My wife isn’t Catholic

[Benji18]

I was born/raised Catholic and my faith is everything to me. I have been married for 2 years and love my wife dearly. She makes me a better person and I would do anything for her.

My wife is a Christian but has serious hesitations about the Catholic Church and has never been baptized. Our first child is due soon and it is extremely important to me, that our child is raised through the church like I was.

I have no idea how to speak to my wife about this and am unsure how open she will be. Has anybody gone through this before?? Please help.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Hello, welcome to CAF.

While it’s nice that you love your wife, if she is not Catholic then you should have had the discussion with her about raising your child Catholic BEFORE you married her, not now when the child is about to be born. I was married to a Protestant for 20+ years and we had discussed all that stuff and worked it out long before we ever got engaged, much less married. In any event, you need to stop delaying the discussion, sit down with your wife and have a frank talk about this and how important it is to you.

As for “no idea how to speak to my wife about this”, you simply tell her kindly but directly that it is important to you that your children be raised Catholic and therefore you would like to baptize your child into the Church. As you don’t have any idea how she will react, who knows, she may be willing to go along with it to make you happy. If she has specific concerns you can then discuss whatever her concerns are one by one.

 

[TK421]

A Catholic is obliged to have their children baptized in the Catholic Church and raised Catholic, so this discussion really should have happened a long time ago, especially if your wife has her own convictions and her conscience compels her to raise children within her own faith tradition.

It would be wise to bring a priest and marriage counselor into the discussion if it blows up. Be kind but honest.

Peace.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

Did you get married (or at least prepare for marriage) in the Catholic Church? This should have been discussed with her at that time; even if you didn’t, the priest would have mentioned it.

My non-Catholic (at that time) bride-to-be was told by the priest that I was under obligation to have our children raised in the faith. She knew going in, and when the time came, the only discussion on our part was details of timing and other such specifics. It was in our first child’s baptism prep that my wife decided to look into RCIA for herself.

 

[1ke]

I have no idea how to speak to my wife about this and am unsure how open she will be. Has anybody gone through this before?? Please help.

Well, I will say this is something you should have discussed before you got married.

I suggest you make an appointment with your pastor to discuss the situation and ask for his advice, and find out it there is a parent baptism class you and your wife can attend— make it clear to your wife it is for her to learn and NO PRESSURE on her.

It takes one parent’s consent to baptize the child. Your wife would not have to make promises, unless she wants to.

I was born/raised Catholic and my faith is everything to me. I have been married for 2 years and love my wife dearly.

Did you marry in the Catholic Church or obtain a dispensation from form to marry validly? If not, speak to the pastor about convalidation also.

 

[Elf01]

Did you marry in the Catholic Church or obtain a dispensation from form to marry validly? If not, speak to the pastor about convalidation also.

I would be more concerned about disparity of cult. Since his wife is not baptized she is non Christian from the perspective of canon law. I expect it was dealt with if they married in the Church, but not everybody knows what you may expect them to.

 

[PatK63]

Let’s deal with things as they are. You and your wife have to mutually decide how your child will be raised. First I would suggest you understand what her views are from discipline to religion and everything in between. You two are married and have to come to decisions you are both comfortable with. Don’t try to make her do anything! It may take a lot of time. After you understand where she is coming from you need to tell her certain areas need more discussion. Private message me and we can discuss examples. Don’t worry about winning battles. Your goal is to win the war! Remember she is your wife for the rest of your life.

 

[gama232]

A friend’s wife was not Catholic for many years but did convert. Just pray for your wife.