My child has anxiety issues (prayer needed)

[MTKM]

:heaven:

1. Does she have one or two friends who are the quiet, sensitive type? Sometimes teens can be really overwhelming and clique-ish.
2. Does she have any clubs at school, music, theatre, or chorus?
3. t’s perfectly normal to feel shy in the world we live in today, please tell her that. People are unique, each with a special gift. She will find hers!
4. Physical activity that she enjoys may help with the sleeping issues. With over-worrying, it’s good to try to re-capture a sense of humor. She may be the most normal person in the room, if her experience is anything like mine.
5. Does she enjoy books, reading, library clubs? Hobbies help give a person a sense of achievement, and she sounds like a good student.
6. School can sometimes feel like a mine-field, and you want to keep a close eye on things, make sure there’s no bullying or intimidation going on that’s upsetting her. Open communication between you both is so important. If you feel it’s time for professional help, that’s your decision.

Best wishes and prayers,
Kathryn Ann:harp::heaven::grouphug:

Dear Kathryn.

1. She had a best friend for many years in her school(peas in a pod) but recently this friend has kind of quit asking her to do much on weekends as another girl from the class kind of threw herself onto my daughters friend so those two are now doing most things together and not asking her. It hurt her pretty bad…she cried some at first but doesn’t say much about it any longer. Kind of dirty in my opinion but those girls are both in sports and my daughter is not so they fell apart I guess. Since she is in a Catholic school the number of girls in her class is limited.
2. She is in Chorus and Scholar Bowl. She is not into sports but she does like to watch basketball and baseball with me.
3. I tell her very often how special she is and not to worry about being herself and quiet. I tell her education will get you further than being overly hyper or good at sports. I let her know she a special gift to me from God.
4. I took her for a walk / hike today. She does need to get more active outside. / She is the most mature in her class. The teachers always tell us they use her like a TA/tutor to help with the students. She would come home some days and tell me and say “those kids are so noisy in class” as if she was a teacher…I don;t even think she realized she was talking like that…It was just an emotional reaction.
5. She loves reading since 3. I mentioned earlier that she has probably read 500 books (yes some are just kids books but it is still alot…she usually gets highest amount of AR points in the school). When she was in 5th grade she was reading at 12 grade level when tested. She does some library groups in the summer.
6. I told her today that she can always talk to me about anything and I will never tell anyone if she doesn’t want them to know.

Well she is asleep now…we said the rosary tonight (1 decade) and I discussed the mystery which I read off the computer as she lays in bed. I have been doing this since last Sunday…It seems the rosary helps her fall asleep. I will keep doing this and see if this works for now…we skipped praying the rosary Fri. and Sat. night and she had problems those nights… basically would get back up and come in my room telling me she couldn’t fall asleep.

Thank you for your prayers and taking the time to tell me your own experience. I am so blessed to have people in this forum help me. God Bless you!

 

[MTKM]

I tend to listen to audio books while I’m going to sleep. Usually just fun old stuff from LibriVox, nothing that takes a ton of concentration, but it is enough to shut off all the thoughts running around my head and give me something else to focus on, but not something that will keep me awake like all the other thoughts running around my head. Since she is already a reader (as am I) this might be helpful for her too.

Thank you Karen…This is another good idea…I like Cisterian Chant and wondered if she would listen to it to help her fall asleep but then I figured she would think dad was out of touch with her generation…Chant just really helps me relax…I listen to it sometimes in my car and have to be careful about getting too relaxed…I will look up this site you gave me a link to and give it a try. At this time we have a white noise machine in her room…it seems to help some.

Thanks again…God Bless you!

 

[mercylee]

Thanks purplesunshine. I appreciate you responding.

What do you think a professional will do for her? I have thought about taking her to a doctor but worry they will just prescribe some stronger or more dangerous drug to help her sleep rather than just taking a natural supplement like melatonin. Also, I need to clarify…I don’t really ban her completely from sodas…just stay away from ones with caffeine. On the sugar it is more or less just watch to make sure nothing excessive before bed…Like eating a entire king size snickers of something like that….

Just a little more background…She has always been the top student in her class on AR points and grades…Last year she won 8 academic awards in her school. When she first started school she was so far ahead of her classmates that she would tell us she was bored in class and the other students give her a headache because they make so much noise and act immature…Wife and I approached the principle about moving her up a grade…They discouraged it but we are talking about a Catholic school that would have stood to lose 1 year of tutition if they did that…I may be judgemental to make that statement as Catholic myself but I have felt that way ever since they told us no.

