My opinion vs. your opinion

[funion987]

When in conversation my religious beliefs about certain aspects of life differ from one of my friends’ belief on the subject, usually it just results in a “my opinion vs. your opinion” sentiment, rather than a “right vs. wrong” one.

Is there anything I can do to be more convincing? I feel I usually don’t do a good job in explain why the right way is the right way.

 

[valentino]

Ive been in your position and it really comes down to basics.You believe the way you do because your Catholic and your morals and beliefs are based on Catholic teaching which are taught as God/s teaching.i don;t know what your friend’s basis is for her opinions but obviously not Catholicism.To debate or change another’s opinion you must have a good knowledge of what the Church teaches on issues plus how It derives an answer to the issue your decussing.You need to read more Catholic literature(Bible,Catechism,ect.)

 

[Brendan_McCabe]

First and most important is to live what you believe.

Second is to simply learn more about why you believe what you do and why it is right and your friends opinion is wrong.

If you can give an example of an issue I would imagine you will get a lot of help.

Third you have to realize that many times no matter how logical your position is many people don’t base their opinions on logic but rather on emotion so learn to engage people emotionally as well as logically.

An example of this is people whose ego will not allow them to admit they are wrong, you would have give such a person a way to accept what you are telling them without necessarily having to admit you were right.

 

[LaFleurDeLis]

I find myself in the same position. The previous posters advice is something I’m going to try to use in the future. I try not to be confrontation when it comes to me discussing my religion with someone else who is of a different denomination. A co-worker and close friend of mine is a pentecostal. I would love more than anything for him to come with me to church and join. He’s resistant. It very much comes down to a my opinion vs. his opinion kinda-sorta. He’s very open about things and seems to accept the things I say. He’s a very nice guy, so I know if he did disagree he probably wouldn’t tell me. I want to share with him that the CC is the one true church and faith. Created by Jesus himself. That the communion he takes every week is nothing more than crackers and juice, but the communion I take, the Eucharist, is the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus. I don’t want to offend or anger him in any way or make him feel inferior.

 

[novusCatholic]

Is there anything I can do to be more convincing?

To me, it all comes down to the Catholic Church being the one, true, original, apostolic, and authoritative Church. Once a person is convicned of that, then everything else falls into place.

A great resource is the writings of the Church Fathers. Their writings are not inspired, but as a whole, they show what the earliest generations of Christians believed. Some of these guys were actually students of the Apostles. There is a reason that they believed what they did.

 

[LaFleurDeLis]

**To me, it all comes down to the Catholic Church being the one, true, original, apostolic, and authoritative Church. Once a person is convicned of that, then everything else falls into place.**A great resource is the writings of the Church Fathers. Their writings are not inspired, but as a whole, they show what the earliest generations of Christians believed. Some of these guys were actually students of the Apostles. There is a reason that they believed what they did.

Agreed!

 

[cellodude]

When in conversation my religious beliefs about certain aspects of life differ from one of my friends’ belief on the subject, usually it just results in a “my opinion vs. your opinion” sentiment, rather than a “right vs. wrong” one.

These (my/your and right/wrong) are not mutually exclusive sets of labels.

I think the key in untying the opinion stalemate is to point out two things:

1. This is a truism that was apparent from the beginning of the conversation. Thus, it makes the most unsatisfying conclusion, since it basically says “this conversation was useless and went nowhere.” Neither side should be satisfied with that conclusion.
2. In light of point #1, the “opinion” stalemate gives the opportunity for both sides to address a questions that probably weren’t adequately addressed before the conversation began: what do we hope/expect to get out of this conversation, and how can the conversation be considered a success (where both sides are mutually enlightened and come away with something) or a failure (where neither side learns anything and takes away nothing but a bruised ego)? Many times, a stalemate exists when there are unspoken, unreasonable expectations on one or both sides of the conversation about what the fruits of the dialogue might be.
3. Finally, it is important to point out that the “my opinion/your opinion” stalemate is actually a significant point being made in disguise!! The point being made is a historical point, because it seems to presume that nobody else in the history of the world has held those opinions. In other words, it treats each position as if it originated in the speaker. Thus, the statement actually reveals a kind of ignorance, since almost no “opinion” is actually just a single person’s opinion.

So, it is very important to take that statement as a springboard to discuss the history of ideas. Not only does this ease the pressure of the conversation by moving it toward historical, verifiable data, but it also eases the sense of me vs. you. Rather, both sides can together look to see when and how the opinions first came about, and why.

For instance, if a Protestant said, “it is my opinion that the Lord’s Supper is symbolic. I know your opinion is different, and so we’ll have to leave it at that,” you can respond, “The whole point I’m trying to make is that my beliefs are NOT just my opinion. Rather, it is also the opinion of the students of the apostles and their successors, and it is the opinion–the interpretation of God’s Word–that has been passed down from the beginning. On the other hand, the opinion you hold did not originate with you. It originated with a group of people that decided to reject the historical understanding of God’s Word held by Christians from the beginning. THAT is the historical data that we should spend some more time focusing on.”

