K
kire05
Guest
Now that I have time to reflect on what has happened from a year ago until now I see how God allows unpleasant things to happen to call us back to Him.
My last confession before my re-version was in July 2019. But my descent from my faith did not start there. I was a little over a year prior to this when my faith began to grow lukewarm. I wanted to find many excuses for why this change. I said that the new pastor did not tell us anything in particular regarding Christian or spiritual growth since his focus on his homilies always touched on the same issues of immigration and unjust laws that our president promotes. It got to the point where I avoided going to Mass in my local parish so as not to hear any more banalities. But by then, my faith was lukewarm.
I went to Mass on Sundays out of custom and set a “good example” for my children. When I would leave Mass my life just marching more and more towards the precipice. I made worldly friendships where the focus was not to grow spiritually in Christ, but to have a good time drinking, singing, and laughing. I had relations with the opposite sex, not in order to establish something serious, but to have a good time. The hunger and ambition to have a better economic status led me to establish my own business and have material things. I have never wanted to be rich, and to date it is not something I want. Only if I wanted to have enough to not worry about my livelihood to live and have a comfortable life. My prayer life no longer existed, and I was going to Mass looking forward to the time to return home. I left the various volunteer jobs that I did in my parish under the pretext that I was going to school and working and could not dedicate that time to God.
But my life changed when the danger of the coronavirus reached the state where I live. I looked day by day as the number of those infected and have died was increasing. It caused me a lot of concern, and even more when I saw how that number was growing in the city where I live. Fear overcame me and I saw that this virus is a call from God for the entire world. I saw my own smallness in the face of this danger and decided to seek the sacrament of confession. I fell into sin as the world still had me tied up, but I ran back into the arms of the Lord. The fear, the worry, the anxiety was still in me since my fear is to die or that something would happen to those I loved. Little by little I have been asking God and our Blessed Mother to help me trust and have faith in the Lord, and to ask her to help me grow spiritually and to give me the grace to desire Heaven more than Earth. Although we aren’t out of the woods yet from this virus, I pray for strength, conversion, love for not only myself but for the entire world.
My last confession before my re-version was in July 2019. But my descent from my faith did not start there. I was a little over a year prior to this when my faith began to grow lukewarm. I wanted to find many excuses for why this change. I said that the new pastor did not tell us anything in particular regarding Christian or spiritual growth since his focus on his homilies always touched on the same issues of immigration and unjust laws that our president promotes. It got to the point where I avoided going to Mass in my local parish so as not to hear any more banalities. But by then, my faith was lukewarm.
I went to Mass on Sundays out of custom and set a “good example” for my children. When I would leave Mass my life just marching more and more towards the precipice. I made worldly friendships where the focus was not to grow spiritually in Christ, but to have a good time drinking, singing, and laughing. I had relations with the opposite sex, not in order to establish something serious, but to have a good time. The hunger and ambition to have a better economic status led me to establish my own business and have material things. I have never wanted to be rich, and to date it is not something I want. Only if I wanted to have enough to not worry about my livelihood to live and have a comfortable life. My prayer life no longer existed, and I was going to Mass looking forward to the time to return home. I left the various volunteer jobs that I did in my parish under the pretext that I was going to school and working and could not dedicate that time to God.
But my life changed when the danger of the coronavirus reached the state where I live. I looked day by day as the number of those infected and have died was increasing. It caused me a lot of concern, and even more when I saw how that number was growing in the city where I live. Fear overcame me and I saw that this virus is a call from God for the entire world. I saw my own smallness in the face of this danger and decided to seek the sacrament of confession. I fell into sin as the world still had me tied up, but I ran back into the arms of the Lord. The fear, the worry, the anxiety was still in me since my fear is to die or that something would happen to those I loved. Little by little I have been asking God and our Blessed Mother to help me trust and have faith in the Lord, and to ask her to help me grow spiritually and to give me the grace to desire Heaven more than Earth. Although we aren’t out of the woods yet from this virus, I pray for strength, conversion, love for not only myself but for the entire world.