My first confession-HELP!

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I am about to make my first Confession. Any advise? I mean, if I go by the old confess the kind and number of sins-- if I say as Jesus said that he who is angry with his brother is guilty of murder, and I say I have sinned against that Commandment 100 times won’t the Priest think I am a mass murderer – rather than I get angry a lot? The same goes for Lust and all the rest?
 
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JohnCarroll:
I am about to make my first Confession. Any advise? I mean, if I go by the old confess the kind and number of sins-- if I say as Jesus said that he who is angry with his brother is guilty of murder, and I say I have sinned against that Commandment 100 times won’t the Priest think I am a mass murderer – rather than I get angry a lot? The same goes for Lust and all the rest?
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Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! This sacrament is not about condemnation but about forgiveness!

The priest is not going to condemn you to hell or consider you to be a mass murdered. If you confess that you are angry with your brother, the priest willl simply ask you “Why?” It is not a sin to be angry…it is a sin to act upon that anger.

When you go into the confessional, simply say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned” and remember that you are speaking to Jesus…who already knows your sins.

Simply state your sins…have you sinned against chastity? How many times? Have you been verbally abusive to your parents? Have you stolen, lied, or gone to a palm reader?

I recommend that you go to www.maryfoundation.com (did I get the website right?) and order the cd on confession by Fr. Larry. This will help you immensely.

I have often struggled with confession…once after 10 years, then recently after another 2 years. Read about the prodigal son and remember that Jesus awaits you with open arms. If you are an adult and this is your first confession, then it will go pretty easily…it will be a “General Confession” and your sins will be forgiven if yoiu approach it with a contrite heart and a genuine will to change.

God Bless and Welcome Home!
 
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JCPhoenix:
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! This sacrament is not about condemnation but about forgiveness!

The priest is not going to condemn you to hell or consider you to be a mass murdered. If you confess that you are angry with your brother, the priest willl simply ask you “Why?” It is not a sin to be angry…it is a sin to act upon that anger.

When you go into the confessional, simply say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned” and remember that you are speaking to Jesus…who already knows your sins.

Simply state your sins…have you sinned against chastity? How many times? Have you been verbally abusive to your parents? Have you stolen, lied, or gone to a palm reader?

I recommend that you go to www.maryfoundation.com (did I get the website right?) and order the cd on confession by Fr. Larry. This will help you immensely.

I have often struggled with confession…once after 10 years, then recently after another 2 years. Read about the prodigal son and remember that Jesus awaits you with open arms. If you are an adult and this is your first confession, then it will go pretty easily…it will be a “General Confession” and your sins will be forgiven if yoiu approach it with a contrite heart and a genuine will to change.

God Bless and Welcome Home!
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I like that term “General Confession”-- what is that? I have 55 years to confess–just a former Episcopalian.
 
First remember that it is a sacrament, that is, an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. It is also a liturgical action - having a specific form.

But, down to the nitty gritty. Pray for strength and guidance to confess honestly. Do a good examination of conscience. Use the ten commandments or the beatitudes. Many parishes have a pamphlet that can be very helpful. For the actual confessing, start with any serious sin and be as explixit as possible. Name the specific action (or inaction). Don’t be concerned about what the priest might think. He has heard them all before. For less serious sin, I have summarize a category of behavior that I would like the graces to overcome. Express yourself in you everyday language. It doesn’t need to be poetry. Be prepared to express an act of contrition, in your own words or with a formula (see pamphlet mentioned about). Accept the penance the priest gives you and accept the mercy of our Loving God.
Blessings on you,
David
 
Bravo! to the post above. [JCPhoenix] Good advice.

Just to add my 2:twocents: , you will come out of the confessional with a heavy weight lifted from your heart. Know that, that is because all your sins have been lifted and the Lord has given you sanctifying grace and sacramental grace to fight temptation. You won’t feel that every time, but the fact of grace still remains.

It is definitely hard confessing our miserable and embarrasing sins, but that’s what they are, and Jesus still has His hands and heart wide open for us because by way of the confessional we are running back and returning to Him and His love.

He loves you soooooooo much. I will be praying for you.
 
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davidv:
First remember that it is a sacrament, that is, an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. It is also a liturgical action - having a specific form.

But, down to the nitty gritty. Pray for strength and guidance to confess honestly. Do a good examination of conscience. Use the ten commandments or the beatitudes. Many parishes have a pamphlet that can be very helpful. For the actual confessing, start with any serious sin and be as explixit as possible. Name the specific action (or inaction). Don’t be concerned about what the priest might think. He has heard them all before. For less serious sin, I have summarize a category of behavior that I would like the graces to overcome. Express yourself in you everyday language. It doesn’t need to be poetry. Be prepared to express an act of contrition, in your own words or with a formula (see pamphlet mentioned about). Accept the penance the priest gives you and accept the mercy of our Loving God.
Blessings on you,
David
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Thank you both for your help
 
I am a convert so My first confession was at 21 years of age. That was a long time ago, but the priest was very helpful. If he doesnt know, just tell him this is my first confession and Im not sure how to proceed. In my case the priest just asked me if I had committed these sins or those sins. Kind of like general confession but more specific. Dont fret, the priest has heard everything I assure you. He wont think any less of you. Confession is all about forgiveness, not condemnation. God bless you on your journey into god’s love and forgiveness.
 
