My dad recently died- he was raised Catholic but left the church . .

[KCT]

My dad was raised Catholic but left the Church. He has not attended Mass in about 35 years (other than my kids’ sacraments, where he did not receive Communion).

He died rather suddenly this week. My mom called a priest, explained the situation and asked for annointing; the priest complied, my dad was not conscious.

In a case like this I have to trust the mercy of God-- that somehow He could reach my dad if He chose to do so. Anyone else go through a similar situation? It’s terrible thinking that my dad rejected the Church while alive and could be in Hell. —KCT

 

[JKirkLVNV]

Yes, my father died in virtually the same circumstances, but was conscious for a while. He wasn’t Catholic. I hope he asked God to forgive his sins and save him (act of contrition). I pray for his soul every night and I have the Mass offered for him. I’m sorry for your loss and I pray for the repose of your father’s soul.

 

[carol_marie]

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Father. While I can see why you’d worry, I just wanted to remind you that our Heavenly Father is merciful and loving and really we have no idea what your Father’s last thought were. Perhaps they were ones of sorrow? We just don’t know. Trust God & pray for his soul. That’s all that you can do, isn’t it?

Again, I’m so sorry.
CM

 

[contemplative]

I am very sorry to hear of your recent loss. This must be a very difficult time for you.
I had similar questions and thoughts when my sister died. I was with my mother when we heard the telephone caller announce the death of my sister. Almost immediately I sat on a couch with my mother. We both had composure enough to pray for her and we did. I first initiated by praying an Act of Contrition for my sister. We prayed other prayers but I don’t remember them now and then we cried. I am 100% confident that our prayers are meaningful when our loved ones are unconscious or even deceased. Your prayers or the priest’s prayers are not invalid.

The power of faith is enormous. It is so great that it not only saves the believer: thanks to one person’s faith others are saved also.

The paralytic at Capernaum did not have faith. But the men who brought him to Jesus and let him down through the roof had it. The soul of the sick man was ill as well as his body. That is made clear in the Gospel: ‘And when Jesus saw their faith he said……”Rise, take up your pallet and go home.”’ The Gospel does not speak of ‘his’ faith but of ‘their’ faith. The stretcher-bearers believed and the paralytic had the benefit of being healed because of it. (Mark 2:1-11)

Then there is the death of Lazarus. Four days had passed. His body was already decomposing. How could one who had been dead for so many days believe and himself ask for the Deliverer? He could not possibly do so, but his sisters provided the faith for him. When they met the Lord, one sister fell down at his feet. He asked, ‘Where have you laid him?’ The other sister said, ‘Lord, by this time there will be a bad smell.’ Then the Lord said, ‘If you believe you will see the glory of God.’ As if to say, ‘As regards faith, you must take the place of the dead man.’ And the faith of the sisters succeeded in calling Lazarus back from the hereafter. (John 11:1-44)
Cyril of Jerusalem

 

[Giannawannabe]

KCT:

My dad was raised Catholic but left the Church. He has not attended Mass in about 35 years (other than my kids’ sacraments, where he did not receive Communion).

He died rather suddenly this week. My mom called a priest, explained the situation and asked for annointing; the priest complied, my dad was not conscious.

In a case like this I have to trust the mercy of God-- that somehow He could reach my dad if He chose to do so. Anyone else go through a similar situation? It’s terrible thinking that my dad rejected the Church while alive and could be in Hell. —KCT

KCT—I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. I agree with other posters. We don’t know what your Dad’s last thoughts were. Perhaps he was not conscious to your eyes, but he might have been able to hear the priest when he was annointed. We’ve all heard many stories about people who were thought to be in a coma, but in reality knew exactly what was going on.
Yes. Have trust in God. God can do all things—even change the heart of a dying man at the precise time needed for salvation.

 

[ThornGenX]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

My maternal grandmother died while estranged from the Catholic Church too. She also was raised Catholic, but when her father died under suspicion of suicide, he was refused Catholic funeral and burial. At this point, not only did my grandmother and her mother leave the church, my grandmother pulled her family away from the church as well (not sure if my mother and uncle were alive, but they were either pulled out of or kept out of the church). My grandfather, also a Catholic stopped going to Mass except for when he sister came to town.

