My kids are addicted to TV!

[TacyLou]

I made a resolution last night after my children were in bed that we are turning off the “boob tube”. I’ve had it with looking into my children’s glassy eyes and realizing they have the attention spans of gnats! I am sick and tired (did I just hear Mom?) of hearing them regurgitate comebacks they’ve learned from cartoons. My oldest (6) actually had silent tears streaming down her face this morning when I broke the news; not a tantrum, just that “My heart is broken” kind of cry. She’s gonna lose it when she figures out I’ve unplugged the TV. It makes me sad to see that she doesn’t seem to know how to play by herself, anymore.

So, ***PLEASE,***help me succeed in my resolution. I need advice on how to overcome the withdrawals I know are in my future!
I know this syndrome is one of my own making. I’m a TV junkie, myself, but I’m ready to correct it! Help me out!

Thanks!

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Boy, we struggle with this, too, and it seems to be getting worse.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had good luck with having a single day a week on which the kids were allowed to watch TV. Whatever they wanted to watch had to be taped to watch then. It seems to have worked very well.

I used to save television for a time of day when the kids were tired, tempers were short, and I had to get dinner on the table. Again, only taped shows with no commercials. We may yet go back to that.

The other thing I have discovered is that the kids play on their own better and don’t get bored so fast when they’ve had enough sleep and aren’t allowed to get off schedule as to meals. They also need one-on-one time. So you might try replacing what you’re taking away with more time with you, open access to art supplies, rain gear for more backyard play (if you have a backyard) or park play, and “open ended” toys, that kind of thing. That is, a little carrot action with the old stick.

 

[dhgray]

TacyLou:

I made a resolution last night after my children were in bed that we are turning off the “boob tube”. I’ve had it with looking into my children’s glassy eyes and realizing they have the attention spans of gnats! I am sick and tired (did I just hear Mom?) of hearing them regurgitate comebacks they’ve learned from cartoons. My oldest (6) actually had silent tears streaming down her face this morning when I broke the news; not a tantrum, just that “My heart is broken” kind of cry. She’s gonna lose it when she figures out I’ve unplugged the TV. It makes me sad to see that she doesn’t seem to know how to play by herself, anymore.

So, ***PLEASE,***help me succeed in my resolution. I need advice on how to overcome the withdrawals I know are in my future!
I know this syndrome is one of my own making. I’m a TV junkie, myself, but I’m ready to correct it! Help me out!

Thanks!

My sister disconnected the cable and antena. They use strictly DVD and Tapes now and she keeps them locked up (for special days).

 

[Mac6yver]

BLB_Oregon:

Boy, we struggle with this, too, and it seems to be getting worse.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had good luck with having a single day a week on which the kids were allowed to watch TV. Whatever they wanted to watch had to be taped to watch then. It seems to have worked very well.

I used to save television for a time of day when the kids were tired, tempers were short, and I had to get dinner on the table. Again, only taped shows with no commercials. We may yet go back to that.

The other thing I have discovered is that the kids play on their own better and don’t get bored so fast when they’ve had enough sleep and aren’t allowed to get off schedule as to meals. They also need one-on-one time. So you might try replacing what you’re taking away with more time with you, open access to art supplies, rain gear for more backyard play (if you have a backyard) or park play, and “open ended” toys, that kind of thing. That is, a little carrot action with the old stick.

You take the time to edit out the commercials?

 

[TacyLou]

BLB_Oregon:

I used to save television for a time of day when the kids were tired, tempers were short, and I had to get dinner on the table. Again, only taped shows with no commercials. We may yet go back to that.

Unfortunately, that’s kind of how I got in this mess. For the past two years, my husband has been activated with the National Guard (Thank you, Lord, for keeping him in the States!), so I hate to admit that the television has become a sort of babysitter. On the three days that I work, the kids plop down to watch to TV while I cook dinner and get some winding down time. But, it has gotten so far out of hand, that the older daughter turns the TV on before the sleep has cleared from her eyes.

I know that I’m going to have to teach her how to entertain herself, and I’m looking for ideas on how to start the process. Once I see things improving, I’ll use the TV as a reward, rather than restriction from TV as the punishment.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Mac6yver:

You take the time to edit out the commercials?

On PBS, the commercials are all at the beginning and the end. Start the tape when the show starts, then when it’s over, back up the tape to the end of the show before taping more.

