My French atheist girlfriend

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Atheists seem to have in common the habit of rewriting history to fit their simplistic view of “Religion=Bad, Secular Atheism=Good”.

My advice would be to find a devout Catholic girl (of which there are many) and not bother dating non-believers at all. After all, the best chance of your kids being Catholic is if both their parents share the faith and are united in passing it down.
 
Anton1000 said:
Here in France many French college students and French people think that French Revoloution is the most important of French history…We(i and my friends) arent French we are Greek Raman-Catholic or Polish Catholics.We Greek Catholics(and Polish) are very religious we go every Week in Church but French(not French atheists and agnostics who are many,the French who say are Catholics) dont go never to church.In this time Muslims,orthodox and Evangelical Christians in France build more and more churches because they are go very offten to their churches and are veey religious.I kniw because in College have got Orthodox,Evangelicals and muslims college students who are very religious the only Cathplics who are religious in college were Greek and Polish Catholics because French are or atheists,or agnostics or Catholics who dont go never Church and they dont go never the Big Religious catholic events the French churches hasnt got any people in Catgolic Church who go we Greek and Polish Catholic students has not got any French students.I see in internet that people who say are Catholics in France(from people who say are Catholics(55%)-(the 85% dont go never church the 4% go offten church and the 11% go only big Catholic events one-two times in the year!But the 85% of the French who say are dont go Church never!)Why the French who became Muslims(200.000),orthodox Christians(160.000) and Evangelicals christians(300.000) are very religious and the French who are Catholics dont?And the French who become again religious dont go to Catholic church but go to Orthodox and Evangelical Church and Islam!Why?I see history and the French atheists appearance first time in 1688-1789(Voltaire,Didero,the atheist priest Jean Meslier and other) before this havent got any atheists appearance in France.In French revoloution start dechristianization of France(1789-1801)who continue with not wars in 1801-1905 and 1905 Catholic isnt the Religion of France.In 33 who France become Christian to 1688 atheists are 0% in 1774 atheists in France 7-8% in 1789 the year who start French Revoloution are 10%,the 1905 are 20% and now are 40-55%.In 1905 43% of Catholic French go to church offten,in 1952 27% go offten to church and now only 4% go offten to church!I say my girlfriend for the killing in the Vandea and she say that Catholic Church kill more peoople but she apologized becauase she see that i sad with this who say…She come one time to Church with me becayse i please her and she say that she love me.She say that i dint understand hiw imortant are French Revoloution because we(i and my Greek and Catholic friends) are not French.I love my girlfriend and she love me.My girlfriend are Catholic in past but the many French Catolics dont go never in their life!She and her Family dont go never to church her parents dont go never in church in their life!Can i do this Girl to come Religion again not this who do some French who go to Religion agian and become Orthodox,Evangelical Christians or muslims ilcan i do Catholic again thats who are French in the past befire Voltaire,Didero and the 1688?We love!..The Greek Catholics are vwlery religious but French dont go never to church!Really sad to see historical Catholic churches in France to closed or become Orthodox,Evangelical and muslim churches…
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Most people get all patriotic about stories that are more or less mythological. The French Revolution definitely falls into that category, but I wouldn’t single out the French to fault them for that.

Those of us who married non-Catholics can tell you this: Do not marry a non-believer who is not favorably disposed towards your religion. Someone who is non-religious not because they have something against religion but because they never learned it, that is one thing. That can be someone who will support you in the practice of your faith. Someone who believes the faith is false will undermine your faith and the faith of your children. Don’t put them in a spot to teach your children either the faith or what they think is true.

Putting it bluntly: If someone thinks the central truths guiding your life are false and dangerous, don’t whistle past the cemetery and hope that by pretending it is all about a merely philosophical difference it will never be a problem. This is not a difference about which way to hang the toilet paper. It is about who is the King of the Universe and what that has to do with how a human ought to live.

More to the point, you yourself hold the faith of centuries in your heart, a treasure handed to you through countless generations, the life-giving treasure of all treasures to hand on to your children. In view of all the pressures that will be on your children to abandon that faith, why would you not look for a helpmate who will help you to raise them in it truly, by being models of the Christian life?

You’re not going to convert all of France by marrying an avowed French atheist. Do both of you a favor and do your children a favor. Date someone else, someone who will love the Lord with her whole heart and soul and mind and love your neighbors as yourselves with you.
 
EasterJoy said:
Most people get all patriotic about stories that are more or less mythological. The French Revolution definitely falls into that category, but I wouldn’t single out the French to fault them for that.

Those of us who married non-Catholics can tell you this: Do not marry a non-believer who is not favorably disposed towards your religion. Someone who is non-religious not because they have something against religion but because they never learned it, that is one thing. That can be someone who will support you in the practice of your faith. Someone who believes the faith is false will undermine your faith and the faith of your children. Don’t put them in a spot to teach your children either the faith or what they think is true.

