My boyfriend is not Catholic?

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I am dating someone who is Buddhist. I really love him. I come from a good Catholic family, though, and they want me to be with a Catholic. But he really respects my religion, and encourages me to be a Holy person. He has good morals himself, and is a genuinely good person. He just isn’t Catholic or even Christian, and he doesn’t have a real relationship with God.

What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
 
Eil said:
I am dating someone who is Buddhist. I really love him. I come from a good Catholic family, though, and they want me to be with a Catholic. But he really respects my religion, and encourages me to be a Holy person. He has good morals himself, and is a genuinely good person. He just isn’t Catholic or even Christian, and he doesn’t have a real relationship with God.

What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
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Do whatever you feel you have to do.
But you should be aware that when people encourage you to date people of your same religion, they don’t do it out of spite or to be mean, but because that really is what works best.

Right now you are just dating, I understand that. But if your relationships lasts long enough, and you do end up considering marriage, inevitable conflicts and questions will arise on how you raise your children, what kind of wedding ceremony will you have, (not in that order, hopefully :-P), how to respond to certain crises, etc… Your religious differences will become more apparent as your relationship grows. And if his family is devoutly Buddhist and yours devoutly Catholic, there might be friction on his side of the family as well concerning your religious faith. It’s never fun to hear parents accuse you of “influencing” their child one way or another.

Of course, you might end up having a life-long, valuable relationship. I’m not trying to discourage you from your relationship, but you should have the above in consideration during your relationship.
 
Eep. Buddhism is dangerous – the religion considers an emptiness of the mind its ultimate spiritual goal, and Catholicism is explicitly on the other end of the spectrum, where rather than empty our minds, we seek to exist in a loving communion with Christ.

Remember that, first and foremost, each of our vocations is to holiness. This means that marriage doesn’t exist just to exist. It has its unitive and procreative functions, yes, absolutely, but underlying those two functions is a mutual prodding toward Christ and sainthood. A non-Catholic (yes, non-Catholic) will not be able to do that perfectly for you. You should seek to develop a deeply intensive prayer life, and seek someone who has that, too. You’ll know incredible joy that isn’t possible for those who don’t know Christ and the Sacraments.

And remember that there it will be incredibly difficult for you to discern marriage to someone who doesn’t have a prayer life. God hurtles – through time and space – two individuals toward each other, two beings meant to be one with each other. Make sure that God – for whatever reason – wants you to be with this one man for sure. I’m not saying it’s impossible. It may be a cross to bear, and your witness might inspire his conversion. But this will take an incredible amount of discernment. Be 2000000% sure. Don’t make this your choice. Make it Christ’s – and then follow His will.

God bless! I’ll pray for you both.
 
Eil said:
I am dating someone who is Buddhist. I really love him. I come from a good Catholic family, though, and they want me to be with a Catholic. But he really respects my religion, and encourages me to be a Holy person. He has good morals himself, and is a genuinely good person. He just isn’t Catholic or even Christian, and he doesn’t have a real relationship with God.

What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
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Eil,

Check out this link in the Ask an Apologist section of the forum: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=530890&highlight=date+catholic

It covers Should I date a non-Catholic, Can an interfaith relationship work, etc.

This should be helpful. 🙂

Anna
 
Pray for his conversion. St. Monica had to pray A LOT for her son Augustine to convert and eventually he did (hence he also became a saint.) Perhaps he is the one you’re called to marry despite his religion.
 
Pray, young lady. And I’ll pray for you both.

But I must say I’m doubtful. I know a Buddhist who sincerely claims to have had a vision of our Lord. Didn’t convert her.
 
I just want to say that I used to date a guy who wasn’t Catholic either, in fact he wasn’t Christian at all. This was not the reason of our break-up, but is true that it causes a lot of problems. He also respected me and my faith a lot but he would never go to church with me because he “just didn’t want to step a foot into such a building”. The ‘big fight’ that caused our break-up started with an argument about that. I want to say that love is great, and if it works out that’s awesome, but you should be careful and be open about what you really want. You have to realize that being with a non-Catholic means you will have to give up certain things. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth that.

Good luck, I know these things can be very hard. 🙂
 
MArriage is tough even with 2 Catholics. Being of two different faiths makes it much tougher. It works for my wife and I … BUT it has not been an easy road. There are a lot of things that need to be discussed and settled well before you are married.

How will the kids be raised ? how many kids, birth control versus NFP, for Catholics there is no choice, the Church (and YOU) should insist that they be raised Catholic… even then there are many other problems as well. Even if your future spouse agrees, how do you know if they may might not change their mind down the road.

As a Catholic, we do not believe in divorce. This is a once in a life time decision, make it wisely. It is so much easier to have the same faith. I wish my spouse shared my faith, but all I can do is pray that some day she will.
 
Eil said:
I am dating someone who is Buddhist. I really love him. I come from a good Catholic family, though, and they want me to be with a Catholic. But he really respects my religion, and encourages me to be a Holy person. He has good morals himself, and is a genuinely good person. He just isn’t Catholic or even Christian, and he doesn’t have a real relationship with God.

What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
Click to expand...
It can be difficult to be with someone of a different religion, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work. My high school drama teacher’s mother was a Baha’i, and her father was a Catholic. My teacher was raised Catholic, and her mother always respected her religious beliefs without interfering. Her parents have been married for over 40 years now, and it’s still a strong marriage.

Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you. You have to live your life for yourself, and what your parents want for you (or anyone else for that matter) may not always be compatible. You can respectfully disagree with them – but follow your heart. If you’re meant to be with this guy, then that’s what you have to do. If you love each other, and he’s a genuinely good person, then it shouldn’t matter what religion he is. In fact, you might consider reading Thomas Merton as a way to find some common ground, yet each of you can still maintain your own beliefs. Merton was a Trappist monk, but was also highly influenced by Buddhist philosophy in his Christian thought.
 
You should date any marry within your own faith. It may not seem like a big issue now for you, but it will be in the future. Especially if you marry and decide to have kids.
 
Eil said:
What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
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If you are asking this question, good news. There’s a whole lot MORE to your Catholic faith than you are experiencing right now.

When you gain in that appreciation, what the Eucharist is, what the sacraments give you and your future children, you would know that only another Catholic will do!
 
Eil said:
I am dating someone who is Buddhist. I really love him. I come from a good Catholic family, though, and they want me to be with a Catholic. But he really respects my religion, and encourages me to be a Holy person. He has good morals himself, and is a genuinely good person. He just isn’t Catholic or even Christian, and he doesn’t have a real relationship with God.

What do you think? As a Catholic should I be searching for someone with the same religion as me to spend my life with?
Click to expand...
What are you looking for?

Whether you’re dating casually or for marriage (either is fine) there’s nothing wrong with dating (or marrying) a non-Catholic and I know a few people who can make it work.

But you don’t have a go at it bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

You – and your boyfriend – should be clear right now (not later) about what you’re looking for, you should both be sensible enough anticipate that things can change, and how you would react if things changed. (And be honest.)

That’s my :twocents:
 
I, personally, would never date a nonCatholic, but if you love him so much then I-nor anyone-have the right to get in the way.
 
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