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olive456
Guest
What are the Church teachings on mothers who choose to work outside of home (not for financial reasons, but because she wants to pursue a career she is interested in)?
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1
1ke
Guest
This is a matter of prudential judgment.What are the Church teachings on mothers who choose to work outside of home (not for financial reasons, but because she wants to pursue a career she is interested in)?
The Church does not have any doctrinal teaching on this subject.
There are many papal and other Vatican documents on the family, if you are interested in reading them go to the EWTN document library and use the keyword “family”.
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olive456
Guest
Thank you for your response. I have read a few Vatican documents on the family. I still don’t understand what would be considered prudential and what wouldn’t. For example, would it be wrong for a mother to keep her children in child care or with a nanny just so she could pursue her career?This is a matter of prudential judgment.
The Church does not have any doctrinal teaching on this subject.
There are many papal and other Vatican documents on the family, if you are interested in reading them go to the EWTN document library and use the keyword “family”.
U
UpUpAndAway
Guest
I would think that needs to be decided on a case-by-case basis. It depends upon the individual mother in question, the individual children involved, the point of view of the father, and the nature of the job.
If a mother’s career obligations result in the neglect of her family, that situation urgently needs to be corrected. Outside of such an obvious example, there is no one right answer to your question that will apply to everyone.
If a mother’s career obligations result in the neglect of her family, that situation urgently needs to be corrected. Outside of such an obvious example, there is no one right answer to your question that will apply to everyone.
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olive456
Guest
What would you consider as neglect of the family? outside the obvious example, would you say that accessing daycare for the child is selfish when the mother could have quit work and looked after the child instead?If a mother’s career obligations result in the neglect of her family, that situation urgently needs to be corrected. Outside of such an obvious example, there is no one right answer to your question that will apply to everyone.
U
underacloud
Guest
olive456,
None of us can answer your questions directly. As 1ke says, it is a matter of prudential judgement - which is to say, you will need to weigh up the pros and cons for yourself as the Church doesn’t have any clear teachings one way or another.
But we can perhaps comment on our own experiences, obervations, and knowledge.
We have four children and my wife works one day a week at present. Our parents alternatively help out on those days and it’s great for the younger children to get that time with the grandparents. It’s also great for my wife to have a break from being a mum and spend time in adult company. Many women enjoy that. And career fulfilment is not some kind of evil that is only gained at the expense of one’s family. It’s all about balance.
You may also consider the strong (but not neccessarily definitive) research that suggests children benefit from some daycare/preschool as it helps them prepare for school, learn appropriate social behaviours, etc. My second youngest goes to preschool two days a week, even though mum is home on both days. It is a stepping stone to big school.
That’s just some food for thought. Only you can weigh the pros and cons in your own situation.
None of us can answer your questions directly. As 1ke says, it is a matter of prudential judgement - which is to say, you will need to weigh up the pros and cons for yourself as the Church doesn’t have any clear teachings one way or another.
But we can perhaps comment on our own experiences, obervations, and knowledge.
We have four children and my wife works one day a week at present. Our parents alternatively help out on those days and it’s great for the younger children to get that time with the grandparents. It’s also great for my wife to have a break from being a mum and spend time in adult company. Many women enjoy that. And career fulfilment is not some kind of evil that is only gained at the expense of one’s family. It’s all about balance.
You may also consider the strong (but not neccessarily definitive) research that suggests children benefit from some daycare/preschool as it helps them prepare for school, learn appropriate social behaviours, etc. My second youngest goes to preschool two days a week, even though mum is home on both days. It is a stepping stone to big school.
That’s just some food for thought. Only you can weigh the pros and cons in your own situation.
U
UpUpAndAway
Guest
What I would consider neglect of the family depends upon the specific family in question. To use an extreme example: let’s say a mother is responsible for the preparation and serving of the evening meal for her family, but her job has her working late most days to and extent that she cannot assure this meal. As a result, the family fend for themselves and don’t regularly eat a proper meal in the evening. That situation needs to be addressed right away, as it jeopardizes everyone’s health.What would you consider as neglect of the family? outside the obvious example, would you say that accessing daycare for the child is selfish when the mother could have quit work and looked after the child instead?
Extrapolating further from that, the solution for that exact situation can differ from family to family. The mother doesn’t only have one choice, to quit working and stay home to be certain to be able to prepare dinner every day. She could, for instance, choose to delegate the responsibility to her husband or an older child, she could enlist a member of her extended family who lives nearby, or she could hire someone to perform the task.
To cite two examples from my own life: my mother quit working when she married my dad. We didn’t need a second income to provide correctly for the family, so she stayed home and raised the kids until the youngest was old enough to not need Mom’s undivided attention. The Husband’s mother went back to work shortly after he was born, even though their household also did not need a second income to make ends meet. His grandmother (her mother) took care of him while Mom and Dad were at the office. In both scenarios, another mother might choose differently.
I would say a mother who puts her own career objectives above the well-being of her family has her priorities skewed, but (1) that is my opinion, not Church teaching, and (2) beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter, what is needed to assure the well-being of a family is not something that can be generalized.
A
AnnArbor
Guest
True. And a man’s job should be decided on a case-by-case basis. it depends upon the individual father in question, the individual children involved, the point of view of the mother, and the nature of the job.I would think that needs to be decided on a case-by-case basis. It depends upon the individual mother in question, the individual children involved, the point of view of the father, and the nature of the job.
If a mother’s career obligations result in the neglect of her family, that situation urgently needs to be corrected. Outside of such an obvious example, there is no one right answer to your question that will apply to everyone.
If a father’s career obligations result in the neglect of his family, the situation urgently needs to be corrected.
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Bruised_Reed
Guest
I agree with those who have already said there is no official church teaching, it’s a matter of prudence and to be considered on a case by case basis.
