Mother wanting communion without becoming Catholic

[Tinkinen]

I am Catholic since half a year while the rest of my family is still Lutheran. My mother thinks it is unfair that she cannot receive communion in a Catholic mass when she occasionally accompanies me, so that I should arrange some kind of permission to make it possible. My sponsor for reception into the Church had actually told her that the bishop can give this kind of permission, but I have never actually heard of one.
My mother has said that she is not opposed to the Catholic teaching but she does not want to be received into the Catholic Church as she does not consider it necessary, and it would involve inconveniences such as longer church trips.
Do you have advice for my situation?

 

[blessedtrinity]

Hello,

If you need Sound advice about your situation than call Father Paul Ward at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Imlay City, Michigan. 810-724-1135

Father Paul will give you Correct Answers to your questions and will guide you to the Correct Path you and your Mother MUST take.

As for now, I would tell your mother to be patient and NOT Receive our Lord in Holy Communion.

Hope this helps…

 

[Kal2012]

One of the main reasons why I want to convert is so that I can partake in the Eucharist as a full member of the Church. It was a large struggle to get to the point where I wanted to join the church. I really can’t wait for Easter Vigil so that I can finally be a full member and participate in the Eucharist.

My RCIA director says that about half of the people who worship in the parish take the Eucharist w/o being Catholic. I’m told that it’s a matter of conscious, but if you don’t believe in transubstantiation and you don’t respect for the process of being reconciled to the church/asking your priest for forgiveness for your sins, then what business do you really have participating in the ceremony?

I’m rather insulted at the laxity at which the subject is approached, given that I was specifically told the first time I entered a Catholic church w/my then boyfriend (now husband) that I would not be able to participate in communion because I wasn’t a Catholic. That’s just the way it was. There wasn’t a “maybe” anywhere in the conversation. It was something that I had to accept. The Eucharist was for Catholics only. I totally understand why that is these days. I didn’t back then.

I’m a parent. I get why a parent wants to take communion with their kid, but I still think mom needs convert. I know I’m already looking forward to my son’s confirmation and he’s not even in elementary school yet.

Anyway - that’s my perspective.
Jo

 

[3DOCTORS]

Perhaps you could brainstorm with her some ways to deal with the perceived obstacles of travel, etc. and encourage her to go ahead with RCIA/conversion? :twocents:

 

[R_C]

My mother has said that she is not opposed to the Catholic teaching but she does not want to be received into the Catholic Church as she does not consider it necessary

The Catholic Church is like the Ark of Noah All other Christian communities separated themselves from the Catholic Church and therefore are said to be “not in full communion” with the Catholic Church.

If she loves the Church, she should be in full communion with it. It is very necessary, because it is the will of Christ, who wants us to be “one flock with one shepherd”, “one as He and the Father are one”, and as the Apostles said, “there is one bread, one body, one Church”, thus when we realize this and feel the need to move away from doctrines that were meant to move away from the Church and the need to become one with the Church, we ought to act on this wonderful feeling, because it is a great blessing.

 

[MaryT777]

One of the main reasons why I want to convert is so that I can partake in the Eucharist as a full member of the Church. It was a large struggle to get to the point where I wanted to join the church. I really can’t wait for Easter Vigil so that I can finally be a full member and participate in the Eucharist.

My RCIA director says that about half of the people who worship in the parish take the Eucharist w/o being Catholic. I’m told that it’s a matter of conscious, but if you don’t believe in transubstantiation and you don’t respect for the process of being reconciled to the church/asking your priest for forgiveness for your sins, then what business do you really have participating in the ceremony?

I’m rather insulted at the laxity at which the subject is approached, given that I was specifically told the first time I entered a Catholic church w/my then boyfriend (now husband) that I would not be able to participate in communion because I wasn’t a Catholic. That’s just the way it was. There wasn’t a “maybe” anywhere in the conversation. It was something that I had to accept. The Eucharist was for Catholics only. I totally understand why that is these days. I didn’t back then.

I’m a parent. I get why a parent wants to take communion with their kid, but I still think mom needs convert. I know I’m already looking forward to my son’s confirmation and he’s not even in elementary school yet.

