My friend told me his wife got her tubes tied and that he got a vasectomy

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Le_Crouton

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Okay so after he had 4 kids they decided to do this. All are catholic. When he told me I didn’t say anything about it. I think he knows the church’s position. Unsure. Am I obligated to say anything to him about this? Should I just let it go?
 
Your friend is an adult.
Did he ask you for your opinion or that of the Church?
If not, it is not your place to say anything.
 
Then, if you want to stay friends, I suggest you stay out of it.
You have no obligation to “correct” them. The best thing is to pray for them.
 
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I would give them both the benefit of the doubt and not assume that they sinned. Inform them of Church teaching if they ask but do not do it without being asked. It would likely be seen as rude or pompous.
 
Le_Crouton said:
Am I obligated to say anything to him about this?
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In general, we aren’t obligated. Fraternal correction depends on several factors. Sometimes we should speak up, other times it could do more harm than good.
Le_Crouton said:
Should I just let it go?
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Depends on how good your friendship is, what you might say, and what your goal is.

Since they already completed the procedures, it’s a bit different than if he had come to you before they did it.
 
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Thanks. That’s what I thought. Just wanted to make sure.
 
I never understand why people feel the need to share these things with others. :roll_eyes: I don’t care if it is a close friend or a relative, I don’t need or want to know, and I sure as anything are not telling them about myself.

If he is Catholic, he knows. He may not believe it, he may not “remember it,” or he may think he is somehow justified.

But it is not your concern.
 
I often have this dilemma (not just about contraception but about teachings of the church). I feel not saying anything is easier for me and it feels like I should not jump on the easy wagon. I let things slide sometimes and I pray for another opportunity when I can explain things better. If it arrives I try to explain the teachings of the church. A lot of times I pray that person comes to a full understanding of the faith because that is when we truly accept things, that they are for our own good and we gladly sacrifice even when difficult. I do understand you a lot, I know a lot of people say we should mind our business but I never feel good, it feels like my silence is acceptance. But I know not every occasion is right to speak. So I try to pray when I keep quiet.
 
If he feels the need to share his own business, I think you have the right to share your thoughts. Remind him of church teaching.
 
I didn’t post this because I thought I was obligated. Just wanted other opinions. I won’t bring it up. Thank you
 
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Vasectomies can sometimes fail. I guess they wanted to be extra “safe”.
 
This is a irreversible procedure for all intents and purposes.
If it ever comes up, I see no harm in informing them if they’re unaware of the Church’s teachings on this.
The only thing that you should really be doing right now, is praying for them, and for the Church as a whole.
To answer your question directly, I’d say to just let it go. There’s nothing that can be done to change what was done.
 
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