Nick, Jr. used to be this way, but they’ve added something like an “intermission” in the middle of some of their shows. These are a pain to take out. Luckily, our boys like three shows M-F on PBS, and that is more than enough to keep us in “new” entertainment. (There are worse things than keeping a video library that has the possibility of getting boring.)

It is some work to edit, but not having commercial messages to contend with is worth it. I keep the VCR on the food channel or the home channel (the “life is food” and “your home isn’t good enough” channels), in case I’m not in the room when the tape ends… those channels don’t advertise toys or show airplanes hitting buildings as news trailers. And hey, they show married men cooking and picking paint colors, that’s not all bad!

 

[La_Chiara]

tacy lou–This is a prime opportunity to start reading to your children and getting your 6 year old to read beginner reader books. Get familiar with your nearest bookstore’s children’s department and your library’s children’s section. Amazon.com is a great resource–often discounted prices, good selection, reviews and look inside features, and low shipping. Look for Caldecott and Newbury Medal books for reading to your children, and beginner reader books for your daughter to read to you. Have your relatives buy them books (preferable from a list that you give them.) Not all children’s books are equally good. (I hate anything Disney for a variety of reasons.) Reading to your children gives them all the right messages (about nurturing, and bonding, and attention span, and the importance of education, etc.) that TV does not. Make yourself a reading family. You will be so glad you did. You will get to know your children and talk about books and make them better students.

 

[TacyLou]

La Chiara:

tacy lou–This is a prime opportunity to start reading to your children and getting your 6 year old to read beginner reader books. Get familiar with your nearest bookstore’s children’s department and your library’s children’s section. Amazon.com is a great resource–often discounted prices, good selection, reviews and look inside features, and low shipping. Look for Caldecott and Newbury Medal books for reading to your children, and beginner reader books for your daughter to read to you. Have your relatives buy them books (preferable from a list that you give them.) Not all children’s books are equally good. (I hate anything Disney for a variety of reasons.) Reading to your children gives them all the right messages (about nurturing, and bonding, and attention span, and the importance of education, etc.) that TV does not. Make yourself a reading family. You will be so glad you did. You will get to know your children and talk about books and make them better students.

Thanks! We, actually, are a reading family. My husband and I both read quite a bit, and my daughter is getting there. We read a bedtime story every night, whether it is a chapter book for the 6 year old, or a simpler book for the 3 year old. (We alternate nights between the two.) And, we make certain that the 6 year old gets an additional 10 minutes of reading with a grown up’s help. The older daughter doesn’t nap anymore, so she reads her “Ladybug” magazines during rest time at home.

My family was always into reading, so I am trying to foster that in my children.

 

[La_Chiara]

TacyLou:

Thanks! We, actually, are a reading family. My husband and I both read quite a bit, and my daughter is getting there. We read a bedtime story every night, whether it is a chapter book for the 6 year old, or a simpler book for the 3 year old. (We alternate nights between the two.) And, we make certain that the 6 year old gets an additional 10 minutes of reading with a grown up’s help. The older daughter doesn’t nap anymore, so she reads her “Ladybug” magazines during rest time at home.

My family was always into reading, so I am trying to foster that in my children.

Good for you! Sounds like you are already doing some great things. Isn’t Ladybug great? My daughter adores those magazines. She is now 13, reads voraciously (including Cricket and Muse magazines, and is a phenomenal student and musician. And we don’t watch TV and haven’t since before she was born. She watches at friends’ or relatives’ houses (very occasionally).

But she is so proud that she doesn’t watch TV that she now is the one who gets annoyed if I ever suggest that maybe we should get a TV. She likes being different. Not watching TV means she has time to practice the piano and read. But the “fights” we have are when she is reading rather than cleaning her room or playing the piano. (So we don’t fight about watching TV but something else becomes the issue!) She laughs that I get annoyed that she is reading when she should be doing something else, and some of her friends’ parents are upset that the kids never read. (Then there was the time when our family was picked to do the Nielsen ratings of our TV watching. That was pretty funny. My husband had a great time composing his essay on “TV is evil”!)

 

[TacyLou]

(Then there was the time when our family was picked to do the Nielsen ratings of our TV watching. That was pretty funny. My husband had a great time composing his essay on “TV is evil”!)

Love it!!!

