My brother and annullment

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SuzAn

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Hello Forum,
This is my first attempt at this so please be patient. My brother is Catholic and was married in the Church to a non catholic woman. This was a terrible marriage and she was unfaithful, demanded a divorce and would not consider counseling. They were divorced. He has since remarried a wonderful woman in a civil ceremony. She is the best thing that ever happened to him and they are very happy. Recently, after much aprehension, I approached the topic of annullment with him. He told me he knows he is going to hell because of the way he dealt with his second marriage. This breaks my heart because he is the most giving, loving person I have ever known. He began the annullment paper work but became frustrated with it and gave up. How can I approach him and help him and encourage him to proceed to have his first marriage annulled and the second one confirmed in the church? Any help will be appreciated. Maybe someone out there has been through this with a family member and can give me some good advise.
Thanks.
SuzAn
 
When I got my annullment, I had the help of an Annullment Advocate who happened to work very closely with our parish. Sister Mary Ann was a godsend to me, and literally walked me through each step, counseling me and supporting me as we went.
Is there anyone like that in your (arch)diocese? If so I would strongly suggest that you contact that person. You won’t regret it. I’ll be praying for you.

Mary :gopray: ❤️
 
When I got my annullment, I had the help of an Annullment Advocate who happened to work very closely with our parish. Sister Mary Ann was a godsend to me, and literally walked me through each step, counseling me and supporting me as we went.
Is there anyone like that in your (arch)diocese? If so I would strongly suggest that you contact that person. You won’t regret it. I’ll be praying for you.

Mary :gopray: ❤️
 
Dear SuZan,

My husband had to obtain an annullment too. Very similar situation. I think it is hard for anyone filling out the paperwork, or rather answering questions. But I would tell him that it is the best thing he ever did, not just for me but for his own soul. We grew very close because of annullment and learned a lot about each other and what we wanted out of our marriage. We are both very close to God now and have a solid footing for this marriage. Your brother will not only be saving his own soul, but he will be honoring God, and this wonderful woman. And you never know how far the effect will go…my husband has four daughters, one of whom has already been baptized in the Church and one more beginning to study. You didn’t mention how this new wife feels, but that may have something to do with it too. I will be praying for him.:gopray2:
 
Very familiar with a situation like your brother’s.

I agree with the other posters, a sensitive Advocate can be of tremendous help to your brother.
Would also recommend talking to a warm and understanding priest who can perhaps guide your brother.

Many prayers,
God bless
 
I had to have an annulment and I know how challenging it can be.

We will add you and your family to our prayers, that the Lord will guide you with his grace through these troubled times.

Pax Christi

Thom
 
Hi SuzAn,

You might want to check out the *Catholic Answers Live * broadcast coming up next Monday, June 14, with guest Ed Peters on the topic of Annulments and the Catholic Church.

Dr. Peters hold degrees in civil and Canon law and is the author of the definitive work on the topic, Annulments and the Catholic Church, which has just been released in a trade paperback format and is available from Catholic Answers.

If you want specific information you are welcome to call the show and get some insight from Dr. Peters, or if you just listen you might get some of your questions and concerns answered during the program.
 
My spouse and I decided not to wait until our anullments were final to get married. The anullment process was a very lengthy process and our parish priest had to encourage us a few times to complete it. The help of two separate advocates helped us tremendously. My first advocate angered me when explaining the reasons we could obtain an anullment, so I stoppped the process. Our parish priest encouraged me to change advocates. What I didn’t realize is how much that first advocate helped me to connect the dots with the second advocate. What the first one lacked, the second one covered, and visa versa. It was worth the hours that were spent. Even after our anullments were approved, we didn’t have our marriage convalidated in the Church immediately because I didn’t have enough faith in my marriage. I even considered divorcing my spouse. When I finally put total faith in God, we had our marriage convalidated. Since our marriage has been convalidated, it has become stronger than I could have ever imagined. Tell your brother to put his faith in God and see what happens. Even when it seems that things won’t work out, things do just that.

God is great!
 
My husband and I both went thru the annulment process. It was a very long ordeal. At first, I was quite put off because I was married and divorced prior to baptism, and I didn’t understand how my first marriage could have been valid. We both however knew that if we were to marry we needed to do it in accordance with the laws of the Church. We were often encouraged to have a civil ceremony and then after the annulments were complete; to have it convalidated in the Church, and the only thing we would miss out on was communion until the annulments were complete. This was unacceptable to us because neither of us wanted to be without Holy Communion. Also we found it to be a loop hole that we just weren’t willing to use. We wanted to be confident that our marriage was indeed a sacramental marriage, and that the only way to know if we were following the will of God was to follow the rules of the Church. Besides….what if one of us weren’t granted the annulment?

So, we waited to get married….two years we waited; committed to abstinence, and to living the will of God. The annulment process brought to both of us a new set of graces with every challenge. While the forms are long and the questions emotionally exhausting, it brought to both of us, our own responsibility in the failure of our previous marriages, it allowed us the opportunity to see thru the anger and hurt and acknowledge what occurred. It also made us certain of our desire to marry each other, it enkindled in us a real living knowledge of what the vocation of marriage is all about, and the depth of the responsibility we would be undertaking for and with each other. MOST OF ALL it allowed us to put closure on the past and allow the wounds to heal.

I often thank God for the annulment process. I believe it has allowed me to be a better wife, and for my husband to be a better husband. It also taught us that without God, we have no marriage.
 
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Schana:
My husband and I both went thru the annulment process.
So, we waited to get married….two years we waited; committed to abstinence, and to living the will of God. The annulment process brought to both of us a new set of graces with every challenge. While the forms are long and the questions emotionally exhausting, it brought to both of us, our own responsibility in the failure of our previous marriages, it allowed us the opportunity to see thru the anger and hurt and acknowledge what occurred. It also made us certain of our desire to marry each other, it enkindled in us a real living knowledge of what the vocation of marriage is all about, and the depth of the responsibility we would be undertaking for and with each other. MOST OF ALL it allowed us to put closure on the past and allow the wounds to heal.

I often thank God for the annulment process. I believe it has allowed me to be a better wife, and for my husband to be a better husband. It also taught us that without God, we have no marriage.

Because you were faithful to God, He will bless you in so many different ways! What a great example to all!
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