My Dad Can't keep a job and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice?

[Ewinger97]

I’m 21 years old and am currently enrolled in college. I have had a few different jobs, but nothing I can use to help my mom with bills. My dad has had an uncountable number of jobs in the last few years, and every time he leaves a company it’s because he doesn’t like something so small about it. This last one was because they didn’t offer benefits, which I understand, but at the same time a paycheck is a paycheck. My grandma has been giving my mom some money every month to help with bills and my schooling, but she can’t do it forever. I want to talk to my mom about it, but she always will side with my dad. He sits at home all day on his computer being really picky about where he applies or even just playing games. He will go to the store and spend money on crap we don’t need, he recently bought a new used computer online, and with all of this expected my mom to give him the money as reimbursement. He says he doesn’t expect it, but I know he does at this point. I want to help my mom, but I can’t afford to do so with my current job. Any advice on how to either talk to my dad or find a job that will allow me to help my mom? I’ve been praying for months now, and can’t seem to get anywhere, so I figured prayer will only go so far, I have to try things on my own. I appreciate any and all advice!

 

[Retsel]

I figured prayer will only go so far, I have to try things on my own.

Prayer is for a lifetime. It’s power and effect should never be underestimated or confused with your timelines. You can also offer up a mass for him. 5 Things You Need To Know About 'Offering A Mass' For A Loved One - Living Faith - Home & Family - News - Catholic Online

While intercession is an action step, you don’t have to stop there. Let your be parents be your parents and you continue with education, career or trade.

After Christ, the next greatest gift a parent can give their children is independence, but sometimes they can’t or never learned how to.

Learn to stand in your own two shoes and become independent.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Your dad has a problem. Your mom seems to have decided to go along with his problem. She may have reasons for doing this that you are not privy to. I would advise you to not bother trying to “talk to your dad” or mom about this as it’s probably not going to help.

Hurry up and finish your schooling and get a good paying job so you can be financially independent. Once you are, you may want to be careful about “helping your mom” unless the need is dire, since it seems like your father is wasting the money given to him. I would suggest that if you do “help”, you pay bills directly or buy food for them, etc rather than giving them money that dad might spend on unnecessary items.

 

[Ewinger97]

I really appreciate it you guys, I have always just thought about it as helping my mom, but you’re right. I need to be financially independent before I can do anything, if I even need to.

 

[vern_humphrey]

Hurry up and finish your schooling and get a good paying job so you can be financially independent. Once you are, you may want to be careful about “helping your mom” unless the need is dire, since it seems like your father is wasting the money given to him. I would suggest that if you do “help”, you pay bills directly or buy food for them, etc rather than giving them money that dad might spend on unnecessary items.

This is all good advice – spot on!

Remember, there is such a thing as an “enabler,” a person who shields others from the consequences of their actions, and hence encourages more bad behavior. Your mother is sounding like an enabler. Don’t go that route yourself.

 

[Legend]

Try and stay out of your parents’ business. You should be concentrating on your education, now. And I agree…If you have extra money, and want to help your family, buy the food or other supplies yourself, rather than giving them money. If your dad wastes it, it only makes sense.