My friend's family are pressuring her not to convert to Catholicism

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Hey everyone. I have a friend whose name is Kary. Well, her family members are pressuring her not to convert to Catholicism. RCIA starts this Sunday and Kary has expressed to me privately numerous times that she wants to convert to Catholicism so she is planning to go to RCIA with me as her sponsor starting this Sunday. I would greatly appreciate advice in how to handle this as this is the first time I have ever sponsored a person through RCIA.

How can I help keep Kary firm on her decision to convert to Catholicism? Also, please pray for Kary that she would be able to convert to Catholicism.
 
If Kary is a minor, you should not encourage to convert to Catholicism against the express wishes of her parents. There is a commandment about that somewhere. If Kary is an adult living in her parents’ house, you as her sponsor may need to think about where Kary will live if things get ugly after she converts or even just pursues conversion.

If Kary is an autonomous and independent adult, she will have to resist familial pressure. You could try helping her make social connections in your Catholic circles in order to counteract the pressures and criticism she may be receiving from her family. Also, you may encourage her to share her positive faith-experiences of RCIA with her family, rather than concealing her participation, or–depending on the severity of their objections–encourage her to keep it a private affair until the deed is done.

God bless you as you guide your friend to a responsible and mature decision about her faith.
 
In my parish RCIA program
(You don’t mention the age of the person… minors should not be encouraged to defy their parents. They will be of age soon enough.)

Number One Rule:
What happens in RCIA stays in RCIA.
We do not disclose at anytime who is or is not part of the program to anyone until the Rite of Welcoming… even then only for those that actually partake in that Rite would we acknowledge their intent publicly to become Catholic (seriously, once they stand in front of the entire Parish… the cat’s out of the bag 😃 )
Otherwise, IF we encounter each other outside of RCIA then we treat it as if you would any chance meeting with a friend or acquaintance and RCIA is off the table as a topic unless they bring it up and we only discuss their questions and not as it relates to anyone else within the group. Family and Peer pressure is a very real and often negative situation and we try not to add to that harm in any way.

Number Two Rule:
The inquirent is allowed to leave at any point in time and to return at any point in time… of course, if the leave it may delay entry into the Church; however, that’s where the Deacons and the Pastor step in to handle things.

IMHO: Your role as a sponsor is that of a “God Parent”
  • Preach the Gospel daily… use words when necessary.
  • Be their watchman as this Sunday’s first reading charges us to be for all.
  • Be their strength if the family turns on them, especially once they take that final step to announce their faith. Nothing worse than a parent turning their back on their child.
  • Help them to find social relationships with other practicing Catholics.
  • Help them to understand their new faith by authentic teaching of the Catholic faith, if you don’t have the answer, it’s a good question for the entire RCIA group 🙂
PRAY
Unending prayer.
 
Thank you all very much for your advice!

Here is a little extra information about Kary. She is disabled and is also learning disabled. However, she does live with her husband here at the apartments. She has repeatedly expressed her desire to convert to Catholicism. I talked to her mother about it earlier and she said that Kary needs to make her own decision which she has. Her mother seems to be okay with me taking her to RCIA. However, Kary’s sister is opposed to it and voiced opposition earlier. She was saying that Kary did not want to go when in fact this was not true. Kary told me before and after and has not changed on this that she wants to become Catholic and intends to stay Catholic for her entire life. I am not sure what the rest of her family thinks.

Any further advice would be appreciated and please also pray for this intention!
 
Holly3278 said:
Thank you all very much for your advice!

Here is a little extra information about Kary. She is disabled and is also learning disabled. However, she does live with her husband here at the apartments. She has repeatedly expressed her desire to convert to Catholicism. I talked to her mother about it earlier and she said that Kary needs to make her own decision which she has. Her mother seems to be okay with me taking her to RCIA. However, Kary’s sister is opposed to it and voiced opposition earlier. She was saying that Kary did not want to go when in fact this was not true. Kary told me before and after and has not changed on this that she wants to become Catholic and intends to stay Catholic for her entire life. I am not sure what the rest of her family thinks.

