Moving from servile to filial fear

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EasternCelt

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I’ve been reading a lot about the differences between servile and filial fear. It’s presented a problem for me: I understand the difference between the two, but I do not think I have the ability or desire to move from one to the other. I’ve only ever known servile fear of the Lord because He is our Judge. In my mind, the “negative” aspects of our relationship to God (hell and judgment) darken the “positive” aspects, thus loving God makes very little sense to me, but fear does make a lot of sense.

How do you come to love God even in light of hell?
 
The primary reason Jesus came was to fully reveal the true God, so that we may come to know Him, and by knowing Him we should believe in, trust/hope in, and ultimately and most importantly, to love Him. And love, when complete and perfected, “casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The more we know God the more we love Him; it cannot be helped; He’s sheer, unbridled goodness itself. He’s the ultimate Good, that we choose over evil.Taken to its extreme, to fail to know and love God is hell, while to know and love Him is heaven. And, “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.“ John 17:3

We all start out with a “distorted image” of God, as the catechism teaches that Adam conceived of at the Fall. This image is of a God who’s “jealous of His prerogatives” a God who’s drug down to our level, whimsical, perhaps, but distant, angry, and aloof in His superiority, the “god” that humans play whenever we abuse power and authority over others in some manner. But that’s not the true God and enmity came from man, not Him-He only desires the very best for us. But there’s a part of us that doesn’t even want to know Him, preferring ourselves to Him as the catechism teaches that Adam did. This is the essence of pride, believing that we know better than God and that freedom from Him might net us a better and fuller, more glorious and happier existence. Adam basically dismissed and lost the “knowledge of God” by becoming his own “god” for all practical purposes. Jesus came to restore that very knowledge as the time became ripe, when man might finally be more malleable, more humble and receptive of the light, to the truth about himself and His Creator after spending time in a world effectively exiled from Him, with all that exile means and entails. Part of the problem is just getting past ourselves, the main obstacle. The Church teaches that, at the Fall, man became divided in some manner from God, from his fellow man, from the rest of creation, and from himself.

At the end of the day our very purpose is fulfilled and our perfection attained to the extent that we’re bound to God (CCC 1732), as we come to freely love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, fulfilling the greatest commandment. This is all a tall order though, impossible on our own, without grace. But that’s the point, “with God all things are possible“ (Matt 19:26). That’s why we need a Savior. ”Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Anyway, I appreciate the words of Basil of Caesarea, a 4th century bishop, as they apply here,

“If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages, . . . we resemble mercenaries. Finally if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for him who commands . . . we are in the position of children.”
 
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Filial fear is actually being afraid of insulting or hurting your beloved father (and mother). This you understand, right? The fear of doing bad things to a person you love. Well, God is the most loveable being there is.

Besides, in time, you will love Him for creating hell for those who reject Him. It is due to His perfect Justice, which is also motive to love Him.
 
That’s the problem: I don’t see Him as lovable, but fearful. Also, the whole “we’re going to rejoice in the justice of people’s eternal torments” is one of the reasons I don’t find Him to be lovable, but only fearful.
 
Maybe you don’t find Him loveable because you are not fully aware of all He has being doing for you since your conception.

Regarding hell, it is actually a place created by God where people choose by themselves to end up there. It is actually a good thing He doesn’t force anyone to love Him.

Lastly, I don’t know whether you are a Catholic. If you are, start praying for the supernatural grace of Charity. The Holy Spirit will slowly make things clear to you.
 
I’ve been reading a lot about the differences between servile and filial fear. It’s presented a problem for me: I understand the difference between the two, but I do not think I have the ability or desire to move from one to the other. I’ve only ever known servile fear of the Lord because He is our Judge. In my mind, the “negative” aspects of our relationship to God (hell and judgment) darken the “positive” aspects, thus loving God makes very little sense to me, but fear does make a lot of sense.

How do you come to love God even in light of hell?
The move from servile to filial fear is not an act that we can choose or not choose to do. It is the difference a child of God experiences when he begins to experience the reality of the life of God within him. And this experience, this reality, is a characteristic of a certain development, or maturation, in one’s interior life. One’s interior life is the developing of the life of grace in the soul. Grace is a human participation in the (supernatural, divine) life of God Himself.

In other words, the movement from servile to filial fear (which comes typically gradually, in degrees) is the movement from knowing about God, to knowing Him and knowing His knowing of us: I am His child; He is my Father.
 
That’s the problem: I don’t see Him as lovable, but fearful. Also, the whole “we’re going to rejoice in the justice of people’s eternal torments” is one of the reasons I don’t find Him to be lovable, but only fearful.
God, for His part, desires none to perish. And realize that it was God on the cross suffering an excruciatingly humiliating and painful passion and death in human flesh just to show the extent He’d go to in order to prove a goodness and trustworthiness and love so deep and vast that nothing could stop it in the end, which the resurrection then confirms in no uncertain terms while also demonstrating the truth of eternal life, His will for us.