There are saints who promoted mother working outside the home including St. Teresa Benedicta (Edith Stein). I don’t have a quote but her thoughts on the matter were a nice contrast to the Dr. Laura-esque “mothers must stay at home to care for their children - no exceptions!” that I was hearing. To sum it up she said as long as good child care was provided, a mother could work out side the home in good conscience. St. Gianna Molla was a doctor and the mother of 4 children. I don’t recall that she gave up medicine because she became a mother.
There are saints who promoted mother working outside the home including St. Teresa Benedicta (Edith Stein). I don’t have a quote but her thoughts on the matter were a nice contrast to the Dr. Laura-esque “mothers must stay at home to care for their children - no exceptions!” that I was hearing. To sum it up she said as long as good child care was provided, a mother could work out side the home in good conscience. St. Gianna Molla was a doctor and the mother of 4 children. I don’t recall that she gave up medicine because she became a mother.
B
Book_Worm
Guest
My mom had to work when I was young, and I hated it. She never neglected me and I know she did not work by choice. However, I was almost the only kid I knew whose mother had to work, so I think that’s a good part of the reason it made me so unhappy. I was the ONLY kid whose mom was not there when they came home from school. I vowed that would never happen and we waited until we could afford for me to stay at home to have a child.
Then when my DD was in college, she began to work at the daycare center my company maintained on our site. It was very good care. The ratio for the babies was one teacher for four babies, the older children one to six or eight. And those teachers were carefully selected and very well-trained. Diaper-changing and feeding times were one-on-one times, looking directly into the child’s eyes and talking to them, no sitting around in a circle, chatting with the other teachers or propping a bottle or catching some a TV or reading a book while you nursed (my occasional fault). Lots of hugs and affection, positive re-inforcement, stories and books (the Bookmobile, made frequent visits), interesting outings and trips, a structured, orderly environment with clearly-defined rules and consequences and NO TV ever. It was, in fact, a very good environment, better than a lot of the ones some children have at home. It’s much easier to be warm and pleasant for forty hours a week when your livelihood depends on it than it is when you are with your children 24/7, 52 weeks a year.
My ideal would still be at home with my child, but after seeing what quality daycare can be, I would never accuse a parent who sends his or her child there of being neglectful in any way, especially since it is the norm for most kids today and they do not expect anything different.
Then when my DD was in college, she began to work at the daycare center my company maintained on our site. It was very good care. The ratio for the babies was one teacher for four babies, the older children one to six or eight. And those teachers were carefully selected and very well-trained. Diaper-changing and feeding times were one-on-one times, looking directly into the child’s eyes and talking to them, no sitting around in a circle, chatting with the other teachers or propping a bottle or catching some a TV or reading a book while you nursed (my occasional fault). Lots of hugs and affection, positive re-inforcement, stories and books (the Bookmobile, made frequent visits), interesting outings and trips, a structured, orderly environment with clearly-defined rules and consequences and NO TV ever. It was, in fact, a very good environment, better than a lot of the ones some children have at home. It’s much easier to be warm and pleasant for forty hours a week when your livelihood depends on it than it is when you are with your children 24/7, 52 weeks a year.
My ideal would still be at home with my child, but after seeing what quality daycare can be, I would never accuse a parent who sends his or her child there of being neglectful in any way, especially since it is the norm for most kids today and they do not expect anything different.
I
Inisfallen
Guest
My wife and I have one child. My wife works, and there’s no prospect of that changing.
So our daughter will be in daycare for a while. The alternative would be for one of us to quit our job. My wife would like to stay home with our daughter, but recognizes the economic reality of our situation. She makes about twice as much money as I do (which doesn’t mean that I can just quit work – we need both incomes). We have to save for our daughter’s education, and for our retirement, and for emergencies. We have to pay the mortgage.
I also believe that, since our daughter will probably be an only child, it will be good for her to spend time around other children starting as early as possible.
So everyone’s situation is different. It’s tough in today’s economic climate for one parent to stay home. And there’s no reason why a woman shouldn’t be as invested in her career as a man.
There’s nothing wrong with mothers working outside the home. Each family has to figure out what’s best for them, that’s all.
So our daughter will be in daycare for a while. The alternative would be for one of us to quit our job. My wife would like to stay home with our daughter, but recognizes the economic reality of our situation. She makes about twice as much money as I do (which doesn’t mean that I can just quit work – we need both incomes). We have to save for our daughter’s education, and for our retirement, and for emergencies. We have to pay the mortgage.
I also believe that, since our daughter will probably be an only child, it will be good for her to spend time around other children starting as early as possible.
So everyone’s situation is different. It’s tough in today’s economic climate for one parent to stay home. And there’s no reason why a woman shouldn’t be as invested in her career as a man.
There’s nothing wrong with mothers working outside the home. Each family has to figure out what’s best for them, that’s all.
L
Lookingforjoy
Guest
When I became pregnant with our first child, I had a secure job that provided benefits, and that I loved. My husband had a job he hated with a floundering company. So he quit his job to stay home, and I continued to work. Now he works part-time nights and weekends and our children have a parent home at all times.
Some strictly religious families don’t approve of our situation, but I think it’s fine. I work in a poor, urban environment with kids in special education. I’m glad that I can help them and provide for my kids as well. My husband gets to spend much more time with our kids than his father did, and he’s getting ready to enter a new career when our youngest is in school.
Every family has to decide for themselves what works.
Some strictly religious families don’t approve of our situation, but I think it’s fine. I work in a poor, urban environment with kids in special education. I’m glad that I can help them and provide for my kids as well. My husband gets to spend much more time with our kids than his father did, and he’s getting ready to enter a new career when our youngest is in school.
Every family has to decide for themselves what works.
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