V
Vincent187
Guest
Thank you for reading my post, and any advice given. (This is in two parts: see first comment for part 2)
God bless you!
As an introduction, I am male, twenty-one years of age, currently living in my parents’ house in Australia, after travelling and working overseas for a year.
I feel as though I cannot speak of this to any one in my immediate social circles (even priests!) due to the interconnectivity of persons involved.
I came back to my home-country in May of this year, mainly in response to what I saw as a dire financial and social situation at home. I felt obliged to return and aid in whatever way possible, so that my immediate family (parents and 3 siblings at home) weren’t forced into poverty again, which we’ve already experienced throughout much of my childhood prior (first-world poverty, that is).
As a disclaimer, I love my family dearly, and wish the best for them in all things temporal and eternal. It is precisely because I love them that I find such internal agony over this.
The social situation at home is complex and dysfunctional.
My father works over 1400km away from home, as he could not find stable work in our city. My mother has severe anxiety issues, does not drive, and seems to make excuses every time I offer to help in learning road-rules. Two of my adult-siblings at home do not work or study, and one of them does little more than spend countless hours playing computer-games. As far as I can tell, they both suffer from depression in some way. Apart from one sibling, I am the only driver at home. Additionally, I am the only driver with an income (I work part-time while studying part-time at university). My youngest sibling is still school-aged, and is not able to self-provide.
There are multiple social and environmental issues at home.
My parents have issues with hoarding, which has had a negative effect on the functionality of the home itself. Moreover, both my parents have health-issues (not entirely their fault) which have affected their ability to provide for their children. My father’s work is contingent on opportunities which are scarce, and as far as I am aware, my mother is not mentally well enough to work in a full-time or part-time capacity.
Perhaps the most critical issue, however, is the psycho-social illness evidenced in their behaviour.
My mother holds deep resentment for my father’s immediate family, and this has negatively affected my own ability to have a relationship with extended family. She has threatened (colloquially phrased) to ‘kick out’ those who endeavour to attend meetings of extended family, such as weddings, funerals, etc. Sadly, she refuses to get professional therapy for her mental health.
My paternal grandfather passed away six years ago - I have not visited his grave since his funeral. My paternal grandmother suffers from a very painful disease (my mother disdains her and calls her a ‘witch’). When I saw her before leaving for overseas, my mother was furious about it. She is frequently uttering vehement vitriol to all members of the house-hold, and it is becoming too much to bear for me. Despite her vitriol, she randomly turns around with phrases such as ‘I don’t know what I would do without you’. To informally phrase it, it’s like living with Jekyll and Hyde. Accordingly, my mother’s mental illness, and refusal to get professional help has had a severely negative effect on my own social and mental well-being.
I have a sense of responsibility for the situation at home.
My mother’s inability to transport herself leaves two immediate options for transportation: My unemployed adult sibling and myself.
I am shouldering a disproportionate amount of this responsibility, as my adult sibling is currently dealing with mental health issues also, and evidences ‘unreliability’, as termed by my mother. Furthermore, I not only have the responsibility of transporting my mother, but also my youngest sibling, to whatever extra-curricular activities require attendance.
It should also be noted that my Mother does not evidence effective self-management in simple planning such as buying groceries. I often must spend in excess of 6 hours a week, just in driving her to a supermarket and helping her get groceries.
I also must drive her to whatever social meetings (unless she can organise otherwise) she attends, which also takes up time. I don’t mind doing this, but it just is not sustainable for balancing work and university.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cont. over
God bless you!
As an introduction, I am male, twenty-one years of age, currently living in my parents’ house in Australia, after travelling and working overseas for a year.
I feel as though I cannot speak of this to any one in my immediate social circles (even priests!) due to the interconnectivity of persons involved.
I came back to my home-country in May of this year, mainly in response to what I saw as a dire financial and social situation at home. I felt obliged to return and aid in whatever way possible, so that my immediate family (parents and 3 siblings at home) weren’t forced into poverty again, which we’ve already experienced throughout much of my childhood prior (first-world poverty, that is).
As a disclaimer, I love my family dearly, and wish the best for them in all things temporal and eternal. It is precisely because I love them that I find such internal agony over this.
The social situation at home is complex and dysfunctional.
My father works over 1400km away from home, as he could not find stable work in our city. My mother has severe anxiety issues, does not drive, and seems to make excuses every time I offer to help in learning road-rules. Two of my adult-siblings at home do not work or study, and one of them does little more than spend countless hours playing computer-games. As far as I can tell, they both suffer from depression in some way. Apart from one sibling, I am the only driver at home. Additionally, I am the only driver with an income (I work part-time while studying part-time at university). My youngest sibling is still school-aged, and is not able to self-provide.
There are multiple social and environmental issues at home.
My parents have issues with hoarding, which has had a negative effect on the functionality of the home itself. Moreover, both my parents have health-issues (not entirely their fault) which have affected their ability to provide for their children. My father’s work is contingent on opportunities which are scarce, and as far as I am aware, my mother is not mentally well enough to work in a full-time or part-time capacity.
Perhaps the most critical issue, however, is the psycho-social illness evidenced in their behaviour.
My mother holds deep resentment for my father’s immediate family, and this has negatively affected my own ability to have a relationship with extended family. She has threatened (colloquially phrased) to ‘kick out’ those who endeavour to attend meetings of extended family, such as weddings, funerals, etc. Sadly, she refuses to get professional therapy for her mental health.
My paternal grandfather passed away six years ago - I have not visited his grave since his funeral. My paternal grandmother suffers from a very painful disease (my mother disdains her and calls her a ‘witch’). When I saw her before leaving for overseas, my mother was furious about it. She is frequently uttering vehement vitriol to all members of the house-hold, and it is becoming too much to bear for me. Despite her vitriol, she randomly turns around with phrases such as ‘I don’t know what I would do without you’. To informally phrase it, it’s like living with Jekyll and Hyde. Accordingly, my mother’s mental illness, and refusal to get professional help has had a severely negative effect on my own social and mental well-being.
I have a sense of responsibility for the situation at home.
My mother’s inability to transport herself leaves two immediate options for transportation: My unemployed adult sibling and myself.
I am shouldering a disproportionate amount of this responsibility, as my adult sibling is currently dealing with mental health issues also, and evidences ‘unreliability’, as termed by my mother. Furthermore, I not only have the responsibility of transporting my mother, but also my youngest sibling, to whatever extra-curricular activities require attendance.
It should also be noted that my Mother does not evidence effective self-management in simple planning such as buying groceries. I often must spend in excess of 6 hours a week, just in driving her to a supermarket and helping her get groceries.
I also must drive her to whatever social meetings (unless she can organise otherwise) she attends, which also takes up time. I don’t mind doing this, but it just is not sustainable for balancing work and university.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cont. over
