My sister wants to be the Godparent of my daughter but I do not want her to be

[alexisrm2927]

Hello, I don’t want to sound as if I am complaining but I really need answers. I am currently pregnant with my first child and I am brought up in the Catholic faith. I am deciding who I want to be the Godparents of my child and by that, I want to pick an individual/s who are strong in their faith due to the fact that my child’s father is in the Shamanic religion as he was brought up that way. I understand the importance of a Godparent and as to what it means to be a Godparent to a child. It started when my sister first came out and she had the idea that she was automatically going to be my child’s Godparent because I am her daughters. At the time I qualified as a Godparent, have always practiced my faith, was not fornicating at the time etc. So, I was eligible and understand my responsibility to my Goddaughter. As to her, she does not practice her faith and is fornicating as she lives with her fiance and my sister does not attend mass regularly and has her own opinions on the Catholic faith that are sometimes different than what we are taught. I am more strict and try my best to be a good Catholic as we all fall short sometimes; I understand. So, I explained to her that I do not want her to be my child’s Godparent in the nicest way possible but she has went to the extent to being petty and telling everyone that I am not having her as a Godparent and now my extended family is making remarks to my face on how rude I am and how horrible I am just because I will not pick my sister as a Godparent as they are not even practicing Catholics but only go to church when they have to Baptize their child and never again. They are used to picking their friends or ofc siblings who don’t even go to church or anything. I am staying strong and sticking to my opinion but what do I do as I feel I am constantly being targeted just because I won’t pick my sister as a Godparent. I don’t know how to deal with the constant criticism and wanting the best spiritual guidance for my child. As well, my sister asked me to be her son’s Godparent when he is born (we are one month apart pregnant) but I told her respectively I can’t as I am not in the position to be one at this time. I feel since I am not in the position to be that there is someone better, more qualified at this time because God always provides someone. I just really do not like the idea of being looked at as this horrible person by my family as I am always used to getting along with everyone so its causing me to become overwhelmed.

 

[Lea101]

It blows my mind that people get offended over not being godparents. Idk about you but I hardly talk to mine!

Stick to your beliefs. The fact that she’s going around and acting like a child shows that you’ve made the right decision. Just reiterate that want a practicing Catholic and that there’s no point in choosing someone who’s more or less against Church teaching.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

1. You did the right thing; stick to your beliefs and if you have to put up with some criticism from your family then so be it.
2. I also agree with your own decision not to be the godparent to your sister’s child.
3. You might want to consider not fornicating. It’s honestly a little odd to have you say that you are so concerned about your child being raised as a strong Catholic, while you yourself are continuing to commit serious sin. If whoever you are fornicating with won’t marry you or isn’t in a position to marry you ,then you should not continue with the sexual relationship.

 

[Allegra]

I was in a similar situation as my sister wanted to be Godmother, but she isn’t a practicing Catholic or even Christian. It turned out that she believed that the position of Godparent indicated the person who was selected to raise the children if something happened to both parents. I have no idea where she got this notion, but once I explained the role of a Godparent she realized that it wasn’t for her. It might help to point out that “favorite auntie” is also a really important role in a child’s life.

 

[TheLittleLady]

This is when you can make the Canon Law the bad guy. You did not make this rule, the Church did.

There is no reason your sister cannot be an honorary Godmother and someone else be her Baptismal Sponsor (that is the official term anyway).

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

Just ignore them and wait for things to calm down. I’m sorry that you are in such a situation.

 

[angell1]

I believe, at some point in history, the two things were more or less synonymous, just by fact of circumstance.

not quite so anymore

 

[Dan_Defender]

You made the right decision, any family animosity is your cross to bear. Offer your suffering to God.
‘In the cross is salvation, in the cross is life, in the cross is protection from enemies, in the cross is infusion of heavenly sweetness, in the cross is strength of mind, in the cross is joy of spirit, in the cross is highest virtue, in the cross is perfect holiness.’ - The Imitation of Christ

 

[Phemie]

This is when you can make the Canon Law the bad guy. You did not make this rule, the Church did.

There is no reason your sister cannot be an honorary Godmother and someone else be her Baptismal Sponsor (that is the official term anyway).

I agree fully with this one. Just show her what Canon Law has to say about who can be a godparent. Explain that you can’t give her the honour because the Church says she can’t be the godmother. But make sure to tell her that she has a special place as auntie and that’s a role no one can take away from her.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.