 

[sparkle]

TacyLou:

I made a resolution last night after my children were in bed that we are turning off the “boob tube”. I’ve had it with looking into my children’s glassy eyes and realizing they have the attention spans of gnats! I am sick and tired (did I just hear Mom?) of hearing them regurgitate comebacks they’ve learned from cartoons. My oldest (6) actually had silent tears streaming down her face this morning when I broke the news; not a tantrum, just that “My heart is broken” kind of cry. She’s gonna lose it when she figures out I’ve unplugged the TV. It makes me sad to see that she doesn’t seem to know how to play by herself, anymore.

So, ***PLEASE,***help me succeed in my resolution. I need advice on how to overcome the withdrawals I know are in my future!
I know this syndrome is one of my own making. I’m a TV junkie, myself, but I’m ready to correct it! Help me out!

Thanks!

I would suggest getting a lock for your cabinet the T.V. is in. This way YOU are in charge of when it’s turned on or not.

Good Luck~~~~ You’re doing such a good and right thing by even concerning yourself with this issue friend, so many parents don’t even care. And that goes for you too. Reading or listening to music is sooo much better, and not such a time waster.

 

[Lorarose]

I have a problem with the TV too.
And I have been getting better about offering other activities.
My problem is this - the dishes, laundry,cleaning, and meals still need my attention. I have not been able to find activities that will keep them “out of my hair” while I try to accomplish other duties.

That is what is so tempting about turning on the TV.

 

[TacyLou]

Well, it has been 4 full days, and we’re going strong! My older daughter (who has the TV addiction) has stopped asking if she can watch TV, completely. It is such a joy to see her playing again. It is amazing that the playroom now stays cleaner, because they’re actually playing rather than “fiddling” around with stuff!

Today will be a true test because it is going to be raining, and they’ll be stuck inside. They have a goal of one full week of no-TV, and if they hit it, we’re going to Chick-fil-a for supper and play on the play equipment. I think I am also going to offer a goal of one month of no-TV gets my older daughter a day at the kiddie boutique that is in our mall!

Pray for us!

 

[otm]

I turned off the TV. PERIOD. We simply did not watch. I read a minimum of 1/2 hour to my twin daughters at the start, and as time lengthened out, that got to be an hour. I will never, ever regret the time spent.

I even read to them when they were in high school. We read the Tales of Narnia, among other things. Whe one of them called home in college to tell me that one of her reading assignements was the same book, “And dad, I could hear your voice!”, I knew I had done at least one thing right…

If it is too hard to resist turning it back on, here is a simple solution. Unplug the TV. Get a wire cutter or a pliers. Cut the plug off (it is replaceable).

Can’t get them out of your hair? Assign them tasks when theu complain or start “bugging” you. Believe me, if you tell them they are going to have to do chores if they don’t leave you alone, and then assign them a few, it is amazing how quickly they learn…

There is little or nothing on TV that, if missed, will impair their lives. If they can’t talk with their friends about the latest program on TV (most of which is trash, or barely above; and almost all of which is targeted at the lowest common denominator), they will find something else to talk about. PBS aside ( and most of that can be had in written format), it provides nothing more than a baby sitter, and not one I would hire if they came on two feet…

Sorry, this may seem harsh. But you are a parent. You do not need to bribe your child with “reqwards” for not watching, and not bugging you. If you want to take her to the kiddie boutique or Chick-a-fil, do so. But don’t tie it to TV, or the lack thereof. It is your responsiblity as a parent to make rules and enforce them (why is it that women have such a struggle with this???). Give her treats because she is especially good. Give her treats because surprises are important to kids. But don’t give her treats for simply obeying. That is the minimum…

 

[TacyLou]

otm:

But you are a parent. You do not need to bribe your child with “reqwards” for not watching, and not bugging you. If you want to take her to the kiddie boutique or Chick-a-fil, do so. But don’t tie it to TV, or the lack thereof. It is your responsiblity as a parent to make rules and enforce them (why is it that women have such a struggle with this???). Give her treats because she is especially good. Give her treats because surprises are important to kids. But don’t give her treats for simply obeying. That is the minimum…

Actually, I have never been one to “reward” or “bribe” my children for doing what they are supposed to do. I am a firm believer that children need to learn what is expected of them because, as adults, we are rarely, if ever, rewarded for our actions.