My grandmother raised me and had nothing but negative comments to say about the Catholic Church. For example she called the Pope “the poop” and would run the church down in other ways whenever possible. I was not Catholic when she died in 1985. Looking back I wonder if she ever did make peace with the Church at all. Yes, I do understand your concerns.

 

[CalledtoServe]

KCT:

My dad was raised Catholic but left the Church. He has not attended Mass in about 35 years (other than my kids’ sacraments, where he did not receive Communion).

He died rather suddenly this week. My mom called a priest, explained the situation and asked for annointing; the priest complied, my dad was not conscious.

In a case like this I have to trust the mercy of God-- that somehow He could reach my dad if He chose to do so. Anyone else go through a similar situation? It’s terrible thinking that my dad rejected the Church while alive and could be in Hell. —KCT

Here’s a similar story of my own. I don’t know if it applies to your Dad, but it may provide you with hope.

Not to get into too many details, let’s just say my Dad was in the same position as your Dad. All his adult life he stubbornly opposed the church. However, God placed him in a position where his willl was no longer his own; he had a stroke. The last words he continued to mumble repeatedly were “…world without end. Amen!” Then he died. He was stubborn, but, I am convinced that his soul still desired God & that his Catholic upbringing was always with him.

“Teach a child the way in which he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

God bless you!

 

[JKirkLVNV]

CalledtoServe:

. The last words he continued to mumble repeatedly were “…world without end. Amen!” Then he died. He was stubborn, but, I am convinced that his soul still desired God & that his Catholic upbringing was always with him.

“Teach a child the way in which he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

God bless you!

How blessed you are to have that to hold on to.

 

[Princess_Abby]

Because God is outside of time, He is able to take the prayers of His faithful and apply them retroactively.

If I were you, I would begin praying daily with great fervor that your father experienced sorrow and contrition before dying. I would pray especially for the hour of his death and ask Our Lady to have held him close to her maternal heart and helped inspire him to repentance. I would ask God to give your father the gift of faith and desire for salvation during the hour of his death. I would ask God to show mercy upon the soul of your father and beg Him to allow your father salvation.

Because God has known for all of eternity that your father would leave the Church but have a faithful Catholic daughter capable of praying for him and his soul, God is perfectly willing and able to apply any prayers you have for your father to the moment in which you want them applied. I hope this is making sense. At the moment of your dad’s death, He knew that you would be troubled by this days or weeks or months later, and knew that you would pray fervently for your father’s salvation. He can then apply the prayers of you, a righteous woman, for your father’s soul at the moment when your father needed it most.

Padre Pio once heard the confession of a woman who was absolutely tormented with worry that her husband, who had committed suicide, was in hell. She asked him if he could provide her any insight into where her husband was and if he was truly in hell. Padre Pio told her that no, her husband was not in hell, because of his wife’s prayers. During the split moment between jumping from the bridge and hitting the water, the woman’s husband had asked God for forgiveness. This act of his was inspired by his wife’s prayers, though he did not understand nor realize it. He was simply in purgatory.

You have the rest of your life to allocate prayers to the hour of your father’s death. You have the rest of your life to offer prayers, masses, rosaries and redemptive sacrifices to enable him to get out of purgatory. Perhaps he will be released by the time of YOUR death, and then be a saint in heaven praying for YOUR release from purgatory someday.

Trust in God’s mercy and be grateful for the power of prayer. Your faith is still a gift to your earthly father. Use it!

 

[NFPfamily]

God bless you and your family during this time. When I was beginning college, my dad passed away unexpectedly. It was such a shock to all of us. Although they were divorced, my parents still remained good friends. My dad remained Catholic for a period of time, but then desired to get remarried to another woman, so he left the Catholic church and joined the Episcopalian church. I have always struggled with his decision to do that and I pray for him every day.

God hears all of your prayers,so don’t ever stop praying for your dad. I take comfort in knowing that God is indeed merciful and will hopefully bless our fathers with eternal life.

 

[Teelynn]

My prayers for you, your family and for your father. We must absolutely trust in God’s unfailling mercy. He is more merciful than we can understand as humans. And prayer is more powerful than we know! I went through a similar thing when my mom died. I said a novena to St. Therese and had no roses sent but had a dream about my mom telling me she was just fine and with the Lord. From then on I was at total peace about her. The Lord does speak to us in strange ways.:yup:

God Bless you and yours.
Teelynn