Anyway - that’s my perspective.
Jo

The priest in one parish I attended told a married couple who didn’t want to go through the annulment process in the Catholic Church they could commune if their conscience dictated it to be ok which upset a lot of people who had followed Church rules regarding the annulment process before remarriage in the Catholic Church so they could receive Communion.
He said several times “I’m not the Communion police”.

Someone told me a parish priest cannot refuse anyone communion without the Bishop’s express permission. Can someone verify if this is correct? Thank you.
Mary.

 

[R_C]

From here:

Q. 1. Can a Catholic priest deny someone the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist?

A. Yes he can.

Q. 2. Under what circumstances can a Catholic priest deny someone the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist?

A. It can be denied under the following circumstances:

1. The Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist cannot be administered to members of other religions, and

2. The Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist cannot be administered to those who voluntarily continue to live in grave sin.

Q. 3. Where does it teach in the Catholic Church that the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist cannot be administered to members of other religions?

A. This reference is found in Canon Law # 844 §§1 to 5

Q. 4. Where does it teach in the Catholic Church that the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist cannot be administered to those who voluntarily continue to live in grave sin?

A. This reference is found in Canon Law # Canon Law # 915.

Q. 6. Is there not the danger of causing a public scandal by denying someone the Holy Communion?

A. As a general rule, giving the person the benefit of the doubt, the priest will not deny the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. (This is not saying that the administration of the Sacrament was permitted. The person who receives the Body and Blood of Christ in an unworthy manner shall still be answerable to God.) Following the administration of the Sacrament, the priest is obligated before God, as a representative of the Holy Catholic Church and by conscience to meet with the person in private, to identify the state of the person’s soul and to explain the teachings of the Church regarding the administration of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.

Should it be identified that the person is not in a state of grace, he/she will be notified that unless he/she changes his/her way of life, sincerely repent and receive the Sacrament of Confession, future administration of the Sacrament of the Holy Communion will be denied.

Should the person persist on approaching the Altar to receive the Sacrament of Holy Communion after having been warned and the priest is absolutely sure that the person has not repented of his/her sins, then, the priest is obligated to deny the person the Sacrament.

Should the person create a scene after having been warned, it shall not be the priest, but rather the person, who shall be responsible for creating the public scandal that draws attention to his/her status before God.

 

[GraceSofia]

I am Catholic since half a year while the rest of my family is still Lutheran. My mother thinks it is unfair that she cannot receive communion in a Catholic mass when she occasionally accompanies me, so that I should arrange some kind of permission to make it possible. My sponsor for reception into the Church had actually told her that the bishop can give this kind of permission, but I have never actually heard of one.
My mother has said that she is not opposed to the Catholic teaching but she does not want to be received into the Catholic Church as she does not consider it necessary, and it would involve inconveniences such as longer church trips.
Do you have advice for my situation?

Stand firm in what you know to be true.

“Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself.” (1 Cor 11:27-29)

It is a serious thing to receive the Eucharist without discerning that it is the Body of Jesus.
Perhaps pointing this out, and that receiving Communion is about being in communion with the Catholic Church?

It’s wonderful that she is going to Mass with you and is not opposed to Catholic teaching. I hope she continues in this journey. Does she ever watch EWTN? Read books about the faith?

 

[YinYangMom]

Ask her if she believes the bread and wine become Jesus’ body, blood, soul and divinity, and that the remaining hosts that get placed in the tabernacle are still Jesus’ body, soul, blood and divinity.

As a Lutheran she will likely say she believes that when the host is distributed to the people it is Jesus in union with the bread and wine, but that it doesn’t stay that way. The host and wine return to it’s usual state.

Tell her that for you, and all the others approaching the host and responding ‘Amen’ (“Truly”, without a doubt), the bread becomes Jesus and remains Jesus, in our own bodies/souls and in the tabernacle - his greatest gift to us!

If she responds scoffngly, then point out that her response is the reason why she can’t receive communion. You know her to be an honest and trustworthy person. You can’t see her responding “Amen” openly in public like that to something she does not believe.

