Moving away from Christ. Please help!

[Catholic026]

Hello everyone, I have been a member here since many years, but never really used the forum. This post is out of desperate need for help. I have been going through the darkest point in my life right now. It seems like God has forsaken me, but I am trying hard to hold on to him. During my last three weeks, few weird things occured and I promise they have never happened before. When the priest was about to place the Holy Eucharist on my tounge, it almost slipped and I had to catch and put it back inside my mouth, not once but thrice. The other day, when my turn came to receive the Holy communion, the priest couldn’t pick up the Holy Eucharist from the ciborium for quite some time. He just smiled at me and I didn’t know how to react. Although I haven’t given much thought about it, last night I had a dream where the Eucharist fell down from my tongue. All these, I believe, further strengthen my thoughts to move away from the Christ. Or do they mean something else? I’m really worried and afraid I’ll soon become an atheist. Please help!

 

[adamhovey1988]

I want you to know, that a Dark Night of the soul is not the same as becoming an atheist. Sometimes it’s hard to believe, that doesn’t mean you don’t believe

 

[midori]

Keep doing what you know what you should be doing with your brain, and eventually, you’ll catch up with your heart.

Find yourself a patron and develop a relationship with them. Mary or St. Michael are two popular ones, and are both very strong intercessors, but find a devotion that appeals to you as an individual-- someone whose path you admire, and who you want to emulate.

Also, pick something written by a saint, and make it your daily project to read a chapter, or a few paragraphs, every day. See what you get out of it, because you’ll get something.

And pick a Work of Mercy to do every day as well, either Spiritual or Corporeal, whatever appeals to your state in life. Do it for love of God.

You might start off feeling like they’re empty actions— but people find what they are looking for.

I wish you the best.

 

[Chistian-ity]

Psalm 88 perfectly shows the struggles of one in The Dark Night of The Soul:

"Lord, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
2 May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.

3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
5 I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.

6 You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.[d]
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction[e]?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?

15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend." -Psalm 88 NIV - Psalm 88 - A song. A psalm of the Sons - Bible Gateway

It doesn’t need to make you an Atheist. Choosing God in these situations will strengthen you, and you will be rewarded richly in the soul.

 

[Dan_Defender]

All these, I believe, further strengthen my thoughts to move away from the Christ.

And how is that a solution to your problem? If not Christ, to whom will you go??
Have faith and trust in God. The Lord always helps those who truly seek him.

 

[Irishmom2]

Although I haven’t given much thought about it, last night I had a dream where the Eucharist fell down from my tongue. All these, I believe, further strengthen my thoughts to move away from the Christ.

Dreams mean nothing. God would never send a dream that tells you to move away from him. Dreams are sometimes what we thought about during the day. You were remembering the difficulties of receiving communion in the situations you describe. Perhaps you could try receiving from a different priest, or in the hand. Your recent experiences may be distressing you and making you overthink things.

 

[Chistian-ity]

Indeed, that too.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Your dreams are simply reflecting your worries and fears. You are reading too much into these Eucharistic things. A couple weeks ago the priest put Jesus in my hand too hard and broke the Eucharist in half. I could read something into that but instead I just consumed the Eucharist including the crumbs and moved on.

You need to pray, hope, and not worry. Try enlisting the aid of Mother Mary and your favorite saint to pray for you. I’ll pray for you too. I just said a Hail Mary for you.