My last resort...advice, please.

  • Thread starter Thread starter montanaman
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
MM,

I will keep you in my daily prayers.

Maybe your toiling is going to bring you to much greater things, like finding rest in God. Only God will bring you to the peace that you really need. In life we only need to be confident that God is going to help us in everything. “Do not be afraid!”

Marie L.
 
Ellen_Marie said:
MM,

Please forgive me if you think I’m out of line with some observations. I don’t usually offer advice on the internet to strangers, but as you can see, many out here share parts of your story.

First, I agree with the others here that it is when God seems far away that our spiritual disciplines come to play. Don’t rely on feelings…they will lie to you. Spend time in prayer, at Mass, in the rosary, or whatever you are able to do. I also find that listening to and singing praise music reminds me of God’s power and love, even when I do not feel it.

Second, and this is where you might think I’m out of line, try to stop thinking about yourself so much. Find some way to serve, and focus on others and on God. He has a way of working in our lives when we’re not looking!

Finally, don’t be in a hurry to get married, and absolutely do not marry this girlfriend if you cannot forgive her for the past. Marriage is hard enough; don’t go into it if you have extra baggage that has not been adequately addressed. I suggest looking at Christian marriage preparation materials even before you are engaged.

And remember, when it is hard for you to pray, others are praying for you.

Peace,

Ellen
Click to expand...
MontanaMan, I too am suffering, emotionally now, and for the past couple of months. However, my doctor just told me that If I could just stop thinking about myself and think of others, alot of my problems would go-away.

Ellen, this is exactly what you just said.

This morning when I woke up, and began praying for people in purgatory, I began to feel a little better. I guess this is my way of thinking of others, instead of myself. Don’t know if I am cured or not, but we will see how this line of reasoning goes. Whenever I feel distressed, I will pray for people in purgatory.

Maybe some of your suffering and my suffering, and prayers will help those stuck there.
 
First, pray.

Second, I’m not wise enough to shower you with Bible quotes and other teaching, so I won’t.

Basically, there are two extremes and two errors: to exclude reason and to admit reason only. Don’t silence your head when it comes to your girlfriend, but don’t silence your heart, either, because your heart is you.

It would be unwise to marry despite serious reasonable doubts. It would also be unwise to let go of the heart’s content and forego love. Sometimes we must deal with things. Both our head and our heart will pose difficulties. You must decide which to heed, it seems, but the reality is that you can’t discount either. There must be some synchronisation there. What does the girlfriend feel about you? What does she feel about that musician? Is the fling totally gone, a thing of the past? Is there a negative moral evaluation of the immoral acts in the fling? In other words, does she regret what’s there to regret? How does she react to the musician? Can you honestly say it’s all your paranoia, or do you actually distrust her also, not just your own heart or head?

You don’t have to answer the questions to me here, but you might want to consider them somewhere else, more peacable, secluded, silent.

And pray.
 
May God’s peace, love, mercy and hope be with you!

God loves you and He is always with you at all times even though you may not perceive it. God has a plan for each and every one of us and it is up to us to make that happen by totally surrendering our lives to God, and opening our hearts and our souls to God’s most holy Will and continuously saying yes to His Will.

Be assured that we are constantly praying for you (even before you have posted your request for prayers) and for all. Thank God for that… God is Good!..God is Good!.. God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!
 
montanaman said:
Girlfriend: I think I love her, but I don’t trust my own head, or my heart. Part of me wants to marry her, part of me recoils at the idea for all kinds of reasons–not the least of which is the terror that such intimacy will cast a light on all my many flaws. Couple that with an intense and abiding jealousy over her continuing friendship with a musician who she once had a fling with (on a break).
Click to expand...
I don’t think I can offer you advice in this department, but can relate to being afraid of revealing your true self. However, if its
  1. A physical deformity (like a strange birthmark or something), then I can understand the natural anxiety, but I always remember that if we all looked the same, only our faith could tell us apart. Since we all look different, it is all the more important to allow your faith to shine through.
  2. A character flaw - then change it!! If not for your girlfriend for yourself and God!
Job: I have an “interesting” job as an editor with a relatively large paper, but the pay sucks and I’ve peaked there. My qualifications, experience, and education don’t leave me many options. I’m frozen at 30 and don’t know what my next step is.
Click to expand...
You can apply for different jobs that you would like to do. If you don’t get them, ASK why not. Then get whatever it is you need (usually practical skills).
Writing: I’ve known since I was fifteen I should write…something. But ideas are few and far between, I have no desire to be a reporter, and I’ve got a drawer full of the beginnings of “novels.” The only “goal” or “dream” I’ve had that’s lasted, or that has given me any hope to go on, feels like it’s slipping away. I’m starting to think I made a mistake, or that I have no talent whatsoever.
Click to expand...
It’s called laziness. We all suffer from it.

This is something you just have to beat.
Other people’s success: I know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others on something like this, but I work in an environment full of ambitious, bright people. They all seem to know what to do, and how to do it. I stumble along through the dark, but everyone around me seems to be making great strides and successes.
Click to expand...
This might have to do with your natural capability, but you can develop anything you feel you are lacking. Search on the internet for how to develop key skills.
Faith: One way or another, I’ll always be Catholic. God, though, is very far away from me. Most of that is my own fault, but that distance has always felt like the natural way of things. God is just…out there. That’s the way it is. I go through the motions, fall flat on my face again and again, pick myself up, and go at it again. But the routine is too familiar, and I can feel something like a breakdown on the horizon–maybe another ten years “off” or something.
Click to expand...
God is never far from you. BUT, pride often keeps people away.

I find that whenever I feel far from God, it is because I am not doing something right, even though at the time it seems like God’s fault.
So, that’s it. I’m a mess. I’m not asking for advice, (though I won’t tell you to take a hike if you offer it), but I AM asking for your prayers. If someone can just remember to add me to a list of intentions on a rosary, I’d greatly appreciate it. I’m not asking for much. Just a miracle. :o

Thanks,
MM
Click to expand...
You are obviously a little shaken since the title of this thread is “advice please” and you ended saying “Im not asking for advice”.

I find that sometimes, when I feel like everything is becoming routine, it is an indication that I am not fully trusting in God or His Church.

Try and spend 5 minutes in mental prayer towards this cause everyday!

God Bless!
 
pssst…this thread is like almost three years old. MM is now happily married to said girlfriend.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top