My mom lied

[Yogi89]

My cousin was having an engagement at his fiancee’s house, and I didn’t want to go to it. My other sister went instead, but near the day of the engagement my mom basically told me I should have came and for next time I should go. Anyway, the day before the engagement I was wondering what my mom would tell the relatives if they asked why I didn’t come. The day of the engagement, I told my mom to just tell them that I wasn’t feeling good (I wasn’t physicall ill, but I was upset about something that happened and also was on my menstrual cycle). But, my mother had told me she already told them I had the flu. I felt bad, because I didn’t want my mom to lie. Is this is a mortal sin for both of us??

 

[Tantum_ergo]

My cousin was having an engagement at his fiancee’s house, and I didn’t want to go to it. My other sister went instead, but near the day of the engagement my mom basically told me I should have came and for next time I should go. Anyway, the day before the engagement I was wondering what my mom would tell the relatives if they asked why I didn’t come. The day of the engagement, I told my mom to just tell them that I wasn’t feeling good (I wasn’t physicall ill, but I was upset about something that happened and also was on my menstrual cycle). But, my mother had told me she already told them I had the flu. I felt bad, because I didn’t want my mom to lie. Is this is a mortal sin for both of us??

No. It is not grave matter, you didn’t ‘freely consent’ to your mother’s words, you didn’t have full knowledge, and while we can’t speak to your mother’s state of mind, it is highly unlikely that SHE thought it was grave matter, or that she also freely ‘consented’, thinking it ‘grave’, to sin mortally.

Don’t worry about it, and if you worry about your mother, talk to her.

 

[Yogi89]

No. It is not grave matter, you didn’t ‘freely consent’ to your mother’s words, you didn’t have full knowledge, and while we can’t speak to your mother’s state of mind, it is highly unlikely that SHE thought it was grave matter, or that she also freely ‘consented’, thinking it ‘grave’, to sin mortally.

Don’t worry about it, and if you worry about your mother, talk to her.

Thank you so much

 

[Loving_disciple]

Lying can be a mortal sin but in this case it is not.

 

[aprilfloyd]

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

 

[Julia_Mae]

My cousin was having an engagement at his fiancee’s house, and I didn’t want to go to it. My other sister went instead, but near the day of the engagement my mom basically told me I should have came and for next time I should go. Anyway, the day before the engagement I was wondering what my mom would tell the relatives if they asked why I didn’t come. The day of the engagement, I told my mom to just tell them that I wasn’t feeling good (I wasn’t physicall ill, but I was upset about something that happened and also was on my menstrual cycle). But, my mother had told me she already told them I had the flu. I felt bad, because I didn’t want my mom to lie. Is this is a mortal sin for both of us??

There was a time when people understood social etiquette and no one would have asked for any explanation. As people are now routinely rude in the name of “concern” it is sometimes more courteous to say “flu” than “she’s on her period.” In all cases, it’s simply unfortunate that everyone isn’t made to memorize *Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior *by the time they are 10.

To keep your mother from making up lies, I suggest you get her a copy to go along with your own. The principles that govern courtesy are surprisingly close to those that govern morality and charity.

Then your mother can learn how to smile frostily at such inquiries and change the subject when you find you cannot bring yourself submit to your duty and attend a family celebration.