If she wants to believe in transubstantiation then invite her to join RCIA so she can adequately prepare for that.

Bottom line, Catholic communion is not Lutheran communion. There is a significant difference, as you will have pointed out.

 

[MaryT777]

From here:

Thank you for this informative post.
Mary.

 

[Tinkinen]

Stand firm in what you know to be true.
I hope she continues in this journey. Does she ever watch EWTN? Read books about the faith?

At one time, she read (parts of) some books, but I don’t think she does this anymore. She does not like to read or watch anything in English. There is a limited amount of literature in Finnish, our native tongue, which is a bit of a problem. Most of the reading I did before my conversion was in English.

 

[3DOCTORS]

At one time, she read (parts of) some books, but I don’t think she does this anymore. She does not like to read or watch anything in English. There is a limited amount of literature in Finnish, our native tongue, which is a bit of a problem. Most of the reading I did before my conversion was in English.

Would she be willing to have a conversation with a Finnish-speaking Catholic priest about all this? Maybe it would help clarify things.

 

[GraceSofia]

At one time, she read (parts of) some books, but I don’t think she does this anymore. She does not like to read or watch anything in English. There is a limited amount of literature in Finnish, our native tongue, which is a bit of a problem. Most of the reading I did before my conversion was in English.

Ah. That is more difficult. Well, I guess it is up to you to talk with her.
Remember to pray. . . because it is the Holy Spirit who does the work of converting people.

 

[GraceSofia]

Here is the web site of the Catholic Church in Finland. It has some sections (on the left side) about the faith, prayers, Church documents, etc. Maybe she would read a little bit?

katolinen.net/

 

[Nan_S]

I have a different but related situation. A cousin who converted to Catholicism many years ago is a “do it my way” Catholic. Mass has never been a serious priority for him. I want try to get him to attend Mass on New Year’s Day. But I know that if he does show up he will take communion, as he feels entitled to do.

This cousin is a long distance trucker who spends weeks at a time out on the road. While out working he found it difficult to get to a church so he stopped trying. Very few churches have parking lots for tractor trailers, and the only other way to get there from a truck stop would be to hire a cab (so he says).

Now that it is Christmas week he’s home with the family. Christmas eve he arrived late in the evening; Christmas day he stayed in bed. He said he was too tired from traveling to go to Christmas Mass. Today (Sunday after Christmas) he slept in all morning. In the mid-afternoon he went out to run errands. 10 minuted before evening Mass I finally reached him on the cell and asked if he would be joining us at the evening Mass he so often attended in years past. No he wouldn’t; he was still busy with his errands.

Tuesday is New Year’s Day. I can probably get him to join us at Mass. It will be his first time in at least two months, and probably longer. If he shows up he will get in the communion line. Should I try to stop him he will walk out in a huff, complain loudly in front of everyone about MY bad attitude, and use my “intolerance” as an excuse to not come back to church again for a long time. The priest won’t deny him communion; so who am I to say different? (The priest doesn’t know he hadn’t seen the inside of a church in months unless it was convenient.)

I’d rather he be in church than not, even if it only occasionally, so I feel compelled to let this issue slide. Jesus did reach out to the sick and weak, after all. But it’s pretty hard for my kids to understand why missing Mass and then taking communion without going to confession first is a mortal sin for them, yet here I am encouraging this fallen cousin to come to church and don’t object when he takes communion.

 

[fordhamstudent]

I would encourage her if she desires to receive bread and wine that she can go to the store and have it before she comes to Mass so she doesn’t have such a hankering for it at your Church. I have had so many Protestant friends want to take communion when they come to Church with me that one day I just told a friend who was complaining about it to go get some bread and wine from the store and eat it at home before they came with me to Mass because that was all they were getting anyway in their Protestant Church when they had the “Lord’s Supper” (As you can tell, I was rather perturbed). I would just bluntly explain, in a soft empathic way, that the Catholic Eucharist is to be received by persons in a state of grace in communion with the Pope of Rome and there is no reason to receive communion in my Church if they did not hold to the Catholic Faith on the Eucharist–and if for some reason they did hold to it, to do like everyone else and go through RCIA. Sheesh.

