B
BamaRider
Guest
A few months ago I posted by beloved sister in law (married to Debbie’s brother) was diagnosed with breast cancer. Because her husband works on the west coast, and is gone 2-3 weeks a month for the last 25 years, she has always been close to us, especially me.
I guess it comes from being married to siblings. We always compared notes about the stuff Debbie and her brother had in common LOL, and served as litigators in the family squabbles.
We spoke almost everyday, and Debbie and I often had her over her for supper or took her with us when we went out. Her house has been like ours the last 8 years-empty nest. Joan is not the most social of people, her job is demanding and she often has to make tough decesions, so she doesn’t allow herself to get close to the people she works with. But once she gets to know you, she’s alot of fun. She loves Alabama football.
I also helped her with car pools, etc when the children were young including having to pick up my then 16 year old niece from school when she wore a skirt to school that was split waaaaaaaay to high (thats a whole nother story I need to tell oneday). “Joan” is one of my closet friends, I was heartbroken the day she called me to say she had cancer.
Because she went by the book on such stuff they caught this very early, and her operation was a success. They cancer was just a spot they removed, they did not have to taker her breast.
However, her numbers were such the docs advised her she needed chemo and then radiation, (the # is 30, if over 30 they suggest treatments, her was 33) to thwart a relapse. She was told without the treatments, she probably had a 50-50 chance of a relapse within 10 years, and chemo had a good chance of preventing it.
When put it like that what choice did she have? She has always been a very attractive lady, and to be honest kind of vain. LOL, but that’s just Joan.
After explaining all this to her husband and kids, she came to see me the next day.
“Look, I’m not going to give an opinion if you should undergo the treatments or not Joan, cos I don’t wanna influence you one way or the other. It has to be YOUR call. I have no idea what you must be going through, I’ll just be here for ya whatever you decide.”
She submitted to the treatments, and now down to the last 2.
I’ve spoken to her on the phone a few times, but untill yesterday not seen her in almost 4 months. Debbie told me she had tawked to Joan a couple days ago, and she seemed pretty down. She bought a wig before the treatments even started, took a leave of absence from her work, and basically been low profile.
I know her very well, and when Debbie asked me why she hasn’t been around, I told her Joan just wanted her privacy, and she would get out when she was in the mood, “you know how vain she is baby, she doesn’t like anyone seeing her when she’s not her best.”
Another week passed and I still nothing from her, then oneday my niece (family of her own) called, “Guy, would you call mother, she just had a treatment couple days ago, and not feeling well. She seems to be awfully withdrawn.” “You know I will sweetie, but why has she not called us?” “You know how she is, doesn’t want to trouble anybody.”
The weather has been really great here the last couple of weeks, I was out on one of my motorcycles enjoying the day, in fact I was on the east side of town, eating a Arby’s. After lunch I was going to take a ride in the country, but then I thought about Joan, who was probably cooped up inside on such a beautiful day.
I picked my Iphone up and called her.
“so whats goin on sweetie?”
“Guy! What are you doin?!”
She sounded really glad to hear from me.
“Nuttin, I’m just eating lunch at Arby’s want one?”
“Sure! That sounds sooooooo good, not had much of appetite lately, but for some reason I do now. OMG so good to hear from you.”
“Well never underestimate the power of a roast beef sandwich, why haven’t you called me? I’ll be there in a few.”
“But I’m a mess! Gimme a few minutes ok?”
“you got however how long it takes for me to ride over there”
“ok, ok”
I called Debbie and told her I was on my way to eat lunch with Joan. “please tell her I’m thinking about her.” “I will.”
I guess it comes from being married to siblings. We always compared notes about the stuff Debbie and her brother had in common LOL, and served as litigators in the family squabbles.
We spoke almost everyday, and Debbie and I often had her over her for supper or took her with us when we went out. Her house has been like ours the last 8 years-empty nest. Joan is not the most social of people, her job is demanding and she often has to make tough decesions, so she doesn’t allow herself to get close to the people she works with. But once she gets to know you, she’s alot of fun. She loves Alabama football.
I also helped her with car pools, etc when the children were young including having to pick up my then 16 year old niece from school when she wore a skirt to school that was split waaaaaaaay to high (thats a whole nother story I need to tell oneday). “Joan” is one of my closet friends, I was heartbroken the day she called me to say she had cancer.
Because she went by the book on such stuff they caught this very early, and her operation was a success. They cancer was just a spot they removed, they did not have to taker her breast.
However, her numbers were such the docs advised her she needed chemo and then radiation, (the # is 30, if over 30 they suggest treatments, her was 33) to thwart a relapse. She was told without the treatments, she probably had a 50-50 chance of a relapse within 10 years, and chemo had a good chance of preventing it.
When put it like that what choice did she have? She has always been a very attractive lady, and to be honest kind of vain. LOL, but that’s just Joan.
After explaining all this to her husband and kids, she came to see me the next day.
“Look, I’m not going to give an opinion if you should undergo the treatments or not Joan, cos I don’t wanna influence you one way or the other. It has to be YOUR call. I have no idea what you must be going through, I’ll just be here for ya whatever you decide.”
She submitted to the treatments, and now down to the last 2.
I’ve spoken to her on the phone a few times, but untill yesterday not seen her in almost 4 months. Debbie told me she had tawked to Joan a couple days ago, and she seemed pretty down. She bought a wig before the treatments even started, took a leave of absence from her work, and basically been low profile.
I know her very well, and when Debbie asked me why she hasn’t been around, I told her Joan just wanted her privacy, and she would get out when she was in the mood, “you know how vain she is baby, she doesn’t like anyone seeing her when she’s not her best.”
Another week passed and I still nothing from her, then oneday my niece (family of her own) called, “Guy, would you call mother, she just had a treatment couple days ago, and not feeling well. She seems to be awfully withdrawn.” “You know I will sweetie, but why has she not called us?” “You know how she is, doesn’t want to trouble anybody.”
The weather has been really great here the last couple of weeks, I was out on one of my motorcycles enjoying the day, in fact I was on the east side of town, eating a Arby’s. After lunch I was going to take a ride in the country, but then I thought about Joan, who was probably cooped up inside on such a beautiful day.
I picked my Iphone up and called her.
“so whats goin on sweetie?”
“Guy! What are you doin?!”
She sounded really glad to hear from me.
“Nuttin, I’m just eating lunch at Arby’s want one?”
“Sure! That sounds sooooooo good, not had much of appetite lately, but for some reason I do now. OMG so good to hear from you.”
“Well never underestimate the power of a roast beef sandwich, why haven’t you called me? I’ll be there in a few.”
“But I’m a mess! Gimme a few minutes ok?”
“you got however how long it takes for me to ride over there”
“ok, ok”
I called Debbie and told her I was on my way to eat lunch with Joan. “please tell her I’m thinking about her.” “I will.”
:bighanky: You need a blog Guy, and I’ll be your first subscriber.