Any further advice would be appreciated and please also pray for this intention!
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Sisters can be a real pain on a bad day, but maybe she feels defensive of Kary, as if she is being tricked somehow, and compelled to intervene. How would Kary’s sister feel about going with you, to safeguard the wellbeing of her learning-disabled sibling?
 
1newcatholic said:
Sisters can be a real pain on a bad day, but maybe she feels defensive of Kary, as if she is being tricked somehow, and compelled to intervene. How would Kary’s sister feel about going with you, to safeguard the wellbeing of her learning-disabled sibling?
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Yeah I am thinking that she is defensive of her. As for how she’d feel about going, I have no idea.
 
=Holly3278;12321352]Hey everyone. I have a friend whose name is Kary. Well, her family members are pressuring her not to convert to Catholicism. RCIA starts this Sunday and Kary has expressed to me privately numerous times that she wants to convert to Catholicism so she is planning to go to RCIA with me as her sponsor starting this Sunday. I would greatly appreciate advice in how to handle this as this is the first time I have ever sponsored a person through RCIA.
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How can I help keep Kary firm on her decision to convert to Catholicism? Also, please pray for Kary that she would be able to convert to Catholicism.
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Pray MUCH

Know well and SHARE the FACTS of our faith, especially how the bible proves it.👍
 
Keep showing Kary and her sister God’s Love. Your life is more likely to win them both over.
 
=Holly3278;12321352]Hey everyone. I have a friend whose name is Kary. Well, her family members are pressuring her not to convert to Catholicism. RCIA starts this Sunday and Kary has expressed to me privately numerous times that she wants to convert to Catholicism so she is planning to go to RCIA with me as her sponsor starting this Sunday. I would greatly appreciate advice in how to handle this as this is the first time I have ever sponsored a person through RCIA.
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How can I help keep Kary firm on her decision to convert to Catholicism? Also, please pray for Kary that she would be able to convert to Catholicism.
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Awesome!
Thanks:thumbsup:

As a trained and certified Marian Catechist I have MANY lessons that I ca share with you for your friend. ALL FREE of all cost.

Just pick a topic like the Primacy or the "Key’s to the kingdom for example and provide an e-mail address I can use.

Please let me know if I can be of help.
KEEP UP HE GREAT WORK!

Patrick {PJM}
 
Hi everyone. I have bad news. Kary’s family refuses to let her convert to Catholicism or even to go to the classes. 😦
 
Holly3278 said:
(from earlier post: )She is disabled and is also learning disabled. However, she does live with her husband here at the apartments. </…>]

Hi everyone. I have bad news. Kary’s family refuses to let her convert to Catholicism or even to go to the classes. 😦
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This includes the husband?
We run into the issue of your friend’s level of mental competency. As we’re not there, and I fear many of us are not experts in the field; thus, we have no way of knowing if your friend is competent enough to make the choice and to defy her family with full knowledge and understanding of the consequences.

What I would do is attempt to talk with the husband first. Offer to take just him to the classes first so that he can see what is going on during the process. Keep in mind that there is a lot of misinformation amongst some of our protestant faiths about the Catholic Church.

then pray.
all you can do is pray.

-z
 
z_0101 said:
This includes the husband?
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I’ve been wondering this myself from when I first read op…

There is no rush. Some people spend years in RICA and never actually convert. You may want to give some space to this situation until everyone can relax a bit.
 
Some people spend years in RICA and never actually convert. You may want to give some space to this situation until everyone can relax a bit.
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:ehh:
 
Holly3278 said:
Hi everyone. I have bad news. Kary’s family refuses to let her convert to Catholicism or even to go to the classes. 😦
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It might be best to continue your friendship of Kari and offer her encouragement to look into the faith so that she doesn’t drop the idea.

I believe if Kary really wants this bad enough, then she will let her feelings be known to her family now and then. Especially how much she wants this and how disappointed and downhearted she is that she isn’t going. Over time, this may wear on them and bring them to the point of letting her attend classes. I would favor this approach rather than making a scene or have you involved in it.