Putting it bluntly: If someone thinks the central truths guiding your life are false and dangerous, don’t whistle past the cemetery and hope that by pretending it is all about a merely philosophical difference it will never be a problem. This is not a difference about which way to hang the toilet paper. It is about who is the King of the Universe and what that has to do with how a human ought to live.

More to the point, you yourself hold the faith of centuries in your heart, a treasure handed to you through countless generations, the life-giving treasure of all treasures to hand on to your children. In view of all the pressures that will be on your children to abandon that faith, why would you not look for a helpmate who will help you to raise them in it truly, by being models of the Christian life?

You’re not going to convert all of France by marrying an avowed French atheist. Do both of you a favor and do your children a favor. Date someone else, someone who will love the Lord with her whole heart and soul and mind and love your neighbors as yourselves with you.
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I think that you should go find someone else personally. That doesn’t mean I don’t think you shouldn’t be friends with her but this isn’t someone you want to spend the rest of your life with at least not that I can see. I think that your girlfriend should read about Elisabeth Leseur, whose husband had a conversion after she died. For many years her husband Felix was an atheist. About one year after his wife’s death, he entered the Seminary and was eventually ordained a Dominican priest. Please note that this doesn’t happen as often as most of us would like. I want you to share the story with her and ask her why if he was a skeptical atheist freethinker. Why in the world he would have become a Catholic priest? I can only say that it was supernatural grace because of his wife’s example, since the reason he became a priest was because he found his wife’s diary. I don’t want you to say that to her I want you to ask her why she thinks that is though. atheists denying God’s existence does not make God unexist
 
Many atheists/cosmics French revolution become from enlightement .Is it true?But Enlightement is bad…I say this to my atheist girlfriend that enlightement and French revoloution are bad and she say tha she havent this opinion but she havent problem to go to church and she hasnt got problem who i am religious she love me she say that she know that Greek Catholics are very religious because she see many Greek Catholics to her holiday in Greece in Syros(in this island Greek Roman-type Catholics are 70% of population and Orthodox Greeks are 30% only…this is my island).I dont like other atheists and i havent got good opinion(all Greek Catholics hsve bad opinion) for French because they go out of Catholic Church and make Enlightement and French Revolution…But she is my girlfriend and we love…and she hasnt got problem who i believe the God…In Russia atheists in sobiet union are many but now disapeared and atheism destroy in Russia!Why not in France?Where is the feature of catholicism in France?Is it good as Russia or not?
 
Anton1000 said:
Many atheists/cosmics French revolution become from enlightement .Is it true?But Enlightement is bad…I say this to my atheist girlfriend that enlightement and French revoloution are bad and she say tha she havent this opinion but she havent problem to go to church and she hasnt got problem who i am religious she love me she say that she know that Greek Catholics are very religious because she see many Greek Catholics to her holiday in Greece in Syros(in this island Greek Roman-type Catholics are 70% of population and Orthodox Greeks are 30% only…this is my island).I dont like other atheists and i havent got good opinion(all Greek Catholics hsve bad opinion) for French because they go out of Catholic Church and make Enlightement and French Revolution…But she is my girlfriend and we love…and she hasnt got problem who i believe the God…In Russia atheists in sobiet union are many but now disapeared and atheism destroy in Russia!Why not in France?Where is the feature of catholicism in France?Is it good as Russia or not?
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It is a mistake to make something as huge as the Enlightenment out to be good or bad. It was a huge movement, it had some good effects and some bad effects. Which is better, Russia or France? What possible difference can it make? The final judgment will concern individual souls and the reading of hearts that is impossible for us. It won’t involve judging governments, though.

The question here is not the future of France or Russia but only your future, what your priorities are for your future, and whether or not you are leading a woman on when you’d be asking her to deny what she believes in order to raise your children according to your beliefs. Really, it goes both ways, too.

It is one thing to say “I don’t have a problem” with religion and quite another to say, “I’m going to teach my children to put beliefs at the center of their lives and decision-making that I think are charming but sometimes dangerous fairy tales.”
 
What must I do you ask.

While you are pursuing a higher education, it’s a great time to explore your faith more deeply as an adult. Have a look at the 4 cardinal virtues found here… vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a7.htm

Our faith is like a light that lights up the path. Read the virtues and try to work them into your daily life. Discuss one virtue with your girlfriend and see how that virtue can be lived during the week and discuss at the end of the week. Go to the next virtue and do the same, and see how the conversations go. Putting the virtues into the way you live your life is a smart plan. They serve us well through out our lives and there’s no regrets there.

My wish for you is to find a young woman who also has faith and that you can walk hand in hand together, building up each other, helping each other. This is the time when you should be making your faith your own, preparing a strong foundation that is Christ, the Rock. Maybe at the end of your studies you can go on pilgrimage, or visit one of Mother Teresa’s locations, spend time with them. Pray for your wife, that she grow in her faith, that God keep her safe, that you both are prepared to be good and holy spouses. When dating an unbeliever, it’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. God has something better for those who love him! Say Yes to that! God loves you!
 
