Mother is Against One of my Discernments

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Hotgoldensun

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Hi everyone,

Before I type I would like to mention that I may leave out information needed. If I did feel free to ask :).

Currently I am discerning between the Maronite priesthood and Maronite monastic life. The vocation I feel strongly called to is the Maronite monastic life. My mom does not like that I feel called to the Maronite monastic life. She thinks that the Monastic life is a waste of my life. I replied that our earthly lives are not our main lives. She has opened some to the idea of me as a brother ever since I started asking her if I could go to a retreat at the monastery. I e-mailed the monastery and they currently e-mail me advice. Also, they mentioned it was fine if I happened to go on a retreat there. I desire to enter the Maronite monastic life as soon as I am eligible. I am not too sure what to do if my mom does not like my calling when I ask her later this year about the retreat. 🤷

Do any of you guys have advice?

Thanks 🙂
 
It may not be that your mom is against it, she’s just being a mom. I was met with a similar reaction from my own mother initially–she just wasn’t sure about what I was doing, and her first instinct is to be protective. It wasn’t that she was opposed to me going to seminary, it was just sort of an unknown thing for her. After I got to talking about it more, and got more serious about it, she became more supportive. We had a lot of good conversations where I more or less had to explain that while I appreciate whatever support and counsel she would have to offer, discernment was ultimately between me and God. Now I couldn’t have a bigger supporter than my mother. So I’d say be patient, talk to her about things, and she may become more open as time goes on. Know that you are in my prayers, and good luck to you as you pursue what God is calling you to in life.

-ACEGC
 
edward_george said:
It may not be that your mom is against it, she’s just being a mom. I was met with a similar reaction from my own mother initially–she just wasn’t sure about what I was doing, and her first instinct is to be protective. It wasn’t that she was opposed to me going to seminary, it was just sort of an unknown thing for her. After I got to talking about it more, and got more serious about it, she became more supportive. We had a lot of good conversations where I more or less had to explain that while I appreciate whatever support and counsel she would have to offer, discernment was ultimately between me and God. Now I couldn’t have a bigger supporter than my mother. So I’d say be patient, talk to her about things, and she may become more open as time goes on. Know that you are in my prayers, and good luck to you as you pursue what God is calling you to in life.

-ACEGC
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Thankyou :-), your post has helped me. God bless you and have a blessed week!
 
It is difficult for some parents, even when they are devout, to accept that their children are called to religious life. Give her time. Always be kind when you discuss this topic. And pray for her that she grows to accept your vocation and supports you in it.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
It is difficult for some parents, even when they are devout, to accept that their children are called to religious life. Give her time. Always be kind when you discuss this topic. And pray for her that she grows to accept your vocation and supports you in it.
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Thanks :). What i’ve noticed though is I was approaching the situation incorrectly the whole time :(. I will do my best with God’s Help to do what you have advised :).
 
My mom is trying to bring me to these doctors that do alternative medicine because she thinks there is something wrong with me. I constantly tell her I am fine, but she tells me I am not. I do not know if she is trying to do this, but I wonder if she is trying to go as far as trying to change my mood about my discernment. If she needs me to go to these appointments then i’ll do what she says, but if she is expecting me to have a change in my discernment then that will definitely not happen unless if God Wills.

She does not like the idea of a cloistered life at all, and she even tells me I am different. Whenever I bring up the monastic life she is always doing her absolute best to try and persuade me out of it. I’ll continue to respond with kindness and patience to go to a retreat to the monastery I feel God is calling me to. Prayers are needed, and I thankyou for them :). Until then if anything else happens I will be sure to post.
 
Hotgoldensun said:
Prayers are needed, and I thankyou for them :). Until then if anything else happens I will be sure to post.
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Please do let us know how things are going.

Can you refuse to see these alternative practicioners? Go see a regular doctor if she suspects that there is something wrong with you. But if she wants someone to chant over you and cast spells (or whatever they do), then please don’t do that. It is against our faith to expose ourselves to such things, it is potentially harmful. It just sounds like pure manipulation to me.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
Please do let us know how things are going.

Can you refuse to see these alternative practicioners? Go see a regular doctor if she suspects that there is something wrong with you. But if she wants someone to chant over you and cast spells (or whatever they do), then please don’t do that. It is against our faith to expose ourselves to such things, it is potentially harmful. It just sounds like pure manipulation to me.
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She does not do any of that type of stuff, but thankyou for your concerns :). She has opened up some more and we will be talking to my spiritual director tomorrow.

Thankyou for your support :).
 
Sister Faustina’s parent didn’t approve her religious life but when they saw her again, the realized how happy she was and this was for her.

Pray God that if this is your call to support you in all the ways possible, if there is another option, to show you the way.

Love and blessings to you!
 
One thing that eases my mind as I watch my young daughter approach her vocation, is seeing her live her vocation as best as she can in my house. She is not old enough to live in community or to officially enter, but she is being guided by a spiritual director and helped to live the life as best as she can as she is still in school. As a mother, I do wonder if she has found her right “fit.” Is this the right religious group for her? Just like people date to find the right spouse, it is hard when a young person finds the “right” religious order so quickly in life. I do not doubt her devotion or her calling to her single vocation, it is just an initial worry concerning the “proper fit.”

As time has gone on, and I see her living the life in her everyday actions, I am more and more convinced this is the correct path. But just as I watch my older child date, and look for the proper spouse, I will continue to watch my daughter as she begins to live her vocation. It’s what we moms do…😊

I think the best thing has been my own research into her new life. Help you mom learn about the monastic life, and let her meet with your director as often as she can. It is wonderful that she is doing so now, but remember, she WILL have questions as time goes on. We moms love our kids and want that is best for them.

God bless you and your mom!
 
Will the order you join prohibit you from contact with your family? Will contact be severely limited? If so, she may be horrified by the thought of losing you, not at the thought of religious life. As a mom, I would MUCH more easily accept a son’s call to be a diocesan priest than a cloistered monk (truthfully, that would shatter my heart.)
 
Hotgoldensun said:
My mom is trying to bring me to these doctors that do alternative medicine because she thinks there is something wrong with me. I constantly tell her I am fine, but she tells me I am not.
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Does she only think there is something wrong with you because of your desire for monastic life? Or does she have other reservations about your health that might affect your vocation? Could she be seeing something that you aren’t?
 
nodito said:
Does she only think there is something wrong with you because of your desire for monastic life? Or does she have other reservations about your health that might affect your vocation? Could she be seeing something that you aren’t?
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When we were talking to my pastor about my discernment I discovered that majority of the time the situations have been caused by my part. My mother has not caused majority of the problems, and we did discover things I need to improve. My discernment is at a stalemate right now. I have been told by many people I need to remain patient, faithful, obedient, kind, and persevere of what God is calling me to do. Thank you all for your prayers, and I will continue to do my best in my highschool career with patience, perseverance, kindness, obedience, and remain faithful with the Help of Christ.
 
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