Must a married couple attempt to have children?

[Le_Cracquere]

In the Catholic Church, a married couple must be open to having children as God sends them. The validity of the marriage is called into question if one or both of the parties (in direct contradiction to their marriage vows) enters into the marriage with the intention of not being open to life.

I notice your profile says you aren’t Catholic? In addition to reading the rest of this thread, here’s some articles from the CA website that might help you understand what the Church believes about marriage:

The Purpose of Marriage.

What’s Wrong with Contraception, Anyway?

Birth Control

I appreciate the links! Don’t wish to be an ingrate, but I must confess they don’t do much to set my mind at rest. The Q&A apologetics are known to me, but whether it’s my fault or theirs, it’s always struck me as uncompelling stuff.

The historical quotes only strengthen my darkest occasional suspicions–that the Church considers love between a man & woman a gaucherie that the best people don’t want to engage in, and that their spiritual lessers can only partially excuse by putting it wholly at the service of whelping.

So the Catholic answer to my earlier question seems to be boiling down to “yes.” Shall I tell the wife, or you?

 

[ac_claire]

I appreciate the links! Don’t wish to be an ingrate, but I must confess they don’t do much to set my mind at rest. The Q&A apologetics are known to me, but whether it’s my fault or theirs, it’s always struck me as uncompelling stuff.

Ahh ok. Sorry about the Q&A then. I actually posted that on purpose because I personally find Q&A-type articles a little easier to read. You don’t have to dig in to a big chunk of text, you know?

The historical quotes only strengthen my darkest occasional suspicions–that the Church considers love between a man & woman a gaucherie that the best people don’t want to engage in, and that their spiritual lessers can only partially excuse by putting it wholly at the service of whelping.

Bear in mind that this isn’t true-- this is your interpretation, which is admittedly prejudiced.

On the contrary…because of the Incarnation, the Church actually elevates the love between man and woman up to the level of God Himself, where it mirrors His own love. There’s no greater dignity that a human couple can have, than to participate in the same creative, life-giving love that God has for all of creation.

Since you said the links I posted confirm what you already suspected, I’d suggest maybe doing some more of your own research with more of an open mind. Maybe a beginners book or website on the Theology of the Body would be a good place to start.

So the Catholic answer to my earlier question seems to be boiling down to “yes.” Shall I tell the wife, or you?

Well, I think that actually accepting and believing the teaching would come first. After that, whatever you do with the information is up to you.

 

[dans0622]

Okay, now I’m confused. My wife doesn’t like children, and never has. I don’t like children, and never have. Are you saying that we’re not actually married now?

Hello Le Cracquere,

“Liking” doesn’t really enter into the question, since it is difficult to quantify and judge. Consent makes marriage. If someone doesn’t actually consent to marriage (as the Catholic Church understands it), but actively consents to something else, then, obviously, the Catholic Church/Catholics would not consider the persons to be married.

Nobody on this forum can definitively say “you are not actually married.” Of course, we can all offer an opinion, based on the (limited) information we have.

Thanks for your time.

Dan

 

[taben]

We were taught, by our Priest in pre-marital counseling, that couples should be open to having as many children as they could truly love and care and provide for. This could be 0, this could be more than 10!

I remember him saying that each couple had to pray on this. Because of physical or mental issues, some couples may feel unable to care for a child and feel called to do other things (elder care, physical work, etc.) that will bring Glory to God. He relayed a story of a woman who was severely bi-polar and whose spouse was overwhelmed with that. They had a loving, productive, NON self centered life of service but did not have children. They avoided it via NFP.
Others will feel truly capably of a boat load.

That was his teaching.

 

[larkin31]

We were taught, by our Priest in pre-marital counseling, that couples should be open to having as many children as they could truly love and care and provide for. This could be 0, this could be more than 10!

I remember him saying that each couple had to pray on this. Because of physical or mental issues, some couples may feel unable to care for a child and feel called to do other things (elder care, physical work, etc.) that will bring Glory to God. He relayed a story of a woman who was severely bi-polar and whose spouse was overwhelmed with that. They had a loving, productive, NON self centered life of service but did not have children. They avoided it via NFP.
Others will feel truly capably of a boat load.

That was his teaching.

That sounds pretty reasonable, too.

 

[LilyM]

Do you believe that God has a hand in or some control over whether sperm successfully penetrate the ova of humans?

Some control, yes. Of course human beings also have free-will, so they can try (and sometimes succeed) wilfully and sinfully frustrate His plans in this regard. They can, as Adam from Mythbusters would put it, ‘reject His reality and substitute their own’.

Problem being God’s reality IS reality, human perception of its own reality apart from God is hardly real at all, being always a partial perception only, and always biased.

 

[larkin31]

Some control, yes. Of course human beings also have free-will, so they can try (and sometimes succeed) wilfully and sinfully frustrate His plans in this regard. They can, as Adam from Mythbusters would put it, ‘reject His reality and substitute their own’.

Problem being God’s reality IS reality, human perception of its own reality apart from God is hardly real at all, being always a partial perception only, and always biased.

I meant more, Does God assist or deter the sperm from reaching and penetrating the egg?

 

[ac_claire]

I meant more, Does God assist or deter the sperm from reaching and penetrating the egg?

I would say yes, but only in the sense that God has a hand in *everything *in the world. Everything happens at His pleasure, basically. Beyond that, I don’t think there’s any way we can know exactly how He interferes in individual situations.

Free will does come into it as Lily mentioned, because the sperm and the egg are even on the right path at the right (or wrong) time for conception based on the free actions/choices of the man and woman.

 

[larkin31]

I would say yes, but only in the sense that God has a hand in *everything *in the world. Everything happens at His pleasure, basically…

what does “at His pleasure” mean?

 

[ac_claire]

what does “at His pleasure” mean?

That’s just a saying, indicating the power and omnicience of God. Basically it means that since God created absolutely everything and knows everything, nothing can exist in the world outside of His will.