I would also get Kary a miraculous medal and chain, have it blessed so Kary can wear it. She then can say a little prayer to Mary every day to bring this about. If others object about the medal, just tell them it is a picture straight from the bible. The picture is in Genesis, and about the woman with the crown of twelve stars above her head. Mary promised GREAT and ABUNDANT graces if the person asks and trusts her.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
=without;12354373]Converting is not like buying a car… no need to do it right now. If this has caused a crisis in the family why push the point? Let everyone have time and perhaps doors will open.
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WHY INDEED? 🙂

Because there is but One true God {the 1st Commandment}

Who has {and can have} only One true set of faith beliefs Eph. 4:1-7

In and through the only Church God founded, guides, guards and warrants:thumbsup:

Because Christ choose to give ALL of the keys to heavens access to Peter and through him, to his Catholic Church; we Catholics have the Seven Sacraments ALL instituted by Christ Himself. In the GIFT of Catholic Holy Communion we are united with the very Person of Christ. He is us; and we in Him;)😉 There is no better reason to be a Catholic.
Mt. 28:18-20 & John 17:17-19

And because this reality of Christ exist only in the Churches He has granted DIRECT Apostolic Succession {mt. 28:16-20 & Mk.16:14-15}; there is an urgency to converting to Catholicism:).

God can do any good thing. So let us pray!
 
and yet if the issue is pushed, then we do harm to the family, thus, helping no one.
IMHO, patience and prayer is what is called for not kid-napping the friend down to the parish center to attend RCIA.
God sees this, and he will see into her heart, and he will know best.

I agree that maybe a pause in the message, and then work with the husband, gently. Personally, I’d work it thru the RCIA class. Perhaps a few of Scot Hahn’s books
Rome Sweet Rome comes to mind. could show up in the home.

and pray.
PJM said:
WHY INDEED? 🙂

Because there is but One true God {the 1st Commandment}

Who has {and can have} only One true set of faith beliefs Eph. 4:1-7

In and through the only Church God founded, guides, guards and warrants:thumbsup:

Because Christ choose to give ALL of the keys to heavens access to Peter and through him, to his Catholic Church; we Catholics have the Seven Sacraments ALL instituted by Christ Himself. In the GIFT of Catholic Holy Communion we are united with the very Person of Christ. He is us; and we in Him;)😉 There is no better reason to be a Catholic.
Mt. 28:18-20 & John 17:17-19

And because this reality of Christ exist only in the Churches He has granted DIRECT Apostolic Succession {mt. 28:16-20 & Mk.16:14-15}; there is an urgency to converting to Catholicism:).

God can do any good thing. So let us pray!
Click to expand...
 
Could it be that Kary’s family are concerned about contraception? If she is learning-disabled, could they fear that she will have too many children and too quickly, and then her family will have to step in and look after them?
 
=z_0101;12359627]and yet if the issue is pushed, then we do harm to the family, thus, helping no one.
IMHO, patience and prayer is what is called for not kid-napping the friend down to the parish center to attend RCIA.
God sees this, and he will see into her heart, and he will know best.
Click to expand...
I agree that maybe a pause in the message, and then work with the husband, gently. Personally, I’d work it thru the RCIA class. Perhaps a few of Scot Hahn’s books
Rome Sweet Rome comes to mind. could show up in the home.
Click to expand...
and pray.
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God has created man in His Own Image. Gen. 1:26-27 …WHY

So that we are enabled to freely choose to Know, Love and Serve Him. It’s a Trinity of responsibility. And like the Trinity, three separate but unable to be separated elements.

We are to SERVE God by being his body here on earth. A body that prays and SPEAKS for Him.

If God grants the necessarily grace to someone to Convert; it is a great gift not to be squandered. So We ARE to support the grace and the opportunity; BUT never force one to Convert. There is but One True God; One True Faith and One True Church, which is the access to heaven.

If we can expedite RCIA, then we ought to do that:)

God Bless you,
PAtrick
 
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