My husband had an affair; what do I do?

[Love31]

I just recently found out that my husband has been having an affair. This has been a horrible experience. My feelings are shot and my heart hurts. We have been praying together to try to reconcile. He has prayed for the Lords forgiveness and mine. I still love him and I do feel that he loves me. Things have been better than they have in years since I found out of the affair. We figured out that we both had issues in our marriage and feel that we can make this work. We both are having a terrible time with our emotions. I feel depreased, sad, angry and unsure of myself. He feels ashamed, embarassed and angry for causing this much pain and for being weak. I really do feel that he is regretful for his choice. Will this really work? Am I being a fool? We need lots of prayers.

 

[Peggy_Frye]

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your husband. This is a difficult cross.

Will your marriage work out? Working through the trauma and pain of infidelity will take time and commitment, but with God’s grace, and with your strong commitment to work things out, there is great hope! As for the emotional struggles, you can expect those to stay around for awhile. How can anything this traumatic not have a strong emotional component? It’s normal to feel depressed, sad, angry and unsure of yourself. Adultery causes unspeakable emotional pain. But, praise God, where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more!

I encourage you and your husband to frequent the sacraments of Confession and Eucharist. I also strongly recommend you seek counseling. Dr. Greg Popcak (POP-chak) of The Pastoral Solutions Institute offers counseling resources that might prove helpful. You also might want to see if there’s a Retrouvaille ministry in your area retrouvaille.org/. Retrouvaille is designed to help couples heal and renew their marriages. Your priest could provide some direction as well.

Lastly, I recommend you get acquainted with St. Catherine of Genoa. She too, was a victim of marital infidelity. catholic-forum.com/SAINTS/saintc35.htm
My prayers will be with you and your husband. God bless you both!