My 11 year old son 'playing' with himself

[SusanneT]

I’m having the same issue with my 10 yo daughter (see post up above). I’ve caught my 8 yo son playing with himself too, once in a while. I totally understand trying to help your child with the impulse to do that so it doesn’t become a habit. Just want you to know that you’re not alone.

Can I say how helpfull it is to know that we are not the only parents who take this issue seriously and believe we should act to do all we can to keep our children from straying down this path.

If I read another “it’s natural” article I think I’ll scream ! Arguably everything children do is natural at some level but we teach them to control what is “natural” to become better people and God willing to know right from sinful. Of course young children are curious etc etc but masturbation is a sin which many men and some women struggle against and anything we can do as parents to help our children from not falling pray to this and all the other ‘sexual’ sins that follow must be good and we should not be afraid or made to feel guilty for trying.

 

[daisybee]

OP, Catholic writers and speakers Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak have a book that seems to be very much in line with the issues you are raising here–including having age appropriate conversations. The title is: Beyond the Birds and the Bees (Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids) - link is here: ascensionpress.com/products/beyond-the-birds-and-the-bees-raising-sexually-whole-and-holy-kids

Catholic writer and speaker Colleen Kelly Mast also has a good collection of resources that can be used for opening up lines of communication with one’s sons and daughters: sexrespect.com/books.html

 

[Eugene]

daisybee

Thank you very much for the recommended literature. I will certainly investigate and discuss with my wife.

Blessings and regards.

 

[lifeandhope]

I believe many parents wait to have the birds & need discussion more because of their own discomfort. I have two daughters, 8 and 11, and we talk about sex and the issues involved when they come up. As a parent and a psychotherapist I know that a child’s first exposure to sexuality will leave the strongest impression. Therefore, a parent will want to be the one to give the child correct and appropriate information about both the mechanics and the morality aspects. Use the real terms for body parts and such. Don’t have ‘the talk’ and think you’re done. This must be an ongoing topic of discussion as the child approaches different phases in his or her life. Unfortunately, I have had to discuss sexuality fairly regularly, as we have had to, with gay marriage and Brucelyn Jenner is all over TV, internet, magazine covers. Our society is entrenched in valuing girls and women based on their weight, appearance, sexual appeal, and so on. The messages that are blasted at us will not go away and even if you think your kid doesn’t know about sex and sexuality, you’d be surprised. It is critical that you, as a parent, guide and teach your child by giving correct information, discussing society’s portrayal of sex versus the Catholic perspective, and keep the lines of communication open for future discussions. There are some good books that can help you navigate these discussions at age appropriate levels. I hope this helps and I wish you and your family the best. Isn’t parenting challenging?! Remember, YOU want to be the one to give your child the correct information so when he is exposed to other messages and differing values, he ALREADY HAS good information and will thus stand a much better chance of having a holy snd fulfilling life.

 

[Patavium]

I believe many parents wait to have the birds & need discussion more because of their own discomfort. I have two daughters, 8 and 11, and we talk about sex and the issues involved when they come up. As a parent and a psychotherapist I know that a child’s first exposure to sexuality will leave the strongest impression. Therefore, a parent will want to be the one to give the child correct and appropriate information about both the mechanics and the morality aspects. Use the real terms for body parts and such. Don’t have ‘the talk’ and think you’re done. This must be an ongoing topic of discussion as the child approaches different phases in his or her life. Unfortunately, I have had to discuss sexuality fairly regularly, as we have had to, with gay marriage and Brucelyn Jenner is all over TV, internet, magazine covers. Our society is entrenched in valuing girls and women based on their weight, appearance, sexual appeal, and so on. The messages that are blasted at us will not go away and even if you think your kid doesn’t know about sex and sexuality, you’d be surprised. It is critical that you, as a parent, guide and teach your child by giving correct information, discussing society’s portrayal of sex versus the Catholic perspective, and keep the lines of communication open for future discussions. There are some good books that can help you navigate these discussions at age appropriate levels. I hope this helps and I wish you and your family the best. Isn’t parenting challenging?! Remember, YOU want to be the one to give your child the correct information so when he is exposed to other messages and differing values, he ALREADY HAS good information and will thus stand a much better chance of having a holy snd fulfilling life.

Great post. Thanks

 

[SilverLight]

Girls and boys of that age do that sometimes yes. I don’t think its a problem personaly and my parents never told me it’s wrong.