A
albireo
Guest
I have a question I’m struggling with. I’m a teacher and had a student of mine killed on Christmas day. It’s been incredibly hard for all as is expected, especially for the mom. I was especially close to this 12 year old; she was a constant help for me in my classroom and for my wife and I babysitting our little kids. Her Catholic faith was very important to her, but I am unclear how her family felt about the faith themselves. I had always been under the impression she went to church with her grandfather and the rest of the family did something else.
In any case, I knew her mom pretty well; we spoke during many parent conferences talking at length of how to best help this little girl as she got older. I never met the mom’s boyfriend once, so I have no idea how that part of things enter into this. My student had one little brother living with them at home.
Now this sweet thing is gone and I mourn her each day. I know, of course that anything I’m going through is so tiny in comparison, but it still is very painfull. Here’s the problem. I not only grieve the loss of my student, I suffer for the pain her mom is going through. It’s brutally hard for me to see this nice lady’s life falling down around her. I’ve spoken with her quite a few times and it kills me to see the enormous hurt, especially since I am worried about her spiritual condition. I go to the gravesite each day on my lunch myself to pray for her and the whole family along with brining flowers.
Here’s the sticking point - we mourn with those who mourn, and suffer with the afflicted as the good samaritian story says, but what about when the injured party doesn’t know we are suffering for them? What comfort am I when this mom doesn’t see me suffering too? What use (spiritual beyond the “healing process”) is suffering alone for someone that’s so lost?
It seems like I could easily “get busy,” forget the suffering/prayer and move on - suffering no more. Seems like an easy escape for me.
I see how important it is to suffer with those who are suffering, but what benefit is it to sufferer if I am not in contact with them? I can see the standard “worldly” suffering is good for you - the grief process, but I wondering about beyond that.
I’d appreciate any thoughts.
Joe
In any case, I knew her mom pretty well; we spoke during many parent conferences talking at length of how to best help this little girl as she got older. I never met the mom’s boyfriend once, so I have no idea how that part of things enter into this. My student had one little brother living with them at home.
Now this sweet thing is gone and I mourn her each day. I know, of course that anything I’m going through is so tiny in comparison, but it still is very painfull. Here’s the problem. I not only grieve the loss of my student, I suffer for the pain her mom is going through. It’s brutally hard for me to see this nice lady’s life falling down around her. I’ve spoken with her quite a few times and it kills me to see the enormous hurt, especially since I am worried about her spiritual condition. I go to the gravesite each day on my lunch myself to pray for her and the whole family along with brining flowers.
Here’s the sticking point - we mourn with those who mourn, and suffer with the afflicted as the good samaritian story says, but what about when the injured party doesn’t know we are suffering for them? What comfort am I when this mom doesn’t see me suffering too? What use (spiritual beyond the “healing process”) is suffering alone for someone that’s so lost?
It seems like I could easily “get busy,” forget the suffering/prayer and move on - suffering no more. Seems like an easy escape for me.
I see how important it is to suffer with those who are suffering, but what benefit is it to sufferer if I am not in contact with them? I can see the standard “worldly” suffering is good for you - the grief process, but I wondering about beyond that.
I’d appreciate any thoughts.
Joe