an annulment it would motivate her to push her boyfriend to do the same. Or at least make her think more carefully about the nature of the marriage bond and the Church’s teachings on marriage.
I have also once or twice very carefully manged to mention to her that receiving Holy Communion in a situation like hers is a sin, but this has either been ignored or went unnoticed because she still receives Holy Communion weekly and is also an EMHC.
I do not want to judge my mother too harshly, nor do I want to manage her life, but I do want to help her if I can without overstepping my bounds as her son. I would appreciate any advice you may be able to give me on this matter.
Please try to be charitable and polite in your responses. Thank you.
The sad situation is the following:
I am a young college student. I live at home during summers, but otherwise live on my own. My mother divorced when I was a child and there is no chance of her reconciling with my father (for which I can’t say I blame her in the slightest considering the type of person he is).
She has been single for years, but in the last year she has started dating again. I was at first very happy about this since I did not want my mother to be alone. I was also happy that she was beginning the process of getting her marriage with my father annulled. Without getting into the details her priest and others felt she had a very strong case that her marriage was invalid in the eyes of the Church.
However, since that time she has given up on the annulment process and stopped it before it was ever finished. She chose to do this because her boyfriend has been divorced as well and is not Catholic and so refuses to seek an annulment through the Church. This is despite the fact that his former marriage also appears to have likely been invalid (honestly I thought that simply by virtue of the fact that he was married by a justice of the peace and not by a priest of any Christian denomination that his marriage would be invalid, but I’ve since been told by local Church members that this is not necessarily so).
Anyway, getting back to the point. This man is now living with my mother. And I am as certain as a son could be without actually witnessing the acts that my mother and this man are having sexual relations as well.
So what do I do?
How do I help my mother stop living in this way that is contrary to God’s commandments?
I do not think it is right or appropriate for me to attempt to reprimand my own mother. And on top of that I also don’t think it would do an ounce of good. I imagine it would only result in a fight and damage our relationship.
I have tried to keep nudging her to continue with the annulment process even if he won’t, but so far she hasn’t changed her mind. My hope is maybe if she were to receive an annulment it would motivate her to push her boyfriend to do the same. Or at least make her think more carefully about the nature of the marriage bond and the Church’s teachings on marriage.
I have also once or twice very carefully manged to mention to her that receiving Holy Communion in a situation like hers is a sin, but this has either been ignored or went unnoticed because she still receives Holy Communion weekly and is also an EMHC.
I do not want to judge my mother too harshly, nor do I want to manage her life, but I do want to help her if I can without overstepping my bounds as her son. I would appreciate any advice you may be able to give me on this matter.
Please try to be charitable and polite in your responses. Thank you.
