My Optimist Husband: correct or leave be?

[DisorientingSneeze]

The storm clouds of my worry that we may have conceived a 5th child are gathering. I do trust God and we are obviously open to life. I just dread a 5th csection as the 4th one wasn’t so great.

My husband is a good man and though I have spoken little of my concerns, he must read them on my face because he says things like “God wouldn’t give you a child and then not keep you around to raise them.”

1. I wasn’t actually worried I’d die. This past year has been emotionally and physically taxing as my one year old just doesn’t sleep. I only thought the others were bad sleepers, but this sweet child has depleted me to levels I never knew possible. I feel ugly, brainfogged, and unable to keep up with needed tasks around here.
2. That assertion is either blatantly false or at best unknowable. People DO die in childbirth all the time. Plenty of them are people of faith.

Do you think these kind of beliefs (God wouldn’t give you a kid if he wasn’t going to keep you around to raise them) are false enough that they need to be more actively countered if they come up again or would you just let someone go on thinking that?

 

[Irishmom2]

You could just tell him dying wasn’t your concern, but constantly being tired is a concern and then ask if he would have any ideas to help with that.

 

[TheLittleLady]

“God wouldn’t give you a child and then not keep you around to raise them.”

You may want to ask him to look up providentialism. Your husband may have simply been trying to allay your fears, or, he may actually believe this. It is worth a talk, later, when emotions are not as high. I am so sorry that your concerns are not heard and understood.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

providentialism.

Thank you! That sounds exactly like what it is. Now I have a word for it.

It’s quite possible I’m not pregnant, but telling myself meh maybe we bottle/formula feed this one if there’s a fifth is helping. Even if I ultimately don’t, that thought is providing a much sturdier crutch at the moment that his well meaning but theologically troublesome niceties.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

You could just tell him dying wasn’t your concern, but constantly being tired is a concern and then ask if he would have any ideas to help with that.

I suspect I will get that chance to try again. I did explain that as best I could. I was like remember last Sunday when you were hungover and miserable? It was pretty hard to function or even think. That’s me every day minus the night of revelry.