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JohnCarroll:
I am about to make my first Confession. Any advise? I mean, if I go by the old confess the kind and number of sins-- if I say as Jesus said that he who is angry with his brother is guilty of murder, and I say I have sinned against that Commandment 100 times won’t the Priest think I am a mass murderer – rather than I get angry a lot? The same goes for Lust and all the rest?
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Hey John,
First off just relax. I came back to the Church after 35 years and searched fo r a priest who I thought would be understanding and such, found one on the other side of town, went through it just fine and felt a thousand pounds lighter when I walked out. Since then I have gone to confession at a number of parishes in my area( just happend to need confession when those confessionals were open or wanted to try different parishes) and to be honest, have not run into one priest that I feel I could not have gone to originally. They have all been great. All different but all great.

As to how, yes, type and number. Example: Bless me Father, I have sinned. It has been 25 minutes since my last confession, these are my sins. I beat my dog 26 times. I put a brand new red shirt in my sisters white laundry when she wasn’t looking and everything turned out pink, Father. I did that once. And etc, etc. etc.
Those are my sins.

If you have a problem, let him know and he will help you out. Just let him know that it is your first time if he doesn’t know. They go through the 10 commandments and ask questions and if you have anything that you think is out of the ordinary, you probably dont. They basically have “heard it all” after a few years and if they haven’t heard of yours, they will just forget it anyway. Any good priest forgets what you tell them right after you tell them. They don’t want to carry your “garbage” around with them any more than you do.

If you want to you can write down in code what you remember your sins to be and then make sure you burn the paper when your done. Do a pretty good mental search of your sins over the years and try to get rid of as much as you can remember. And then be ready for the ones you forgot.

Now in that regard. Just remember, Confession, even though you are talking to a priest, is actually between you and God. He knows what is in your heart and mind. You are talking to HIM.

God bless. Congratulations on completing your journey. And since you are crossing the Tiber, just remember to take the bridge. No sense in getting your feet wet. And welcome to the “whore of babylon” and I’ll see you over at the statue worshipping party when you get there. And don’t forget to bring your beads for our vain repetition practice. :dancing: :clapping:

Whit
 
Five things:
  1. Tell the priest that it is your first confession and you want to make a general confession of all the things you have done throughout your life. Many priest may walk you through it during confession (questions etc…)
  2. Remember this phrase I heard once: There is nothing you can tell a priest that he hasn’t already heard. No matter how bad or ashamed you are, it is fine, take it all with you and confess your heart.
  3. One of the things it talks about in St. Faustina’s book on Divine Mercy is how we should look through the priest as a “screen” and know that you are indeed talking to Jesus your God and best Friend.
  4. It helps me when I am troubled before confession to take a moment to ask our Blessed Mother for help. You can talk to her a bit and I am sure she will be standing right beside you (if you pray for it) as you give Jesus your heart.
  5. You might also try doing an examination of conscience and then praying the Chaplet if Divine Mercy about a half hour or so before you go if you can…It helps, and Jesus will be more than happy to open His Sacred Heart to you.
    My prayers are with you, Hope that helps!
 
Hey John, You asked what is a general confession. That is basically what you will be doing. Some people think it is a confession where the priest stands in front of a bunch of people and gives them general absolution without actually hearing their confessions. That has been called a general confession before but actually a general confession is an all encompassing confession covering a confession of sins over a long period of time, generally greater than 1 year since by Church guidelines we are required to go to confession at least once a year. Again, it’s no different than a regular confession. It just covers more time and takes a longer time to go through because of the time span involved.

Someone mentioned explicitness of the sins involved. Yes, be explicit but you don’t have to go through the plans s you made to rob the bank. If you robbed the bank, tell him you robbed the bank once, twice or however many times it happened. If he want you to be more explicit he will ask. There might be some things you are not sure about, write them down and ask him for guidance in this or that area and have a conversation with him about it. That will help you out in the future to know more of what is expected and how. Don’t feel foolish in any way. If he laughs at anything, just laugh with him. After all he is just listening and you are just trying to get it off your chest so you can forget all about it and feel clean. It’s a great feeling to hear that “I absolve you of all your sins.” That sounds so good and you know it comes from God.
Again God bless.
Whit

BTW, a general confession of the other kind I mentioned is good to be used in cases where a group of GI’s are going into battle and there is no time for individual confessions. A priest can give general absolution, the men go fight, and those who come back must go to confession asap or the other absolution is no good for them. It is good however for those who did not make it back as long as there was true contrition and sorrow for sin.
 
