My friend is Bi

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Catherine365

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Hi guys! This is my first time posting on a forum so I apologize for anything I do wrong, let me know and I’ll correct it. This is going to be long.

My friend, whom I will call Abby, came out to me as bi a while back. She was really worried that I would condemn her (I’m Catholic) and not want to be friends anymore. I assured her that I would still be her friend. After I while, I asked a couple of questions just to get to know that part of her better. She said that if she met the woman of her dreams she would marry her and adopt children. I told her that that wasn’t right especially since she told me she was Catholic.

After that, she told me that she had a girlfriend but later broke up. Then she recently she told me a nice Catholic boy who went to a parish near her asked her out. She was extremely excited when she told me and I was super excited for her since I hoped they would hit it off and she wouldn’t want to marry a woman. But she got back to me after almost a week saying that she broke up with him because she told him that she was Bi and he said that was “disgusting.” Abby said that if he wasn’t going to accept that part of her then he doesn’t deserve her.

My question is is the guy wrong to have broken up with her for that? I think that he had his reason but our other friend who is also Catholic sides with Abby. I’m just not sure. I want to side with the guy but I know I’ll get backlash for that so I haven’t responded to the group chat. What suggestions do you guys have?
Thanks
 
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As far as I know, the Bible doesn’t say that you can’t be friends with a bisexual person. However, the Bible does say that homosexual relationships are sinful (Romans 1 and 1Corinthians 6). If she doesn’t know that, tell her. If she does know that but keeps on seeking a same sex relationship, that could mean that she has a hardened heart. That’s not to say that she’s hopeless, but she needs to get her act together.

This is not something that God is pleased with. Christ died to save us from homosexual relationships and acts. Ultimately you can’t force her to obey God, but you can pray for her. That’s what I would suggest; pray for her. I will pray for her too.
 
I wouldn’t have said it was “disgusting”, you can disapprove of something and use gentler words. His reasons for breaking up with her are his own, even though his word choice was not what I would use. You can tell Abby that he was wrong to use such harsh words, but he has the right to break up with whoever he wants to.
 
A person in a dating relationship is free to break up at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
How old are you guys?
 
When a couple is not married, one person is free to break off the relationship for any reason they want, and frequently they do. It is not for people outside the relationship to judge. If Abby is your friend then simply tell her that he wasn’t the right guy for her and better luck next time.

Going on about whether the guy was “wrong” is high school stuff. A lot of people don’t want a bi spouse. Other people don’t care, or would be willing to set that aside for the right person. The man is entitled to his preferences.
 
Is it still Spring Break someplace? This is the best story you could come up with? You can’t even keep straight who broke up with who. :roll_eyes:
Catherine365 said:
But she got back to me after almost a week saying that she broke up with him because she told him that she was Bi and he said that was “disgusting.” Abby said that if he wasn’t going to accept that part of her then he doesn’t deserve her.

My question is is the guy wrong to have broken up with her for that?
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Catherine365 said:
My question is is the guy wrong to have broken up with her for that?
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If one starts courting someone and the other person says they think they are Bisexual, then the person did well to break off the relationship.

Marriage can only be between one man and one woman. If your friend is having tempations to be with other women, she should practice chastity before settling down with a man.
 
Yes, it is not a good idea to break up with someone merely because they are bisexual. Unless they are polygamous, all bisexuals eventually pick a side, if you know what I mean. Now, if they are activist about it, then I can see where the problem arises. It’s hard to say I’m this situation because we are only getting her part of the story. Maybe he said having sex with both genders is disgusting and she got being bi is disgusting out of that.
 
Catherine365 said:
My question is is the guy wrong to have broken up with her for that?
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People are allowed to not date someone for any reason they want. If he doesn’t want to date a bisexual woman, that’s his call. He shouldn’t have called her disgusting; that’s just pointlessly rude.
 
redbetta said:
all bisexuals eventually pick a side
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This is a common misunderstanding but committing to a partner of a specific gender doesn’t mean they “settled” on that gender, but have chosen a person. If attraction went away infidelity wouldn’t be a problem for straight martied people.
 
I never said that they ceased being to other people. I am just saying that being bisexual does not mean they will cheat on you with a member of their own sex to get their fill or something. What is important is that they are attracted to YOU, not who else they are attracted to.
 
I went through the same situation as you are. My friend, from another church told me she was bi. I struggled with that immensely. He should not have been so harsh,what he said sounds really mean. But, he does have every right for breaking up with her. He stands by his beliefs and wants his partner to share the same values.
 
I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for him to break up because he is uncomfortable dating a person who is bisexual, but I do agree with your friend’s reasoning as well.
 
Goodness, how old are you all? Sounds like a lot of dramatics that aren’t needed, honestly.

I don’t think it really matters whether or not he was “right” to break up with her. You don’t need to side with anyone at all. In the grand scheme of things, this really doesn’t matter.

I’ll agree with the other posters that he shouldn’t have called her sexuality “disgusting”. I can certainly see why she wouldn’t want to date someone who thought that. But he can choose to date someone or not based off his own criteria as well.

Honestly, this isn’t worth the headspace.
 
The man has the right to choose whatever aspects he wants in his prospective bride. He was probably dating to marry so he told her what he thinks right then and there. She was just dating like you said. How is it his fault? Your friend seems extremely skillful in guilt tripping people (she made YOU feel guilty for something she herself was quiet about) and blaming it on others (like this guy).
So maybe if he would have liked her more he would have been quiet about it trying to change her mind and obviously didn’t like her all that much. He has that right imho.
 
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