AND, my daughter is very obediant. The television was certainly not a defiance on her part. When told to turn the TV off, she ALWAYS did it. She was not breaking any rules. She never snuck off to watch, or deliberately disobeyed me.

It is my fault that I did not pay enough attention to the amount of TV they watched. I finally recognized that the amount of TV she was watching was having an effect on her. And, once I started paying attention, I realized that she was constantly wanting the TV.

I am most certainly not rewarding her obediance to the rules. There is not a “No TV” rule in my house. I am showing her that TV is not the most important thing in her 6 year existence. I consider these things as rewards for her perseverance over something that is hard for her. I believe that all children can learn from setting goals, and acheiving them, as well as, delayed gratification.

 

[mass4life]

Keep up your resolution! I salute you for unplugging that dumb-downer!

My husband and I have been married 5 1/2 years, and have never had antenna, satellite, or subscribed to cable. We have no channels. Our tv is only set up for movies. Since we have two children, ages (almost) 3 and 1, I do OCCASIONALLY put in a VERY SELECTIVE video for my oldest to watch while I lay sister down for a nap or if he’s been especially well-behaved or productive. He does not watch every day except when I lay his sister down which takes at most 10-15 minutes. If he fusses and throws and tantrum to watch it, I do not give in. I set him up with some of his favorite books to look through instead. I do not use the tv for a babysitter. I too hate the glassy-eyed stare that comes on his face, where I can’t even talk to him or get his attention.

If you find it tough to break the habit, put away some special toys like Legos, board games, play-doh or imagination-building toys that only come out for special times or when the children are especially bored or if it’s a rainy day. Don’t leave all your toys out, put some away and rotate them once weekly or monthly to keep interest high. Shoo the kids outside to break monotony. Set up a sprinkler or just a bucket of water in your yard and let them play. Relax and remember: IT’S OKAY IF THEY GET BORED!!! That’s where imagination takes over!!!

You won’t be sorry for doing this, you’ll be surprised how creative you become yourself when a distracting and mind-mushing television isn’t around. Honestly, has anything you or your children have watched recently on network tv enriched your family or faith life? Doubtful. Offer this suffering up to the Lord on behalf of your children’s energetic minds and active faith life!! You can be the one to shape their language and behavior, not immoral and snotty tv and cartoon characters!

God Bless you. Keep up the hard work.

 

[Lorarose]

I should have been more specific.
I have 2 older children, but my 3 youngest are 4,3, and 1.
Giving them “chores” is not going to get them out of my hair because any “chore” I give them is going to have to be supervised due to their age.​

(why is it that women have such a struggle with this???).

Gee - that’s a no-brainer.

BECAUSE WE ARE WITH THEM 24/7 AND ARE EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT MOMS WHILE AT THE SAME TIME KEEPING A CLEAN HOUSE AND FEEDING THE FAMILY!!!

People are posting here in an attempt to help each other and give each other ideas.
Being condescending isn’t going to help anyone.

 

[jess7396]

It is great that you have made this commitment. We do watch TV here, but it is very limited. I have found that my kids ALWAYS prefer: playdoh, the art supply box, reading a story, dancing to “mommy music”, etc. I can get dishes and laundry done while they use art supplies or playdoh, I can dust or vacuum while we dance to my favorite music, etc. At this point the only time I use the TV to “babysit” is if I am sick, or on a (rare) very important phone call.

I also find that the kids like to “help” with things like folding and putting clothes away, cooking, etc.

Good luck- you CAN do it, and my advice is that if possible, you can watch TV on a limited basis, there can be a happy medium, I know that some disagree and think TV is evil (which is fine for them ), but if no TV at all doesn’t work for your family, just limit it.

Yeah for you!!!

Patty

 

[TacyLou]

Well, today marks one full week with no TV. It’s been great!!! We even made it through the rainy weekend with no complaints! In fact, on Sunday, we went to the U.S. Space and Rocket Center with some friends, and when we walked into the IMAX theater to see the Space Station movie, my daughter asked, “But, Mommy, we’re not supposed to be watching any movies.”

Of course, she knows she hit her goal, so she has already asked if she can watch TV this evening. I assured her that the TV wasn’t gone for good, but Mommy was still working on the plan for how and when we’ll watch TV from now on.

Thanks, everyone for all the advice! I’ll keep on trucking, but I won’t bug you with our progress, anymore.

THANKS, again!:bounce: