My mom and I are not speaking

[mommi2four]

I’m really really really heart broken my mother and I are not in speaking terms. I feel that something we had (it is not much) has been severed. It started when she found out about my dad “online” gf. She was distraught. I had to call the cops on her and she was on suicide watch for 72 hours. During the stay in the psychiatric hospital, we had a family session. At the session, she asked to be supported. And I said I was going to support her if she stops saying mean things. I also apologized for my past wrongs and told her I loved her.

She complains that I don’t understand her and I don’t support her. We had a big fight the Monday after Columbus Day. Bad things were said, which I really feel bad that I said it after I said. I apologized to her but I guess it was too late. She doesn’t accept my apology. I also said that I loved her and she rejected that too.

I wrote her a letter apologizing, and telling her Ilove her but my past wrongs from years back was thrown in my face, like a dirty sweaty towel.

She also complains that I am siding with my dad. I am not. I am a realist. He is still my dad and if he wants to talk or asked for help, as his daughter I have to help him. I love both my parents and refuse to choose sides.

Now since I hurt her so bad she is not talking to me or to my kids (8,3,4 and 2 months) My youngest’s baptism is this Sunday, Nov 14th and she is not coming.

I pray the Rosary everyday. I ask God to help me and help her. I ask Saint Monica to help me and help her. I don’t know what else to do. A family friend said to develop a relationship with her. How can I develop a relationship with her if she doesn’t acknowledge my apologie? She talks to me like I am three, so how I am suppose to develop some type of a relationship? How do I start?

I can’t talk to her. She is very negative and says very negative things. She and I can’t see eye to eye. I’ve asked a priest on what to do and he said just don’t do anything. Don’t try to fix things. He says let God’s plans work and I can’t bring her to God (which I found frustrating).

She judges me and my actions by saying things that hurt me so much. She said that my kids will give me problems, like I gave her problems. She cursed me. She said she said this " Your kids will be like you, I swear this, Remember what I what write it in stone, one of your girls will be bad like you." How much of a mother was she saying that. It stung like hot tear rolling down ones eyes.

When I told her that I pray for her everyday, she said she doesn’t need prayers, I should pray for my dad because he has turned evil. How can you say you don’t need prayers? Everybody needs prayers?

My husband say the darkness hates the light and all works but no faith is making her miserable. Sigh

I’m sad, heartbroken; desperate… perhaps I need to be patient because good things come to those who love God. Romans 8:28

Please I need encouragement. I need to know that my mom and I will someday talk again.
:banghead: :crying: Please, I need prayers… thanks in advance…

 

[moira]

I’m sorry your mother is acting this way. It’s really hard when you don’t see eye to eye with your mother. I know first hand. And I sympathize with you. I wish I could help but there’s nothing anyone can do until your mom comes around. It sounds like you’ve tried to mend things so all you can do is wait for her. And hopefully God will get to her heart. I will pray for you to stop hurting and for your mom.

 

[MaryleeDorian]

Dear Mommi2four,

It is good of you to have apologized to your mother for whatever it was that you felt you owed an apology. You have asked to be forgiven, which is what God wants and what we tell Him in confession. Now it is up to her to forgive.

From your description (and relating it to past events in my own life), your mother feels abandoned and depressed–and probably unloved. It is a quirk of human nature that those of us who want love the most act the most unlovable, especially when we are afraid we have lost or will lose everything that is dear to us.

Never doubt that love overcomes hate, good overcomes evil–even if it is hard to see it. It took me a long time to understand that that is what Jesus was talking about when he talked about loving your enemies and those who hurt you.
.
Be patient. Continue praying for her (you don’t have to tell her). Send her a “thinking of you card”, or a nice Christmas card and simply sign it “With Love…”. Have hope and faith, no matter what.

 

[Elizabeth_B]

Please keep in mind that your mom is mentally unstable right now and not in complete control of her words and actions. I know this hurts horribly.

It sounds like you are doing everything humanly possible to help her. I think your priest has given you good advice. Keep praying to Saint Monica and our Blessed Mother. They will carry your prayers to our Lord.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Your mom sounds like she is suffering from depression. Also, have her tested for dementia or Alzheimer’s. Even if it’s not dementia or Alzheimer’s she is mentally ill. She will say nasty things. Try not to take is personally.

 

[mommi2four]

MaryleeDorian:

Dear Mommi2four,
Send her a “thinking of you card”, or a nice Christmas card and simply sign it “With Love…”. Have hope and faith, no matter what.

Thank you, MaryleeDorian, I will do that