Hello, I am new to this site, so I hope I am doing this correctly, but i used to have similiar problems,and tried everything. I was given advice by my doctor to see a medical hypnosist. I went for a month with wonderful results. It has been ten years now, and I’m doing great. Hope this helps

 

[aloe]

So glad your daughter has a caring parent that understands something needs help. I would definitely suggest speaking with her pediatrician or a counselor. The reasons this will help is it would give her someone to talk who is used to listening and giving practical advice to help her. It is their job and they are good at it and can help increase her self esteem and confidence. Just speaking with a doctor doesn’t mean you want medication. Many counselors can’t even prescribe medication, their years of schooling give them the ability to do things such as cognitive behavioral therapy which can help teens with their thought patterns and excessive worries and shyness.

 

[GraceDK]

No.

Maybe verbally since she is quiet…They all seem to like her but always refer to her as the smart quiet kid. I think they give her a hard time because she it quiet.

She has been with the same class since 1st grade so no it is not a new school

13 …I am not sure about hormonal issues.

Totally agree with you! She has a loving family. We will work through this together. I appreciate your comments

Dear sister in Jesus.

Don’t give her any medicins.
Anxiety problems are actually quite common for early teen age girls. I read some statistics that told me so.
I am not sure how much is due to cultural factors, stress, insecurity about peers and social isolation, or insecure attachment.

I myself had anxiety problems that started at around 12-13. At the same time I experienced both changes in myself, and went from one school to another where I was socially isolated and didn’t make friends well. I have always been top of my class before and after this period in my life. I hid my daily discomfort for about a year until I couldn’t stand it, then my parents send me to a very good child psychiatrist who spoke to me for a while. He basically reastored the sense of safety in my young mind, and after that I lived for years as one of the bravest kids I know without any problems at all.

I have also in my adult life had some anxiety problems, but what I understand from text books is that it is far more common that the problem dissapears again as soon as the girl exits puperty.

Just… let your daughter know that she can really tell you how she feels and thinks. And if she tells you something heavy, don’t freak out.

 

[GraceDK]

Hello, I am new to this site, so I hope I am doing this correctly, but i used to have similiar problems,and tried everything. I was given advice by my doctor to see a medical hypnosist. I went for a month with wonderful results. It has been ten years now, and I’m doing great. Hope this helps

Hey, wow that sounds really interesting.
The church cautions us to use hypnosis, unless we are really safe with the person.
I would really like to know more about your experience. You were cured from anxiety through hypnosis and have been free from the problem for 10 years?
What kind of anxiety did you have? General anxiety or specified…?

Sorry, I hope I don’t highjack this thread, but I also know some people who could benefit from the answers to these questions.

 

[mandajane]

I suffered, and still suffer from, similar issues. I agree completely with the posters who have said that she needs to go see a doctor. If you are worried about the doctor just giving her a prescription for sleeping medicine, talk to the doctor about that in the appointment. I would also advise that if the doctor cannot find a physical explanation for what’s going on, definitely take her to see a therapist.

Some questions I would ask - If she is allowed to stay up/sleep in as late as she would like on the weekends, what time does she usually go to bed and get up? This can give you clues as to whether or not she has a Circadian Rhythm disorder. (Most teenagers’ circadian rhythms cause them to stay up very late, and sleep in late. There are treatments to help this.)

When she does sleep, does she sleep straight through, or wake up repeatedly during the night?

Is her lifestyle very sedentary, or is she active? What kinds of extracurriculars is she involved in? These are things her doctor will want to know.

Sometimes this is just ‘normal teenage issues’ and sometimes this is ‘serious mental health problems’, like I, and others, suffer from. In the mean time, while trying to arrange these appointments, here are some things I do to help myself calm down and sleep (aside from my medication).

Engage in some type of physical activity before bed. Either a workout, or playing a video game on the Wii, as examples. (I have a workout routine I use my Wii Fit for, and I do it every day before I crawl into bed).

Prayer. I know someone somewhere is rolling their eyes at this recommendation, but let me explain - Before I go to bed, after my workout, I take a shower, change into my PJs, crawl under my covers but sit up in bed, and pray. I usually start with ‘freestyle prayer’ and just offer up my concerns from the day, things that are stressing me out, and ask for guidance. I often look up saints who relate to the issues I’m praying about, and ask for their intercession. Once I feel that I have completely unburdened myself, I ask for forgiveness for any sins I may have committed, pray an Act of Contrition (and note what sins I have committed in my bedside journal for the next time I go for reconcilliation), then I pray a rosary. After I’ve done this, if I’m laying in bed fretting, I just remind myself “I have prayed about this. I’ve offered it up to God, and there is nothing I can do to change this situation right now. The best thing I can do is get some sleep, and deal with this tomorrow.” If a new concern pops up, I say a hail mary, and offer that up as well. I know a number of teenagers have underdeveloped prayer lives (since to a lot of kids, praying isn’t ‘cool’), but I’m throwing it out there, as it works for me.