He won’t force that kind of love on us though. Hell is simply our option, if we prefer darkness to light, cold selfish pride to love. Read 1 Cor 4-8 if you want to begin to get an idea of the nature of God. Most of the real ugliness that we experience in this world Is due to moral evil, aka sin, to men’s choices IOW.
 
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Did you have a good relationship with your own father? If you did, then you can picture God being like your dad.
People who had absent, cold or abusive fathers often have a harder time accepting a loving God, especially if they were not raised from early childhood to see God as a loving figure.

If it helps to focus more on Jesus, who is definitely a loving figure as shown in the Gospels, then you can do that. He’s God also.

I know this might sound silly, but do you involve God/ Jesus in your daily life? Have conversations with him? Invite him to have lunch with you? Behave towards him like he’s a beloved member of your family?
 
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I’ve been reading a lot about the differences between servile and filial fear. It’s presented a problem for me: I understand the difference between the two, but I do not think I have the ability or desire to move from one to the other. I’ve only ever known servile fear of the Lord because He is our Judge. In my mind, the “negative” aspects of our relationship to God (hell and judgment) darken the “positive” aspects, thus loving God makes very little sense to me, but fear does make a lot of sense.

How do you come to love God even in light of hell?
What helped me a lot was getting used to the idea that God doesn’t desire hell for anybody; that it is literally something I can do to myself but apart from that God is on my side no matter what.
 
I have heard this before too. I have a great dad and a good relationship with him, but he also wouldn’t send me to hell no matter what I do. I understand the common saying today is that God doesn’t send us to hell, but that we send ourselves, but scripture seems pretty clear that God sends us away and that He wills our continued, tortured existence.
 
Christ says in Jn 14:15; “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” The Dicache Bible commentary, notes that love isn’t just words or feelings but real love shows itself in our actions and the commands to which Christ refers comprise the entire Gospel message.
Cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church sections 2068, and 2074-2075.
 
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Didn’t your parents teach you that God loved you and all children?

I’m genuinely baffled as to how someone who had a good family life can find God scary unless he was presented to you in a scary way.

Of course, I’ve sometimes been accused of lacking “holy fear” of God.

I see God as maybe like 90 percent loving…the other 10 percent is reserved for those who deserve his wrath. And it takes a lot to get God that mad.
 
Well, I did have an aunt who is fundamentalist and we had bible studies. My family attended weekly and my mother did not threaten us with hell. My Dad is fantastic, but the big difference is that he wouldn’t consign me to hell.

I came to these conclusions all on my own; despite explanations to the contrary, I really do think that the existence of hell really makes it hard to fully accept the goodness. This is especially hardened by my acceptance of a theological thread that doesn’t accept that hell is the result of free will choice.
 
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This is especially hardened by my acceptance of a theological thread that doesn’t accept that hell is the result of free will choice.
Well, that’s a problem, but it’s a problem in your own mind, because the Church teaches that hell is the result of people’s free will choice. And the Church teaches truth.

So, I guess I will pray that you manage to amend your thinking so you can perceive Hell correctly.

God loves us all and does not want to send anyone to Hell. Otherwise he wouldn’t have even bothered sending his Son to suffer and die to save those of us who’d accept it. He’d probably just have said, eh, so many will reject my Son anyway, let’s skip the whole thing and I’ll just send everybody to hell.
 
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How do you come to love God even in light of hell?
Because I know that’s not what He wants for me.

Let’s say you were hungry & decided to make a pot of rice. A kid comes into the kitchen & you say, “don’t touch the pot of rice.” Do you want the kid to have 3rd degree burns on his hands & arms?

Of course not, you want a bowl of rice.

Similarly, God wants you to be like Him. To freely choose what is right. Unfortunately, a lot of people choosing wrong is hell.

& it’s not a selfish ego thing with God. For you to choose God you must choose to serve your neighbor in love.
 
I have a great dad and a good relationship with him, but he also wouldn’t send me to hell no matter what I do.
I’m sure your dad has put you on timeout or given you a snack upside the head.

If you go to far he even can disown you.

That is a result of your behavior.
 
I’ve been reading a lot about the differences between servile and filial fear.
For starters, I do not refer to the issue as one of “fear” but rather, one of awe.
How do you come to love God even in light of hell?
This sounds like a question of “GOd might send me to hell”.

God does not “send” people to hell; they choose it, and their choice is consistent and obstinate. Hell is the absence of God, and the absence of Good. People who go to hell are not “caught”, nor did they make a “mistake”. A mistake is wearing a polka dot tie with a stripped shirt. People make choices; I or Thou to put it in terms Martin Buber might use.

One can choose to be self-centered or to be other directed. Sin is choosing self over other; it is not a mistake but a choice.

And God so loves us, he will allow us to make that choice. No force, no fear, no violation of our free will.
 
If so the proper reason can only be love, not fear, to the extent that we’ve arrived at the purpose and perfection God desires of us.
 
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