There is a huge difference between the attraction and the sin. Being homosexual is not a sin. Struggling with one’s sexual identity is not a matter for religious discussion. People must come to terms with who they are deep inside, even if that means accepting that, at this time in their life, they have an attraction towards the same sex.
I used to struggle with heterosexuality quite a bit. I daresay most do at some point. It may be as simple as turning the head and take a good look at that lady walking by, or it could be looking for those videos online, or it could be going for one-nighters or other unstable relationships involving sexual intercourse. I discovered that I could have very healthy relationships with women that did not involve sex and were not sinful.
Being attracted to other women is not something God will take away because it is not, per se, sinful. It is no sickness, that is a fact. Even if some backward-oriented individuals still think about it that way, the Church has never declared it so.
When I first experienced attraction towards another man, around the time I was a college freshman, I was shocked. I thought I was a “straight guy”. Not the “macho” type, but definitely “straight”. Even cracked the occasional rude joke against homosexuals. I realized in time how that attraction was just a natural reaction of my body and mind to certain elements, and that even my soul was involved to some degree. We have forgotten the deep, intimate meaning of spiritual brotherhood and spiritual sisterhood. The bonds that can be established in such deep friendships are very strong and very holy.
What would someone think if they were having lunch at a restaurant and they saw a man lean on the chest of another man, close his eyes, smile, and just relax there, while the other man places a hand on his hair and says: “I love you too.” Reactions would vary, and certainly many would think that there is a homosexual relationship in place. Some will immediately assume that those two are a couple, that they are having some impure sexual relationship. Dirty thoughts will come lurking from the darkness. A label will slowly arise out of the smoke: sinners! They are sinners. And what if they are known Catholics? The scandal! Yet this is exactly what we see at the Last Supper, when the apostle John “whom Jesus loved” leans on His chest. Many wonderful spiritual treatises have been written on this moment of deep love between our Lord Jesus Christ and John the Beloved Disciple.
Gender theory is very dangerous and I would stay away from it at all cost. But it is a fact that there is a fluidity in our attractions. If you try to “overcome” your homosexuality, you will be in a constant state of tension, much like a heterosexual man who, say, is a priest and as such celibate and tries to “overcome” his attraction to women. Not going to happen! Not the way God designed us. What we need to overcome is the temptation to sin. Establish healthy relationships with men and women, live a good, sacramental life, be involved in the life of the Church and in our daily secular life, and place the future in God’s hands.