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whit:
Hey John, You asked what is a general confession. That is basically what you will be doing. Some people think it is a confession where the priest stands in front of a bunch of people and gives them general absolution without actually hearing their confessions. That has been called a general confession before but actually a general confession is an all encompassing confession covering a confession of sins over a long period of time, generally greater than 1 year since by Church guidelines we are required to go to confession at least once a year. Again, it’s no different than a regular confession. It just covers more time and takes a longer time to go through because of the time span involved.

Someone mentioned explicitness of the sins involved. Yes, be explicit but you don’t have to go through the plans s you made to rob the bank. If you robbed the bank, tell him you robbed the bank once, twice or however many times it happened. If he want you to be more explicit he will ask. There might be some things you are not sure about, write them down and ask him for guidance in this or that area and have a conversation with him about it. That will help you out in the future to know more of what is expected and how. Don’t feel foolish in any way. If he laughs at anything, just laugh with him. After all he is just listening and you are just trying to get it off your chest so you can forget all about it and feel clean. It’s a great feeling to hear that “I absolve you of all your sins.” That sounds so good and you know it comes from God.
Again God bless.
Whit

BTW, a general confession of the other kind I mentioned is good to be used in cases where a group of GI’s are going into battle and there is no time for individual confessions. A priest can give general absolution, the men go fight, and those who come back must go to confession asap or the other absolution is no good for them. It is good however for those who did not make it back as long as there was true contrition and sorrow for sin.
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Dear all, thanks for your good advice. My wife says thanks as well–she is coming in too.
 
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JohnCarroll:
Dear all, thanks for your good advice. My wife says thanks as well–she is coming in too.
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Well, God bless to you both and welcome from us all.
Whit
 
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whit:
God bless. Congratulations on completing your journey. And since you are crossing the Tiber, just remember to take the bridge. No sense in getting your feet wet. And welcome to the “whore of babylon” and I’ll see you over at the statue worshipping party when you get there. And don’t forget to bring your beads for our vain repetition practice. :dancing: :clapping:

Whit
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Whit, I tried to think of an equally funny reply but you win – that was hysterical!
 
There’s been a lot of good advice and encouragement posted here. Just one other thing occurs to me. When it’s a first confession or a confession after a number of years, you don’t have to try for numerical accuracy over a 10 or 20 or 50 year period! “I robbed about 2 banks a week over the past 30 years” is sufficient. Or if you’re a lesser sinner, such things as “said hurful things to my wife several times a month;” etc. A priest once told me that a confession covering a number of years could be done in a matter of minutes. As someone else mentioned, tell him that you want to make a “general confession” and the number of years it’s been. He will help out from there.

JimG
 
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JohnCarroll:
Whit, I tried to think of an equally funny reply but you win – that was hysterical!
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I’m glad you liked it John. My tickle bone grabbed me and it just came out. I do things like that every once in a while and I know people think I’m nuts but I think I’m getting to old to care.
God is so good!
Whit
 
One point I would like to make is that part of the purpose of this Sacrament is to help us change our ways. If we focus entirely upon the number of each offense our memory is bound to let us down, but it is the sincere regret for them and intention to stop that is important.

It is our tendencies toward sin that need to be addressed, and subsequent opportunities for confession should show us if we are moving in the right direction.

The most troublesome or serious sins should reduce in time if we are truly determined to find our way to God, but we need to be very honest with ourselves and recognize our mis-steps and resolve to abandon the behavior, attitude or habit.

It’s easy to confess and sound out the same old laundry list, but if that’s how it is we aren’t making progress. We must strive to be holy.

Don’t worry about running out of things to confess, I doubt that will be a problem for most people.
 
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Hesychios:
One point I would like to make is that part of the purpose of this Sacrament is to help us change our ways. If we focus entirely upon the number of each offense our memory is bound to let us down, but it is the sincere regret for them and intention to stop that is important.

It is our tendencies toward sin that need to be addressed, and subsequent opportunities for confession should show us if we are moving in the right direction.

The most troublesome or serious sins should reduce in time if we are truly determined to find our way to God, but we need to be very honest with ourselves and recognize our mis-steps and resolve to abandon the behavior, attitude or habit.

It’s easy to confess and sound out the same old laundry list, but if that’s how it is we aren’t making progress. We must strive to be holy.

Don’t worry about running out of things to confess, I doubt that will be a problem for most people.
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Dear Michael
Thank you for your post as well. What you say is very important–HOLINESS without which no one can see the Lord!
 
Hey John

If you can, relax.

I had a Uncle who converted when he was 70, I guess because of his age he didn’t get much RCIA, when he made his first confession the Priest told him to pray 5 Hail Mary’s. And he replied what the heck is a Hail Mary.:hmmm:

Nevertheless he became one heck of a Catholic for the last 10 years of his life. 👍

Peace

Scott
 
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