My friend is offending me!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Joanne_ca
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Joanne_ca

Guest
I have a friend at work who is also my boss and I have to work closely with her 8 hours a day. I’ve known her for almost thirty years but it’s only been the last five years we have worked solely together. She has a nasty habit of taking Jesus name in vain, she uses his name like you would use the “f” word if you know what I mean. I keep telling her, she’s going to hell if she doesn’t stop. She knows it offends me but it’s a habit with her and I don’t know what to do. She comes from a Christian family and I tell her, “what would your mother say if she heard you say that?”. She said, she would be very upset but like I said, she can’t help herself. I need some advice, I don’t want to lose her friendship and especially since we have to work together. Can anyone give me some ideas on how I can handle this?

Thanks
 
Joanne–She knows how you feel. You can’t do any more in terms of changing her. You may want to consider what you can do for yourself so that you don’t get so upset. Recognize that she may never change. Clearly she has other redeeming characteristics. Say a prayer for her and for strength for yourself when she uses the Lord’s name in vain. You might allow yourself a small frown of disapproval so that she knows you noticed. But otherwise you should probably let it pass unnoticed–recognizing that you know, God knows, and she knows.
 
Whenever I hear the Lord’s name taken in vain I finish their statement with … Mary and Joseph. Most of the time it only takes me doing this 2 or 3 times and they stop!
 
Whenever she does it turn it into a prayer. “Jesus Christ!” " Praise His name!!!" (You say Praise His name- get it?) She’ll probably either stop or tell you its offending her. Then you can talk about how her taking your Lord’s name in vain offends you & how you asked her to stop & she wouldn’t.

Telling her she’s probably going to hell or asking how her mother would feel IMO isn’t the best approach. Makes you look judgemental.
 
40.png
BillFL:
Whenever I hear the Lord’s name taken in vain I finish their statement with … Mary and Joseph. Most of the time it only takes me doing this 2 or 3 times and they stop!
Click to expand...
You could just assume she is referring to some other Jesus, no differently than if she said “Oh, Bob”. Jesus was a name in common use in the ancient world and today somewhat less so.
 
When my boss says, “Jesus Christ!” I say, “Where!!??” And I start looking around for Him. It’s funny, it makes him laugh and realize that he shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vein.
 
40.png
Joanne_ca:
I have a friend at work who is also my boss and I have to work closely with her 8 hours a day. I’ve known her for almost thirty years but it’s only been the last five years we have worked solely together. She has a nasty habit of taking Jesus name in vain, she uses his name like you would use the “f” word if you know what I mean. I keep telling her, she’s going to hell if she doesn’t stop. She knows it offends me but it’s a habit with her and I don’t know what to do. She comes from a Christian family and I tell her, “what would your mother say if she heard you say that?”. She said, she would be very upset but like I said, she can’t help herself. I need some advice, I don’t want to lose her friendship and especially since we have to work together. Can anyone give me some ideas on how I can handle this?

Thanks
Click to expand...
I’m not defending taking the Lord’s name in vain, but I think ending your friendship is premature. Her habit in the end is between her and God. It makes you feel dirty, and I understand because I cringe when I hear people do that, but don’t tell her she is going to hell. That isn’t a very effective method for encouraging people to change their bad habits, and whether she goes to hell or not isn’t up to you. When you hear her use that talk, just say something like “hey, not around me!” If she never gets the hint, then you did all you could do, and in the end it is up to God what to do with her language.
 
I love the suggestions that you respond with “Mary and Joseph”! Create an opportunity for prayer where it is especially needed.

I agree with those who have suggested that telling her she’s going to Hell is not likely to help, no more than asking what her mother would think.

If she’s open to it, after you’ve made her more aware of what she’s doing by turning it into the prayer that should be said in His name, you might suggest she substitute saying the Lord’s name in vain with another word.

For me, I say “Jiminy Crickets”. I know it sounds corny, but you know what, for me, it works. I don’t take the Lord’s name in vain (ok, if I’m in serious pain, like when I crushed my leg), I’ve been known to fling a few words, phrases and curses that shouldn’t cross my lips. I pray that the confessions I’ve been to since have covered this sin, as I truly desire to be free from this sin.)

Know that you’re in our prayers,

CARose
 
40.png
Joanne_ca:
She said, she would be very upset but like I said, she can’t help herself. I need some advice, I don’t want to lose her friendship and especially since we have to work together. Can anyone give me some ideas on how I can handle this?

Thanks
Click to expand...
If the lemonade approaches as suggested in the above posts do not work, then I would confront her in a more constructive manner. She can help herself, **if **she wants to. You also need to determine how far are you willing to go to have the sacred name of Jesus respected in the workplace, friendship aside.