Can i say to my girlfriend to speak about the bads of enlightement and French Revoloution and change her opinion?
 
Anton1000 said:
Can i say to my girlfriend to speak about the bads of enlightement and French Revoloution and change her opinion?
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That is not the way to bet.

She doesn’t believe in God. Forcing herself to admit that the French Revolution was a bloody monstrosity of anarchy run by greedy men for greedy reasons will not give her faith in God. It will merely teach her to have a lot less faith in men. That’s not a bad thing, but convincing her to give up her patriotic mythologies won’t make her into a Catholic.

Having said that, of course it would do no harm to read up on what really happened during the French Revolution and encouraging her to do the same. It isn’t a good thing to carry around romantic notions about our home countries, our families, or even our church that aren’t true. It leaves us too vulnerable to believing that those we love can do no wrong, and that is a near occasion of sin for those we trust beyond what is appropriate.
 
I say to my girlfriend to come with me in Grrece in Eastern holiday and meet my parents(i meet her oarents before a month) and to come with me in church who batized and speak with the proest or speak the priest in the church who go i and other Greek and Polish students here in Paris.She say if i want she havent got problem.It is good?
 
Anton,

it is obvious you are very much in love and are desperately looking for ways to change this girl and her beliefs. Most of us here are a bit older than you and more experienced. I agree with people who say that you will not convert someone by discussing politics and history. Her mind may change on these issues but she may still remain an atheist. Dragging her to church may backfire and she is completely put off.

But no convincing from our part will work. You can’t convince her and we can’t convince you. I hope this relationship does not lead you to sin and abandonment of your faith. People do crazy thigs for love- they even betray God. I have seen it many many times. Be assured of my prayers. I hope you find someone more suitable who will help you grow in faith.
 
A note, my friend. I have an ex-girlfriend who is technically by baptism, Catholic but who had become very anti-catholic and as far as I know Baptist (she is much the reason I am Catholic) and while I very much cared for her, I did not care for her trying to convince me that I was going to hell. I sympathise with you I really do but I think it might be better that you get rid of this girl. If you are able I still think you should be friends with her but dude this isn’t someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. With the girl I’m telling you about I couldn’t be friends with her, I tried. I’m a little bit older and you’re not too terribly much younger I’m still in my twenties but I have known this particular girl since I was let’s see 11th grade in high school. Dude, I know you care about her but sometimes it’s just not worth it
 
Anton1000 said:
I say to my girlfriend to come with me in Grrece in Eastern holiday and meet my parents(i meet her oarents before a month) and to come with me in church who batized and speak with the proest or speak the priest in the church who go i and other Greek and Polish students here in Paris.She say if i want she havent got problem.It is good?
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No, it is not good, even if she is willing to see the priest. Find a woman who already professes the Holy Catholic Faith.

One of my elementary school teachers (parish school), a Catholic at that time, was married to an atheist. Their oldest son was an atheist. Their youngest initially believed the Catholic Faith, even wanting to become the pope. Somewhere along the way he became anti-Catholic/Christian, as did his mother (my former teacher), judging from their social media.

If you care about the salvation of your future children, do not marry an unbeliever. It is very likely that the children will follow the unbelieving parent. My suggestion, further, is to marry a Catholic.

Finally, we as Catholics believe the family to be the “domestic Church”. What kind of “church”, then, do we have if the family cannot approach the holy chalice together or even pray at all together?
 
I dont believe that in couple who one of parents are atheists the childrens become atheists.I know many catholic christians who.was marriage atheists and their children are religious christian now.
 
Anton1000 said:
I dont believe that in couple who one of parents are atheists the childrens become atheists.I know many catholic christians who.was marriage atheists and their children are religious christian now.
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But why do you want to take that risk?
 
Anton1000 said:
I dont believe that in couple who one of parents are atheists the childrens become atheists.I know many catholic christians who.was marriage atheists and their children are religious christian now.
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Well, your girlfriend isn’t one of them. 🤷

Do you really want to spend your time arguing, convincing, cajoling and trying to turn your atheist girlfriend into a Catholic? It isn’t as if she came to you and asked you to help her. She is going along with things to keep the peace, and you.

Honestly, you both seem a little too willing to compromise your true beliefs. A real relationship should not be this difficult. When you let her go, you will free yourself to find someone that actually believes what you believe.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Well, your girlfriend isn’t one of them. 🤷

Do you really want to spend your time arguing, convincing, cajoling and trying to turn your atheist girlfriend into a Catholic? It isn’t as if she came to you and asked you to help her. She is going along with things to keep the peace, and you.

Honestly, you both seem a little too willing to compromise your true beliefs. A real relationship should not be this difficult. When you let her go, you will free yourself to find someone that actually believes what you believe.
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👍 bro, I think this is the best advice you’re going to get.
 
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