My Handicapped Son

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puzzleannie:
very true, but we are discussing a case in a family that belongs to the latin rite, so I don’t think further discussion in this vein will be helpful to this parent
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Your right, but further discussion might help me reconcile this difference between our Churches.

I can also help those who disagree with this Canon to understand it.
 
My father is a Catholic priest (used to be Anglican).

There was a situation at his parish a few years ago. There was a 16 year old boy with Down Syndrome who would sometimes serve at the alter in a limited capacity. He desperately wanted to go to confession, have holy communion and be confirmed - he loved the Lord and was very devote. He was told by others at the parish that he shouldn’t be because he couldn’t have an adult understanding of the sacrement.

My fathers position was that it would be cruel to deny this boy the sacrement when he loves the Lord so dearly. When it is a child who has no chance of ever developing any further intellectually then we should be kind enough to allow that child to recieve the Lord and the Holy Spirit fully. He did have confession, though his sins were not likely mortal, and confessed to the best of his ability his wrongs. He then recieved communion and had his confirmation. What a shining example God gave us in that child. Is his faith less because he has an intellectual handicap? He had become as mature as he was ever going to be and that was enough.

I think that giving your child Holy Communion is one of the kindest and dearest things you could do for him. As long as it was always done in a reverend manner then I see no harm at all. Does a persons intellectual capacity effect the state of their soul?
 
As far as the laws of the church are concerned, i am unable to debate this part. What i offer here is a mothers point of view only. I have a 19 year old, that last year we lost. I also have a 5 and 7 year old. Their desires to please the Lord have been noticable at the age of three. They have discussions with him, call upon him, ask for guidence and beg for help when they are afraid. He is a part of their everyday existance. I see the Host as a spiritual food. We hunger for it, we are fed by it, and the more we have of it, the stronger we become.

This might not be fact, but it is my very humbled oppinion. My children are speaking of this (1st communion) for a few years now and wish to have the holy power that comes with this. They do not wish this because others are recieving it. Remember, i am not debating this issue, i am saying that for anyone to dismiss the understanding and desires of a child, is missing a true understanding of how honestly and deeply young children love the Lord. Also, having a terminally ill child (my oldest), there are so many times when they go through so much that is over and above what we can understand. (longevity) They can only deal with this if given the tools, to deal with this often. Only then can they accept gods plan as their indevidual one. They are stronger spiritually than many others can be. Crisis leads us to search our hearts, and they can at young ages…i’ve seen it!
 
Your son is truly an angel here on earth. Yes, let him recieve communion. I held my 4 yr old son back when he wanted to recieve communion at his grandfathers funeral. The celebrant, my fathers cousin, admonished me after mass. He said that my son was free of all sin at that age and wanting to recieve was enough. Fr. was upset at the “rules” of the church concerning recieving communion at age 7 and felt that if young children could recieve, they would be better prepared to live a good and holy life. My young son was not dev. disabled, but probably about the same “cognitive” level as your son.

God bless you and your family.

Love and Peace:)
 
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Lanasshoebox:
As far as the laws of the church are concerned, i am unable to debate this part. What i offer here is a mothers point of view only. I have a 19 year old, that last year we lost. I also have a 5 and 7 year old. Their desires to please the Lord have been noticable at the age of three. They have discussions with him, call upon him, ask for guidence and beg for help when they are afraid. He is a part of their everyday existance. I see the Host as a spiritual food. We hunger for it, we are fed by it, and the more we have of it, the stronger we become.

This might not be fact, but it is my very humbled oppinion. My children are speaking of this (1st communion) for a few years now and wish to have the holy power that comes with this. They do not wish this because others are recieving it. Remember, i am not debating this issue, i am saying that for anyone to dismiss the understanding and desires of a child, is missing a true understanding of how honestly and deeply young children love the Lord. Also, having a terminally ill child (my oldest), there are so many times when they go through so much that is over and above what we can understand. (longevity) They can only deal with this if given the tools, to deal with this often. Only then can they accept gods plan as their indevidual one. They are stronger spiritually than many others can be. Crisis leads us to search our hearts, and they can at young ages…i’ve seen it!
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Well Christ even said that we are to be ‘like children’ not childlike or childish.

The desire of your two youngest really should be that spark you need. You can really see the heart of your children by what they say and do. You still have your blessings, those two angels with you now.
Don’t ever lose heart!
 
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puzzleannie:
like it or not, canon law for the Latin Rite states that to receive holy communion the individual must have reached the age of reason, and be properly prepared and disposed, and the test of readiness is not thorough grasp of all Catholic doctrine, but the ability to distinguish between ordinary bread and wine and the Eucharistic species, belief and understanding, according to one’s capacity, that the Eucharist is indeed the real, sacramentally present Body and Blood of Jesus, and express a desire to receive the sacrament, and not under any canonical bar to the sacraments.

If you disagree with this canon, might as well disagree with all of them. Make up your mind. As I have said many times, I believe the Eastern Rite practice reflects better the theology of the sacraments of initiation, however, I am not in charge.

The differences arose from historical as much as doctrinal reasons, which will have to be dealt with if and when the rules are changed.

The difficulty comes in interpreting “prepared” “disposed” and “understanding” too strictly in regards to the capacity of the individual, and there the canon says to err on the side of conferring the sacrament. Baptism and confirmation should never be delayed on the basis of a handicap, physical or mental.
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i’ve seen this a number of times now in this discussion, and read it in the CCC… look at it… think about it… i don’t understand how this could be used to deny anyone communion based on their ability to understand…

🙂
 
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Edwin1961:
The desire of your two youngest really should be that spark you need. You can really see the heart of your children by what they say and do. You still have your blessings, those two angels with you now.
Don’t ever lose heart!
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I believe in them more than myself. I really do, but the loss has held me back from personally thriving. With the girls, i am fine, am there for them, i have simply lost my exuberence in life. I laugh, i play, i have fun…but i do not feel Joy…that magical joy that lifts you and makes you want to be alive. I felt that in the presence of my son…he was a godly person…he brought the guest to supper, to the movies, to the park…he brought God with him always, and never once mentioned to me that he did. I simply felt it to be so.
 
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