My feelings won't seem to fade

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Billystein24

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I’ve like this girl for almost a year now and my feelings can’t seem to fade. We use to be good friends and it went downhill once she found out that I liked her. She grew distant and she wanted me to move on. She realized that I couldn’t and eventually she took matters into her own hands and started to be “mean” to me on purpose so I would get the point and not like her. That attempt didn’t work and she eventually decided to stop talking to me completely through the means of social media, in person, phone and text. I don’t know what to do because I feel like I lost a friend over my feelings. I still like her but don’t know what to do. I just want to restore our friendship and get things back to the way the use to be. Is it wrong that I still think about her and pray for her everyday?
 
She’s made herself very clear to you. Leave her alone and move on.
 
Billystein24 said:
I’ve like this girl for almost a year now and my feelings can’t seem to fade. We use to be good friends and it went downhill once she found out that I liked her. She grew distant and she wanted me to move on. She realized that I couldn’t and eventually she took matters into her own hands and started to be “mean” to me on purpose so I would get the point and not like her. That attempt didn’t work and she eventually decided to stop talking to me completely through the means of social media, in person, phone and text. I don’t know what to do because I feel like I lost a friend over my feelings. I still like her but don’t know what to do. I just want to restore our friendship and get things back to the way the use to be. Is it wrong that I still think about her and pray for her everyday?
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I agree with the previous poster, and I just wanted to add that you deserve someone who appreciates you and cares about you. For the sake of your future happiness, think about it: why should you still be hung up with a person who has distanced themselves from you and is mean to you in order to get rid of you? Pray for the strength to get over this person and find the person you are meant to be with. God bless!
 
Billystein24 said:
I’ve like this girl for almost a year now and my feelings can’t seem to fade. We use to be good friends and it went downhill once she found out that I liked her. She grew distant and she wanted me to move on. She realized that I couldn’t and eventually she took matters into her own hands and started to be “mean” to me on purpose so I would get the point and not like her. That attempt didn’t work and she eventually decided to stop talking to me completely through the means of social media, in person, phone and text. I don’t know what to do because I feel like I lost a friend over my feelings. I still like her but don’t know what to do.
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You like a girl who does not return the feeling. Being around you makes her uncomfortable because she knows how you feel and she does not return those feelings. She does not want to lead you on. She does not want to date you. She is not going to be comfortable being “friends” because you want more than friends, and she can’t give it.

Even if you say you just want to be friends, that isn’t true.
Billystein24 said:
I just want to restore our friendship and get things back to the way the use to be.
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You can’t.
Billystein24 said:
Is it wrong that I still think about her and pray for her everyday?
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I suggest you stop feeding into your feelings for her by making a point to dwell on her in prayer and in your thoughts. You are giving yourself permission to pine for her while simultaneously telling yourself you are doing something pious-- praying.
 
The “Let’s just be friends” card is almost never practical. One person has romantic feelings and the other person doesn’t, and even if the romantic affection is genuinely gone, it’s still often socially awkward. I went through a situation where I had a crush on a girl when I was a kid and she didn’t, and later in life she had a crush on me and I didn’t. Talk about bad timing, amirite?

Just move on. There’s three and a half billion other women out there.
 
TK421 said:
“Let’s just be friends” doesn’t work when one person has romantic feelings and the other person doesn’t. Just move on. There’s three and a half billion other women out there.
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Seconded. Move along. There are more women out there than men. The odds are in your favor.
 
I mean granted, 25% of those 3.5 billion women are short middle aged or senior Asian women, but if you can expand your zone of interest, you’ve got all sorts of ladies with spunk that are just waiting for you to be their man. It’s really all about showing some initiative. Carpe diem.
 
If you truly care about her, then you will respect her wishes and move on.

And you deserve someone who appreciates you and wants to spend time with you. There are 3.5 billion women in this world. There is at least one out there who desires to be with you.
 
At least she is being honest with you and not leading you on, which would give you the impression she likes you on some level. She has made it clear she does not share the same feelings.

Get involved at church, sports, or some hobby----- get back into life!
The best way to find someone is when you aren’t really trying!
 
Billystein24 said:
I’ve like this girl for almost a year now and my feelings can’t seem to fade. We use to be good friends and it went downhill once she found out that I liked her. She grew distant and she wanted me to move on. She realized that I couldn’t and eventually she took matters into her own hands and started to be “mean” to me on purpose so I would get the point and not like her. That attempt didn’t work and she eventually decided to stop talking to me completely through the means of social media, in person, phone and text.** I don’t know what to do because I feel like I lost a friend over my feelings. I still like her but don’t know what to do. I just want to restore our friendship and get things back to the way the use to be**. Is it wrong that I still think about her and pray for her everyday?
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In regards to the bolded part, it’s going to be very difficult to go back where things were before. This is the risk you take: sometimes the love is reciprocated, other times it is not and unfortunately it makes the former friendship very awkward. It is not wrong to pray for her and occasionally think about her (especially considering how recent and fresh this all is) but I do think you need to leave her alone and attempt to move on. She has obviously made herself clear, though not very maturely, that she doesn’t feel the same.
 
Billystein24 said:
I’ve like this girl for almost a year now and my feelings can’t seem to fade. We use to be good friends and it went downhill once she found out that I liked her. She grew distant and she wanted me to move on. She realized that I couldn’t and eventually she took matters into her own hands and started to be “mean” to me on purpose so I would get the point and not like her. That attempt didn’t work and she eventually decided to stop talking to me completely through the means of social media, in person, phone and text. I don’t know what to do because I feel like I lost a friend over my feelings. I still like her but don’t know what to do. I just want to restore our friendship and get things back to the way the use to be. Is it wrong that I still think about her and pray for her everyday?
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You need to cut off contact with her. If you want to pray for her, well, it’s tough to argue against that, but you do need to stop dwelling on her. Don’t let praying for her be an excuse to sit around all day feeling sad thinking about her!

I think you’ve analyzed the situation very well if not altogether perfectly, but again, cut her off.

It’s not that you can’t ever be friends again, but trying to talk to her right now will make it worse.

If you cut her off, it will say a lot about how she really feels about being friends.

Romantically, though, it would be a long road if not impossible to win her over, and it won’t happen anytime soon—at least not genuinely. As far as dating goes, it would be good to try and move on.
 
She has a right to her choices, you know. 🙂 That you have failed to respect her free choice might seem to her to be an added reason to avoid you. I would find it scary and uncomfortable if someone persisted in hankering after me when I’d made clear my choice didn’t include the kind of relationship you desire. She has done the right thing in severing friendship with you as you have proved thus far unable to detach.

You choose to nurture feelings that are unwelcome to her, because you haven’t made a choice* not* to let them take over. It may not feel like a choice on your part, but it is a choice, each new day that you dwell on this girl. I wouldn’t be drawn to a man who couldn’t be realistic about things. Perhaps she also cannot be. Yes he must have a caring heart, but also the balance of practical responses to unchangeable facts.

I do hope you can grow past your sad loss and find a girl who wishes to share a healthy and caring relationship with you.
 
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