my marriage

[traillius]

My wife seems to never be happy with me, and I can’t figure what will make me able to " make " her happy. Its not my job really, but its my responsibility to do my part in saving our marriage (if it can be saved) She threatens divorce/separation, but never really follows through. I make all kinds of promises, but find it extremely difficult to deliver the results. I am at a loss. She is disabled, and suffers from depression. We have money problems, and possible faith crises.

 

[traillius]

I would like to add, to my shame, that I have not been the best husband with respect to doing what I should. I have come close to certain lines that should not be crossed. I believe some of you understand.

 

[fecistinosadte]

traillius-
Trust the Lord with all your heart. In sacramental marriage you and your spouse have been given the grace to endure hardship even to the point of exhaustion. I am a husband myself. I have experience some difficulty. My wife would be the first to say I could be more thoughtful, and considerate. We have struggle financially, and I know it is hard.

However, Christ is Risen! I myself find it helpful to think of the Passion of our Lord. He needed to endure Good Friday before he arrived at Easter Morning. I guess there are a few pieces of advice I would give-

1. Pray. - Do it every day. Together.
2. Pray more. Adoration- daily (weekly minimum), daily Mass, frequent Confession (at least once a month)
3. Seek help from the Church. Find a church you trust, see what they have to help. Also check with your diocese.
4. Read good Literature- Three to get Married by Fulton Sheen is great.
5. Remember that we as husbands are called to be Christ in our marriage. Meaning, we must die to self in other words unless it is sinful try to do what your wife asks.
6. Finally, examine your conscience every night before bed with your wife. Apologize for the things you failed in that day, and thank your wife for at least one thing.

I will pray for you.
Your brother in Christ.

 

[lissa70]

I am so sorry to hear the difficulties you are experiencing in your marriage. I have been in similar situation myself. Fecistinosadte offered some terrific advice. I would just add that while you cannot change another person, you can influence them by your actions. You said that you have not been the best of husbands, so maybe that is where you should start. Work on changing yourself to become the best husband you can be because that is what God calls you to be. Love your wife with agape love, the unconditional love that Jesus loves us with. Dying to your own self is the only way to experience the true joy that God intended for your marriage. I will keep you and your marriage in my prayers.