My good brother / father of six

[litany]

my brother has been in and out of our island’s correctional facility for drug abuse and family violence. my family has given up on him. their only comment about him is, “he got himself into it, let him get himself out.”
my brother has finally let our LORD light his candle but he hasn’t fully place his lighted candle at the foot of our Lord Jesus’s cross. Because of this i am so worried that his dimly lit candle will blow out. over and over again, i’ve have asked my practicing Catholic family to help me with my brother but no one wants to help him or seem to even care. my heart aches knowing this, should i let my brother know about how the family feels or should i just keep quiet? he is made to believe by my family that they want to help him change, yet they’ve told me the opposite. what should i do? tell my brother the truth or have him keep believing that the family cares?

 

[LoneRanger]

litany:

my brother has been in and out of our island’s correctional facility for drug abuse and family violence. my family has given up on him. their only comment about him is, “he got himself into it, let him get himself out.”
my brother has finally let our LORD light his candle but he hasn’t fully place his lighted candle at the foot of our Lord Jesus’s cross. Because of this i am so worried that his dimly lit candle will blow out. over and over again, i’ve have asked my practicing Catholic family to help me with my brother but no one wants to help him or seem to even care. my heart aches knowing this, should i let my brother know about how the family feels or should i just keep quiet? he is made to believe by my family that they want to help him change, yet they’ve told me the opposite. what should i do? tell my brother the truth or have him keep believing that the family cares?

i see no value in educating your brother with the knowledge you mention… i do see a value in your continued support, and who knows, your family may follow your example…

keeps others private discussion with you private… you would not want them betraying something you had confided in them…

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

litany:

should i let my brother know about how the family feels or should i just keep quiet? he is made to believe by my family that they want to help him change, yet they’ve told me the opposite. what should i do? tell my brother the truth or have him keep believing that the family cares?

It is very likely that your family does care about your brother. It is also very likely that they are extremely upset and frustrated by his situation. They have watched him “get himself into it…” many times over. Each time you see someone you love hurting themselves by making very bad choices it gets harder and harder to keep reaching out to them.

I take it as a very good sign that your family has* not* told him what they told you. It means there is still hope. But they are trying to protect themselves from being hurt again too.

You obviously have been given a gift of more compassion than alot of other people… use it! Do not tell your brother anything that would hurt him. Telling him that the rest of the family has given up on him may throw him into despair and hopelessness. That is the last thing you want for your brother.

Also, what about your brothers family? It sounds as though he had a wife and children? Are you being as compassionate towrds them as you are to their abuser? Just a thought.

Malia