 

[GraceSofia]

NanS,
I’m not clear from your post on whether you have previously discussed this with him or admonished him? If you have, and it’s fallen on deaf ears, I would say to leave it in God’s hands.

But if you have never said anything before… hmmm… I’m not sure. Maybe print out something like this catholic.com/tracts/who-can-receive-communion and give it to him? I wonder if in deciding whether to admonish a sinner we can use some of the ideas of when to wage just war? I think one of the justifications is that there has to be a reasonable expectation of success.

For your kids, maybe tell them that you are not in a position of authority over your cousin and ultimately it is between him and God?

I am aware of a 19-year-old friend of my son’s who receives unworthily because his father forces him to go to Mass. I know that when he is off at college, he never attends, and even worse, he mocks Catholicism and says he is an atheist. However, I certainly have no authority over him, and I have not felt led to say anything. I pray for him.

 

[Nan_S]

NanS,
I’m not clear from your post on whether you have previously discussed this with him or admonished him? If you have, and it’s fallen on deaf ears, I would say to leave it in God’s hands.

But if you have never said anything before… hmmm… I’m not sure. Maybe print out something like this catholic.com/tracts/who-can-receive-communion and give it to him? I wonder if in deciding whether to admonish a sinner we can use some of the ideas of when to wage just war? I think one of the justifications is that there has to be a reasonable expectation of success.

For your kids, maybe tell them that you are not in a position of authority over your cousin and ultimately it is between him and God?

I am aware of a 19-year-old friend of my son’s who receives unworthily because his father forces him to go to Mass. I know that when he is off at college, he never attends, and even worse, he mocks Catholicism and says he is an atheist. However, I certainly have no authority over him, and I have not felt led to say anything. I pray for him.

Oh I have discussed it with him, but he says he just doesn’t see it that way. Maybe it has something to do with his Protestant childhood, and the casual way his parents viewed the Lord’s Supper and church attendance.

It’s frustrating for me. This same man will joke about the 10 commandments being commandments and not suggestions. But then he practically mocks the one true church established by God, the one to which he says he belongs, by treating the laws of this church as suggestions to be honored when convenient for him.

I suppose I really wouldn’t care so much, except that when he came to town for Christmas I welcomed him into my home. I just remind myself that God treated the chosen people with heavenly patience. In reading the histories of the kingdoms of Israel and Judah in the Old Testament, we see that God kept sending them prophets and always giving them another chance, until they had literally run the kingdoms so far into the ground that there was nothing left God could do to get their attention except allow the Assyrians and the Babylonians to overrun the place. If God can exercise that much patience with the heresies practiced by His chosen people, I can afford to have a little patience with the persistent sinners in my life.

 

[PJM]

=Tinkinen;10175327]I am Catholic since half a year while the rest of my family is still Lutheran. My mother thinks it is unfair that she cannot receive communion in a Catholic mass when she occasionally accompanies me, so that I should arrange some kind of permission to make it possible. My sponsor for reception into the Church had actually told her that the bishop can give this kind of permission, but I have never actually heard of one.
My mother has said that she is not opposed to the Catholic teaching but she does not want to be received into the Catholic Church as she does not consider it necessary, and it would involve inconveniences such as longer church trips.
Do you have advice for my situation?

So dear friend;

DID Jesus give the keys to heaven to Peter alone and through him the Cc ALONE or to mom? [Mt. 15:15-19]

Is Mom in charge or is God in charge?

Pray for her, but do NOT encourage her to receive Catholic Holy Communion!

 

[PennyinCanada]

I think if I was in your shoes, I would say that she’s like a teenager who wants to drive but doesn’t want to bother to go through the proper channels to obtain a license. After all, she’s been a passenger in a car forever, the gas and the brake pedal can be operated by a monkey, and what’s the big deal? However, there’s plenty to learn if you want a driver’s license, and there’s people in place to make sure you and every one else know what they’re doing.

To get certain privileges, a certain amount of effort is required on our part.