I suggest that you objectify the situation a bit, say, that another coworker who you do not have a personal history with were the offending party–how would you then proceed to have this insensitive behavior exterminated? Start informally in your request, explaining matter of factly how this verbal behavior offends you, and to document your reprimands. If persists, then present a written request based on documented observations and prior informal efforts to have this behavior extinguished. If persists, or reoccurs to same pattern, then approach her boss with your request and what expectation that this offensive behavior will be eliminated…simply up the anty, up the ladder of command, until you are satisfied.

Remember, to defend the sacred name of Jesus is at it’s core a spiritual battle with the Enemy who seeks to defile all that is holy. Don’t let others deter or pooh, pooh your concerns.
 
Make a silent reparation to the Holy Name (“Glory to the Holy Name of Jesus”). Pray for her. Pray for all who misuse the Sweet Holy Name.
 
40.png
JKirkLVNV:
Make a silent reparation to the Holy Name (“Glory to the Holy Name of Jesus”). Pray for her. Pray for all who misuse the Sweet Holy Name.
Click to expand...
:clapping: :clapping: :amen: :clapping: :clapping:
 
:rotfl: :rotfl:
40.png
StratusRose:
When my boss says, “Jesus Christ!” I say, “Where!!??” And I start looking around for Him. It’s funny, it makes him laugh and realize that he shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vein.
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl:

I love it!
 
40.png
felra:
If the lemonade approaches as suggested in the above posts do not work, then I would confront her in a more constructive manner. She can help herself, **if **she wants to. You also need to determine how far are you willing to go to have the sacred name of Jesus respected in the workplace, friendship aside.

I suggest that you objectify the situation a bit, say, that another coworker who you do not have a personal history with were the offending party–how would you then proceed to have this insensitive behavior exterminated? Start informally in your request, explaining matter of factly how this verbal behavior offends you, and to document your reprimands. If persists, then present a written request based on documented observations and prior informal efforts to have this behavior extinguished. If persists, or reoccurs to same pattern, then approach her boss with your request and what expectation that this offensive behavior will be eliminated…simply up the anty, up the ladder of command, until you are satisfied.

Remember, to defend the sacred name of Jesus is at it’s core a spiritual battle with the Enemy who seeks to defile all that is holy. Don’t let others deter or pooh, pooh your concerns.
Click to expand...
If you take this tack, then, before you do, get your resume out and update it. Retaliatory firing and /or bad job evaluations are a fact of life. If it is worth it to you, go for it. But at least, go at it with your eyes open.
 
I have to say I’m embarressed to admit this a terrible habit of mine, I think I picked it up from my dad growing up who is a good person but not generally religious. I remember the first time I said it in my friends house at 13 years of age. My friend froze horrified. I didn’t really get what the big deal was, I didn’t think of it as swearing.

Ofcourse I understand now, but it stills flies out sometimes when I angry. I don’t even think about it. I also say God **** it when I hurt myself sometimes.:o It comes up at every confession. I’m really not a bad person honest. It’s a terrible habit I’ve developed that I’m having a hard time shaking. I do think some peoples responses were really great (and funny). I would try some of them with your friend, better than the going to hell thing. I doubt she’s trying to be offensive to you on purpose.
 
Thank you all for your suggestions. I don’t think I can change her, it’s a habit but I will try a few. I’ve always been taught that this is one of the worst things you can say against God, so I’ve never said it but I do have a few bad habits myself and I know how hard they are to break. I’m going to pray for her and I will try some of your suggestions. Thanks again
 
40.png
otm:
If you take this tack, then, before you do, get your resume out and update it. Retaliatory firing and /or bad job evaluations are a fact of life. If it is worth it to you, go for it. But at least, go at it with your eyes open.
Click to expand...
True, you definitely need to assess how far you are willing to go to defend the sacred name of Jesus, and the potential consequences. If serious consequences lurk, then discernement through prayerfulness and counsel of others is in order. However, remember, to be more than a cultural Catholic/Christian in the workplace, to be the salt in this world, to be the light shining on the hill, incumbent with this is rejection, attack, loss via persecution. This is the cost of discipleship, white martyrdom that the faithful followers of Christ throughout the ages have experienced. While picking and chooosing your battles in obedience to Christ, being “peaceable as doves and shrewd as serpents”.

I know from my own experience, I could initially handle only small doses of standing out for Christ in the workplace, and God only called me to do what I could handle or the grace affored to me. But over time, God is growing in me holy and humble boldness/courage to stand for the truth amongst a mixed audience.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top