P
pileggi
Guest
Commandment to honour your father and mother.
In the case of an emotionally and verbally abusive father, who is emotionally and psychologically damaging my mother and sister, is it a sin to restrain him?
He verbally and emotionally abuses my mother and sister, saying terrible things to them, insulting them, constantly putting them down, swearing at them, screaming at them. (I don’t get this as much since after I got to be 12 I stopped talking to him if I could avoid it)
We’ve tried for years, to reason with him, to painstakingly calm him, to get him to go to therapy (my mom,sister and I have gone for counselling on many occasions, but he refuses). All methods have failed, and I mean ALL. Prayer, leading by example, calm discussion, logic and reason. Nothing works. Its as though you’re talking to a mad-man, whose view of the world is completely skewed and warped, and therefore can’t follow logic and reason.
I restrained my father, by putting one arm behind his back so he couldn’t move without paining himself, until he calmed down. This method seemed to work, because as long as he couldn’t move, he had to wait until he calmed down to be released. I told him if he ever swore, screamed, or verbally abused my mother or sister I would immediately do that to him.
After that, he stopped for a couple months, and was peaceful,calm and generally pleasant… but also a lot more reserved.
He started becoming more aggresive and short tempered again , until he was verbally abusing my mother again very badly. I rushed down from my room and put him in a old, until he calmed down. (mind you, this is not me snapping and going nuts on him. its cold, calculated and planned) As I go back inside, because he’s calmed down, as SOON as I step in the door, he starts screaming and swearing even MORE at my mother. I run back outside and put him in a lock again. He’s so furious that he breaks out of it (and my mother is also trying to get me to stop… She’s very foolish… but perhaps she has no one else but my dad…)
He says he’s going to kill me, and grabs a rake, and says that its over and I’m going to die today.
I grab a broom, in self defence-as I have no wish to die. After some circling, and some local teens walking by getting involved and convincing my dad to calm down, my mother calls the police because she’s afraid for our lives (my fathers and mine, and what we might do to each other)
The police officer arrives, and I am under consideration for assault on my father. (because I put him in the hold)
My parents talk to the police first, and although my father spews lies, my mother keeps the story pretty much straight. (i stood around the corner listening)
When the police talk to me, somehow they know that I’m very involved in my church and my christian religion. The police officer preaches to me that according to the commandments, me doing that was not honouring my father, and therefore a mortal sin. My defence was that I was protecting my mother and sister. (my sister has cried to me at night, begging me not to leave her in this house with them when I leave for university in the upcoming fall)
In such a case, where my father is doing evil things… is standing up to him, in the last and only possible way, really a mortal sin?
The officer preached Jesus’ story of “turn the other cheek” to me, as well.
(For those of you that don’t know this, that story is not mean to be taken literally. Catholic’s do not interpret and read the bible in a completely literal sense, therefore that sole passage should not be read in a complete literal sense. Unusual that most people interpret the bible allegorically on the whole, except in that specific case)
In the case of an emotionally and verbally abusive father, who is emotionally and psychologically damaging my mother and sister, is it a sin to restrain him?
He verbally and emotionally abuses my mother and sister, saying terrible things to them, insulting them, constantly putting them down, swearing at them, screaming at them. (I don’t get this as much since after I got to be 12 I stopped talking to him if I could avoid it)
We’ve tried for years, to reason with him, to painstakingly calm him, to get him to go to therapy (my mom,sister and I have gone for counselling on many occasions, but he refuses). All methods have failed, and I mean ALL. Prayer, leading by example, calm discussion, logic and reason. Nothing works. Its as though you’re talking to a mad-man, whose view of the world is completely skewed and warped, and therefore can’t follow logic and reason.
I restrained my father, by putting one arm behind his back so he couldn’t move without paining himself, until he calmed down. This method seemed to work, because as long as he couldn’t move, he had to wait until he calmed down to be released. I told him if he ever swore, screamed, or verbally abused my mother or sister I would immediately do that to him.
After that, he stopped for a couple months, and was peaceful,calm and generally pleasant… but also a lot more reserved.
He started becoming more aggresive and short tempered again , until he was verbally abusing my mother again very badly. I rushed down from my room and put him in a old, until he calmed down. (mind you, this is not me snapping and going nuts on him. its cold, calculated and planned) As I go back inside, because he’s calmed down, as SOON as I step in the door, he starts screaming and swearing even MORE at my mother. I run back outside and put him in a lock again. He’s so furious that he breaks out of it (and my mother is also trying to get me to stop… She’s very foolish… but perhaps she has no one else but my dad…)
He says he’s going to kill me, and grabs a rake, and says that its over and I’m going to die today.
I grab a broom, in self defence-as I have no wish to die. After some circling, and some local teens walking by getting involved and convincing my dad to calm down, my mother calls the police because she’s afraid for our lives (my fathers and mine, and what we might do to each other)
The police officer arrives, and I am under consideration for assault on my father. (because I put him in the hold)
My parents talk to the police first, and although my father spews lies, my mother keeps the story pretty much straight. (i stood around the corner listening)
When the police talk to me, somehow they know that I’m very involved in my church and my christian religion. The police officer preaches to me that according to the commandments, me doing that was not honouring my father, and therefore a mortal sin. My defence was that I was protecting my mother and sister. (my sister has cried to me at night, begging me not to leave her in this house with them when I leave for university in the upcoming fall)
In such a case, where my father is doing evil things… is standing up to him, in the last and only possible way, really a mortal sin?
The officer preached Jesus’ story of “turn the other cheek” to me, as well.
(For those of you that don’t know this, that story is not mean to be taken literally. Catholic’s do not interpret and read the bible in a completely literal sense, therefore that sole passage should not be read in a complete literal sense. Unusual that most people interpret the bible allegorically on the whole, except in that specific case)
You*** were ***honouring your mother, and in a sense honouring your father as you were trying to stop him dishonouring his wife! I think you are a loving, caring and protective daughter. I don’t know if i could have controlled myself as you did. 
Your mum’s lucky to have you!