My 19 YO Brother

[Mattjolley]

I’m 21 and came back to a full sacramental life in the church just over a year ago, after falling away through high school. Now i regularly go to confession and mass every sunday. My parents were never the most religious (aside from getting me baptised and into catholic schools) and it was mainly thanks to my mum’s parents (my grandparents) that I developed a love for the church at a very young age, they took me every sunday of the weekends I stayed with them, so its always been with me really.

Anyway, following this little bit of a background, to my main point. Ive got a brother who’s 19 and it pains me to see him deprived of the church and the fulless of life in Christ. He refused confirmation when his school year went through it and this really upset my mother at the time (when i said she’s not very religious before, she is, due to coming from a family with 6 siblings and the aforementioned influence of my grandparents, but never gets time to go to mass since she works night shifts as a nurse. Now she goes to mass whenever she can with my Nan since my grandad passed away in january, so it’s good to see at least 1 part of my family coming home.

Anyway, what can I do at all to help bring my brother back to the church? I assume he’d need to apply for confirmation by speaking to my Priest, but I mean on a personal level, what can I do to win him over? Theres no way he’d come to mass with me if I asked, he’s never been the religious type!

I’m off to the cathedral tomorrow to make my confession, maybe I could take him to soak up the atmosphere. He could even maybe make a confession and come back to full communion?

I assume he could since he made all the ‘first’ sacraments (baptism, confession, communion) other than confirmation. I’m just at a loss as to how I could win him back, he’s never been that passionate about church or his faith, should I just accept he can’t be brought home?

Matt

PS Sorry for the loooong post!

 

[FCEGM]

Matt, go gently with him, but do keep inviting him to go with you to the cathedral or to other Catholic-sponsored events. If you are close, despite your religious differences, then him seeing your example will be a great motivation for him to seriously consider following in your footsteps as you follow in Our Lord’s. If he likes to read, then some good introductory Catholic books or apologetic magazines (such as THIS ROCK) could be left obtrusively around for him to pick up.

God bless you for your brotherly concern. I know you will not cease praying for him; it will be the Holy Spirit Who will be the One to finally reach your brother’s heart.

(And your post wasn’t long at all. )

 

[Fidelis]

The age of nineteen or so (especially for males) is typically a time of rebellion, questioning, and striving to assert one’s individuality. Consequently, it is my experience that not many conversions/reversions are made at this age.

The three best things you can do for him at this age is be a good example, pray for him and look for opportunities to answer his questions as the Spirit gives you opportunity. He may challenge or pooh-pooh everything you say at this point, but don’t give in to feelings of futility. As long as you are praying for him (and you remain charitable!) you’ll be planting seeds which God’s grace will work on until he is ready.

Maybe your brother will come around earlier rather than later, but typically folks don’t seriously consider the deeper issues of their own mortality, eternity, the problem of evil, or moral issues until they have matured some – usually when they start having their own children or there is some traumatic occurance in their lives. It’s all in God’s time.

Practice virtue around him, prayer for him and charity towards him and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

 

[Mattjolley]

perhaps I should count myself lucky then that I came around to God’s grace at such an eary age (I was 20 at the time, 21 now!)

Matt

 

[Fidelis]

Perhaps I should count myself lucky then that I came around to God’s grace at such an early age (I was 20 at the time, 21 now!)

Matt

Yes, you should.

But for most people (in my experience) you are the exception rather than the rule. In any case, we all have our own paths to God. When it comes to the path of someone besides ourselves, we have to throw our own timetables out the door and leave it up to God and that person, at the same time being available and providing good example, prayer support and info as the Holy Spirit provides the initiative and opportunity.

 

[lak611]

Does your church have any volunteer opportunities, such as serving meals to the poor? Perhaps you could ask your brother to go with you to help out at something like that.

Does your parish have a group for young adults? Perhaps your brother might like that.

My other suggestion is to pray for him and continue to invite him to go with you to Mass.

 

[thomasf]

Speak less to your brother about God, and speak more to God about your brother.

 

[fellowChristian]

Do you think maybe our Faith is not masculine enough?
I mean when I think of church,religion or church events I think of women. It seems very feminine. Its not the “manly” thing to do. And of course its not the “cool” thing either.

You spoke of your Nan and your mom what about your father and grandfather? Were or are they “religious”?

My brother isn’t the religious type either.To top it off he’s married to someone anti-Catholic so it even makes it worse. But our dad was the type who wasn’t loving about taking us to Mass so my siblings feel bullied into going. We pray for our families and we try to set a good example. And at times take the time to explain why Catholics do the things we do.

Maybe if you explain little by little what the Mass is all about and why we do the things we do? Might help his understanding. I’ve also explained to our mother that she needs to constantly tell him to go to Mass. She is still his mother and he does listen to her. He goes every now and then.