In my own evangelization work, I’ve found that the more I emphasize the history of my beliefs, and who believed them in the past (going straight back to the apostles), the less these conversations end in that disappointing stalemate.

In any case, it is important never to let a conversation end on that note, since it gives the impression that the one thing you can agree on is that your beliefs are merely a difference of opinion!

Peace!

 

[valentino]

When in conversation my religious beliefs about certain aspects of life differ from one of my friends’ belief on the subject, usually it just results in a “my opinion vs. your opinion” sentiment, rather than a “right vs. wrong” one.

Is there anything I can do to be more convincing? I feel I usually don’t do a good job in explain why the right way is the right way.

You have to know where your religious beliefs come from firstly.then you have to say why you interpret scripture a certain way.Many Catholic for instance can’t explain why they believe a certain thing but they believe in the CC being able to interpret scripture accurately so they take their word on it.then of course you have to explain why you believe that.you might say my research has told me its the only reliable source.THen again you’re going to have to go on explaining and since you’re probably not a scholar on Church history you’d probably be best off by telling them to go to a more knowledgable Catholic.Which really ends the discussion.If a person wants to know why you believe what you believe he’ll have to take the time to find out more about Catholicm.

 

[ESMDHokie77]

cellodude,

Thanks for the insight into the historical aspect of things…

What do you say to people who say the Catholic Church murdered other Christian groups who held different beliefs throughout all of history? They use this as sort of an excuse for their lack of history before the 1500’s, I find.

 

[funion987]

Thanks for all the responses. I think, in summary, I simply need to be more informed on my faith and its origins.

What I knew was that these ways are what will lead me to happiness and spiritual freedom, but I don’t think I was able to convince anyone that that is also the same for them just by telling them so. At any rate, more research to be done on my part.

 

[cellodude]

cellodude,

Thanks for the insight into the historical aspect of things…

What do you say to people who say the Catholic Church murdered other Christian groups who held different beliefs throughout all of history? They use this as sort of an excuse for their lack of history before the 1500’s, I find.

I know how frustrating these responses can be!

I think it is important to try to get the people who pull out these types of comments to reflect back on the comment itself…and to ask some of the same historical questions mentioned earlier:

In general, I recommend trying to empathize with the person making the claim. Try to imagine what it is like to be in their shoes. (At this point, they probably feel like they are losing an argument and so they pull out unsubstantiated historical evidence as a kind of trump card to Catholic historical claims.) Also, try to imagine how they think you might react. (If you react with shock, offense, etc., then their comment has, in a sense, begun to structure the flow of the conversation.) Then, react with empathy and love. If you feel like an adversary, then no matter what you say in response, they won’t feel convinced.

Once they feel like you are on their side and that you are concerned about the idea that they have, then you can together think through some of the same historical questions:

1. What is the history of that idea (the idea that the “Catholic Church” killed off the “true, orthodox” Christians throughout history)?
2. What historical evidence is it based on?

(So far, we are dealing with only the facts. You want to ask them to back up their charge. Gently remind them that we all have to answer to God one day for the way we accuse others of sin. These people seems to be accusing 1,500 years of Christians of sin. What evidence do they have? How did they get the idea in the first place? Are they really ready and willing to take responsibility for this type of accusation that was picked up from who-knows-where and stand behind the charge?)

1. Hopefully, people who make this charge will at least have some examples to offer of what they are talking about. 99% of the time, it will be the crusades or the inquisition. You’ll notice that most people feel a bit uncomfortable even giving specifics, because by now, they’ll be anticipating your next question: tell me what you know about these events and their historical/cultural contexts. The general point you are going for is: (a) while there have been bad things done by Catholics (b) this does not mean that the entire, world-wide Catholic Church was involved and (c) these bad things are limited to specific times, not 1,500 years.
2. From the examples they point out, here is a point that must be made strongly and clearly: WHEN BAD THINGS DO HAPPEN AND PEOPLE ARE KILLED, IT ENTERS THE HISTORICAL RECORD! (IOW, massive cover-ups just don’t happen.)
3. Once you can get people to admit that, it is hard to believe that the Catholic Church has been systematically murdering non-Catholic Christians for decades to squash their beliefs…and all without a single shred of historical evidence.
4. Rather, the historical evidence shows that, in the first centuries of the church, it was those Christians who believed like Catholics today who were being martyred.

At this point, there are lots of different directions in which the conversation could go, and other CAP members could probably add to and improve on the above.

I hope that helps!

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend the series of posts at the blog “Shameless Popery” on the “invisible church” and “remnant church” theories. These essays are some of the best that I’ve EVER read on this topic.