Music at Funeral service

  • Thread starter Thread starter BettyL828
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

BettyL828

Guest
We have funeral service tomorrow. The family has struggled with planning the funeral with our priest. The man who died is not Catholic, his wife is Catholic. She wanted a Mass for him. Fr. Said yes, then suggested a Mass was not appropriate for the deceased. However, in the meantime, the family chose music. I am the musician. They had 4 songs picked. Now that Fr. says no Mass, he has also said only 2 songs allowed. One of the songs was the grandchildren singing “Jesus loves Me.” I talked him into allowing that one right after we process in. However, he will not allow another song during the service. We can do 2 at the end. However, the family will be processing out of the church. I asked if we could do one after the homily as a meditation. He said no. I asked another priest and he said there is no reason why we can’t do a song after the homily. Any suggestions?
 
If you have only 2 songs allowed maybe one could be Amazing Grace.
 
Will the priest let you do a song as a pre-service meditation, before everyone files in?

Will the other priest who is okay with the song be able to just handle this service?

If neither of those work, then it sounds like one song is going to have to go.

The Catholic service for a non-Catholic, at least the one that I’m familiar with, is on the short side. It seems like a lot of music for just a short service.
 
I think you need to do whatever the priest that is doing the service says and not go asking another one his opinion.
 
The funeral is done. We had a service, no Mass. I just want to explain that our priest has been in our parish for 3 years. He prefers to sit in his office on Facebook rather than visit the sick and dying. So when I go to another priest or come on here for guidance it’s not because I am being a brat and trying to get my way. I’m trying to help minister to the people in my church, because my priest is not doing it. The families dad died and the person who should have been bringing them comfort and hope, chose to point out that they are a bunch of fallen away Catholics and why would they want to bother with a Mass. I was looking for liturgical guidelines. We were able to have all the music and service was nice. Please pray for my priest.
 
I’m sorry that you seem to be having trouble with your priest.
I will certainly pray for him and you.
He may well be struggling with personal issues, or with parish issues he is not publicizing. Or, he might just not be a “people person”.

I’m glad the family of the deceased was able to have all the songs that were important to them.

As someone who had to bury a non-Catholic husband, I know there are reasons why the Church might not want to have Mass and sometimes it’s difficult for a priest to explain this and people get upset and quote the priest as saying things he did not necessarily say.
 
Last edited:
While I sympathize with your situation, if indeed the priest is preferring to be on FB, part of that may be that people who are stepping up for him are enabling.that behavior.

From my perspective, if you have a parish where Father is not ‘doing his duty’, you usually have a solid number of people who know it. Those people might leave, or curtail their visits until needed (I.e. funeral).

If they approach the priest and are treated poorly, they might approach the bishop, and if this happens often enough the bishop might speak to the priest —who might be extremely surprised at how much time he surfs the net and what he should be doing instead.

It is a very difficult situation for everybody, and I’m glad actually that it worked out for the people, but it might be worthwhile to approach the priest (respectfully as always) and state your concerns. Provided you make them I statements, “I was worried about the way people might have felt with hearing X” and not, “YOU made them feel bad”, it at least might get him thinking.
 
BettyL828 said:
I’m trying to help minister to the people in my church, because my priest is not doing it.
Click to expand...
Then that is a conversation to have with the priest first, then the dean of the deanery, then the vicar of clergy.

The faithful have a right to make their needs known.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top