My one difficult question

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Toi_nhan_31

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I study together with a consecrated girl. She’s still in formation and I think she’s still discerning. I guess.
She is very simple and open and it’s exactly these traits of her that attract my attention. I think I like her.
Do you think I can tell her that I admire her or I like her?
 
It’s an association of consecrated women with no vows
 
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Why would you do that? Leave her be. She is doing what she wants, being consecrated or discerning. I doubt she needs you throwing your feelings into the mix.
 
No, they are women living together in community but they’re neither nuns nor sisters
 
Toi_nhan_31 said:
No, they are women living together in community but they’re neither nuns nor sisters
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They are not consecrated then, as religious. What is your friend discerning? A religious life as a Nun or Sister, or as a Consecrated virgin?

It does matter, firstly the definition of consecration is crucial, and then what she is discerning. He thinks she is discerning. I would be having a very honest conversation .
There are no vows, at present and he is not sure what or if she is discerning .

Be honest, and then the decision becomes, do we keep studying together or not.
 
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If you can express your liking and admiration for her without it taking on some romantic overtone, then fine.

If you can’t, then don’t.
 
I agree. A woman that is already determined to do something she highly desires for the greater good does not deserve an obstacle that will only make her question herself. Sometimes it is good to express yourself, but in this specific circumstance it would be rather selfish to throw on her your emotions. It really wouldn’t be a good idea. Although, if you firmly believe it is something that you must do, then it is on your will to do it. Don’t do something you will regret later, and the way you do that is you ask yourself weather it is something you are doing for the greater good.
 
It doesn’t really matter. She knows how she wants to live at this point. She has told people that she is consecrated. It does no good to announce how he feels, in fact, I would find it disrespectful.
 
Toi_nhan_31 said:
It’s an association of consecrated women with no vows
Click to expand...
I’m totally gonna get blasted for this but:

No vows = still available strictly speaking.

Tell her if you want, but brace yourself for rejection. It’s possible if she shares your feelings that her heart is also being pulled in a different direction to consecrated life. And that’s perfectly fine as long as she hasn’t made any final commitment. It’s also very possible she’ll turn you down and won’t spend time with you as much any more. If you’re sensitive about it you could avoid the latter and still let your feelings be known.

I was a Novice in a religious order for a year, discerning the religious life. Now I’m a married man.
That’s why they have a period with no vows, to allow people time to think about it.

It wouldn’t be “a sin” to tell her if that’s what you’re asking.
 
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