My 16 year old sister

[Sagefrakrobatik]

I am in acquired situation i need some advice. I have a sister who i suspect is doing things with boys i might not want to admit. Today she was constantly looking at herself in the mirror a couple of times she asked me if she looked fat. About an hour ago this guy from down the street came by to pick her up (he is about 20 by the way maybe older) to take her over to her ex boyfriend’s house Jeremy. She finally returned and i confronted her wanting to know where she has gone. I didnt want to say it but it did. I told her i didnt want her to be having sex with these guys. I told her it would hurt me if i found out she was. She replied back your just jealous and that i dont have to worry about anything. She left a second time to go over some guy named Doug’s house. Should i be worried.

Its bad enough i try to get my self thinking about other things besides woman and sex let alone worrying about my 16 year old sister any advice?

 

[Marian84]

Ok, a girl looking in the mirror and asking her brother if she looks fat–well, that’s just a typical girl thing–I ought to know . (And, I might add, the typical brother response usually leads to some name-calling )

So if her asking you if she looks fat is the biggest flag you can see of indecent behavior up to now, then I wouldn’t worry too much. On the other hand, she sounds a little young to be hanging out with so many older guys. What about your parents? Do they (or you) know these boys?

 

[Toni]

Lets see a 20 year old guy and a 16 year old girl? HMMM sounds like one thing to me. Yes you should be concerned. Tell her how much you and your family love her and want whats best for her. The danger so stds today is very much a reality. If this does not work I would talk to your parents.

 

[supplex]

Your parents should be aware of her behavior and put a stop to it. Sure, she will scream, but it shows her that they care. She can thank them when she’s 30. A 16 year old has no business with a 20 year old - for any reason.

Try to spend more time with your sister. Encourage her to spend time with you and do some things together that she enjoys - movies, shopping, etc. You can be a compassionate listener and a good role model for her.

I will keep you and your sister in my prayers.

 

[Sagefrakrobatik]

Thanx for the insight. I would love to spend sometime with her but when she comes home for the weekend (she lives with my aunt and goes to school in here area) she constantly worried about whats going on with her friends she kind of push’s me aside. I m going to beg my sister to hang out with me. Heck i told her i would pay her 40$ to come to church with me. Its just that i dont feel my sister necessarily makes the right decisions. Yesterday For example i found out she spent the night over some guys house In another neighborhood. She told my mom that she fell asleep and forgot. When i came home two guys in a car drop her off a few houses from our house almost as if she didnt want my mom to find out. I will try to spend some more time with her if she lets me. Because i live at home with my mom and my mom works 30-40 hrs a week i dont have the time nor the patience to be her babysiter.

 

[Siena]

Sagefrakrobatik:

i found out she spent the night over some guys house In another neighborhood. She told my mom that she fell asleep and forgot. .

Oh yea, she is having sex. This was the excuse I used with my bf. The dropping her off down the street is a red flag too.

Write her a letter, tell her you will be praying for her. She is loved and respected by Jesus in a way that these boys will never love and respect her. Tell her you love her, no matter what.

Perhaps you can give her some info on std’s, etc

You are the younger brother. You can’t stop her. Do tell your mom the things you know about what she is doing, maybe she can set some limits.

-CAN SOMEONE SUGGEST A GOOD BOOK FOR THE OP TO GIVE HIS SISTER???-

 

[mattrue]

“the good news about sex and marriage” by Christopher west, they talk about chastity inside and outside of marriage in an easy Q and A format. Good Luck and God Bless

 

[Sagefrakrobatik]

Siena:

Oh yea, she is having sex. This was the excuse I used with my bf. The dropping her off down the street is a red flag to

You are the younger brother. You can’t stop her. Do tell your mom the things you know about what she is doing, maybe she can set some limits.

-CAN SOMEONE SUGGEST A GOOD BOOK FOR THE OP TO GIVE HIS SISTER???-

first she vehemently denies the claim that she is doing anything with any guys for right now im going to pretend she is telling the truth so i dont let my imagination get the best of me and i go insane

secondly i am her older brother by about 6 years

 

[tamccrackine]

www.pureloveclub.com looks like a good start for either advice for you or your sister.

www.webmd.com is a good source of the STD’s and I’d suggest googling some pictures to show her what those STD’s can do and/or leave for your sister in the future. And if she’s this free into sex, she’s obviously on birth control and abortion isn’t too far behind because sooner or later, birth control is going to fail. Sorry to sound so negative, but warning flags are going up in my mind about her.

have you talked to your Aunt about this behavior? Your sister must be very lost and if she gets angry at you about your questioning her… please don’t take it personally and KEEP ON IT. She’s scream and rant and rave, but it seems like she’s crying out for attention and help but going about it the wrong way.

I’ll keep you in my prayers as it’s going to be tough. My sister (who is two years older than me) used to sneak out of the house and ask me to close the window for her. I got sick of it one night and yes, I helped her leave, I closed the window for her and then locked it. She is now 32 and starting to realize that the poor choices she made as a young teen leaves her feeling empty and unable to have a proper relationship. Now she has a 12 year old daughter that I’m praying with all my heart and being that DOESN’T go down that road.