Must seek an annulment to enter the Church?

[Lampo]

My step-mother is wanting to enter into the Catholic Church. She met with her local priest yesterday afternoon and was told that she should would need to go through RCIA and that she would need an annulment from her previous marriage. The only thing I could think of is that the priest is coming from the angle that her current marriage to my father is non-sacramental.

My dad is Catholic. I told my dad last night why I thought the priest said what he did. I then asked him if they married in the Catholic Church, got a dispensation, convalidation or if my step-mother got an annulment from her previous marriage before her and my dad married. He said no to all of the above. I told him that probably the Church doesn’t recognize their marriage as sacramental and therefore that’s the reason she would need an annulment before entering into the Catholic Church.

Any help, suggestions and/or resources would greatly help. I told my dad I would investigate their situation and get back with him.

 

[1ke]

Your stepmother’s marriage to your father is invalid. It is invalid for several reasons, the first being that she is already married.

Therefore, they are both objectively in a state of mortal sin. One cannot receive ANY Sacrament in a state of mortal sin. She must rectify her marriage situation before she can receive the Sacraments of Intitiation.

This will be a two part process:

(1) Petition for a decree of nullity regarding her first marriage.

(2) Convalidate her current marriage if a nullity decree is issued.

If a nullity decree is NOT issued, meaning her first marriage is found to be valid, then she cannot enter the Church as long as she lives in a sexual relationship with your father.

Now, since you refer to her as your step-mother, I presume your father was married before as well. He would ALSO need to petition for a decree of nullity for that marriage. Again, if it is granted, they can convalidate. If not, they must separate-- or with permission of the priest they can live chastely but remain together… for example if there are young children involved.

The reason she cannot enter the Church until all this is sorted out should be evident. They are both in a serious state of sin, and will have to make hard choices should their prior marriage be determined valid.

They should speak to a priest as soon as possible.

I also recommend they obtain a copy of the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster. It will really help them understand the marriage and nullity teachings of the Church.

 

[Lampo]

Thank you 1ke. I have a sense my dad has somewhat of an idea of everything you mentioned. I believe that my dad believes he is living in a state of grace because he confessed the sins of this situation that you mentioned and was given absolution. Is he correct in his thinking?

 

[1ke]

I believe that my dad believes he is living in a state of grace because he confessed the sins of this situation that you mentioned and was given absolution. Is he correct in his thinking?

No he is not correct.

Absolution requires firm purpose of ammendment not to do the sin again. He is continuing to sin by virtue of remaining in a sexual relationship and an invalid marriage.

If he were to confess and then remain chaste, then he could return to the Sacraments.

He should discuss it with his priest.

 

[dianaballein]

My step-mother is wanting to enter into the Catholic Church. She met with her local priest yesterday afternoon and was told that she should would need to go through RCIA and that she would need an annulment from her previous marriage. The only thing I could think of is that the priest is coming from the angle that her current marriage to my father is non-sacramental.

My dad is Catholic. I told my dad last night why I thought the priest said what he did. I then asked him if they married in the Catholic Church, got a dispensation, convalidation or if my step-mother got an annulment from her previous marriage before her and my dad married. He said no to all of the above. I told him that probably the Church doesn’t recognize their marriage as sacramental and therefore that’s the reason she would need an annulment before entering into the Catholic Church.

Any help, suggestions and/or resources would greatly help. I told my dad I would investigate their situation and get back with him.

I know this is an older posting, but I just ran across it. I, too, am in the position of needing to obtain an annulment from my first spouse in order to become a Catholic. The reason for this, as I am sure others have already shared, is that the Catholic Church believes marriage is one time and one time only. You can get a legal, government sanctioned divorce, but you are not divorced in the eyes of God. To remarry someone else without an annulment makes you an adulterer, the new spouse an adulterer, and even your ex-spouse an adulterer. This was all news to me and it took me as a shock at first, but now I am understanding it.

I was also concerned about the “what ifs” of my first husband not signing the annulment papers. It was explained to me that he would be treated as a hostile respondant if that happened, and the annulment would be granted based on its own merit then.

No one said this path was going to be easily travelled, after all.