My dilema! HELP! RCIA

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I feel a little ashamed for broadcasting this, but I sincerely need some help.

My husband and I are going through RCIA. There is a family joining the Church along with us. I believe the mother is sincere and truly understands the teachings. HOWEVER…when she brings her family to services, they talk (chit-chat) throughout the Mass. I have heard people make comments such as “I can’t believe how rude people are…talking during Mass” as we walk out of the church.

I know Jesus loves all of us and I pray for patience. I think I am going to ask Father about it prior to our next RCIA class and maybe he can help. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, I want them to keep coming to church. I just worry that these family members aren’t understanding the teachings. If only they could open their ears instead of their mouths they might know the wonderful reason they are there.

I feel that when I am in Church, I need to devote my full attention to our Lord. I can understand the small child crying (that actually makes me smile) I am guilty of talking to my friends prior to the beginning of Mass, but in a whisper…and if there is someone kneeling near me, I wait.

I would like to hear any suggestions!

Thanks a bunch
M
 
Is the person really sensitive to criticism? If not I don’t see why you can’t just say “I hate to bring this up but during the mass its preferred to sit quietly so everyone can focus on the service.”

Body language and tone of voice will often make the difference in how the person takes it. Consciously be non-threatening, avoid “you” statements, and smile a little.
 
I’m not sure it’s your place to say anything. My church is full of people who chat before and during Mass. Some don’t even use whispers. I think it’s up to Father to say something from the pulpit or in private. —KCT
 
MCOLE http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/statusicon_cad/user_offline.gif vbmenu_register(“postmenu_424977”, true);
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Would you say anything if someone brought a radio to Mass and invaded the privacy of others?

Would you say anything if a mother had a 4 year old daughter who tap danced during most of Mass?

That family has to be set straight. They would in my Church! But if you are reticant or bashful, tell the priest.

You see they do not know that Jesus is coming at the concentration. It is a shame!
 
ask your RCIA instructor to get a little booklet from Our Sunday Visitor called Etiquette at Mass; there is also a similar pamphlet from Liguori. Your catechist should be familiar with both these publishers. Ask if a class period can be devoted to this topic, as well as when to genuflect, what are the furnishings of the Church, their purpose and meaning, what is the tabernacle etc.
 
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MCOLE http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/statusicon_cad/user_offline.gif vbmenu_register(“postmenu_424977”, true);
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Would you say anything if someone brought a radio to Mass and invaded the privacy of others?

Would you say anything if a mother had a 4 year old daughter who tap danced during most of Mass?

That family has to be set straight. They would in my Church! But if you are reticant or bashful, tell the priest.

You see they do not know that Jesus is coming at the concentration. It is a shame!
Click to expand...

Maybe that’s why they are in RCIA??? :o
 
I would suspect that they are from a Protestant church, which, because it is not a high liturgy church, has a much more relaxed attitude towards the demeanor of participants. They simply don’t know any better.

How to tell them? If you are any good at it, one of the better methods is not to “tell”, but ask; ask a lot of questions (ones that start with who, what, where, when, why and how) to lead them to reflect on what is going on around them, as well as what is occuring during the Mass. They are probably totally unaware of how out-of -sync they are with everyone else, but questions can lead them to discover what they need to know. And Voila! they fiugure it out. A genuine sense of curiosity will get you a whole lot further than telling them they are goofing up big time.
 
I should also tell you that they have brought cards to RCIA class! Thank goodness Father told them to put the cards away prior to class.

I don’t think that I am completely “reticant” I just want to make knowledgeable comments in a way that will not make this family run away from the Church.

I appreciate all of your comments. I especially like the “ask” suggestion.

I will continue to pray for patience and will sit closer to the front of the church this Sunday!

Thank you all!
M
 
Has your priest or RCIA instructor brought this up during one of your classes? I think it would go without saying but some people are kind of obtuse.

FWIW before mass our music director announces to please turn off cell phones, beepers or other things that would disturb the mass. Maybe you could see if some kind of announcement could be made prior to mass.

Also people with noisy kids are really considerate and if the child fusses for more than a few seconds they quietly pick up the child and take him/her outside until they can calm the child down.

Lisa N
 
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