1.) As long as you oppose artificial birth control & you’ve let her know you oppose it (ABC here), Bob is right. You may have maritial relations with your wife.
2.) DP seems pretty drastic. Is it because she’s tried other ABC, such as the Pill, in the past but it didn’t work or she couldn’t remember the schedule to take every day? I’m thinking, even though it is equally evil, they now make the Pill in a format that avoids periods, no injections needed.
3.) As somebody else said, your wife is not bound by Catholic law. She’s a Baptist!
I am going to make a suggestion: **Please don’t let this become a wedge in your marriage, especially right now. You have WEEKS to go before your reception into the Church. Satan would like nothing more than to derail that. **
Your wife is probably a little uncomfortable with your conversion, even if she says everything is “fine”. Without knowing how rooted she is in the Baptist tradition, without knowing how rooted her family is (or yours for that matter), I can’t be sure.
Also, I used to have some horrible menstruations back in my day: long-lasting, messy, bloated, backache. They made menopause look wonderful! While I would not use DP (refused it in fact, when it first came out), I can understand why a woman would not want her monthlies, esp. when the “monthlies” come every other week or worse. You are a man, and you’ve never had this happen to you.
You’ve made your point on ABC, esp. DP. It’s time to back off. If you’ve yelled at her or screamed at her about it, apologize for the yelling and screaming, but make it clear you still oppose ABC- but be nice about it, and that you will do what you can to assist her in learning more about the various NFP methods. Somebody suggested the “wellness” standpoint. It’s a good one. Do your homework and try that.
Then back off on the matter- for now.
Instead, let her know you
treasure her, and through her, any little ones you might have. Yes, showing her is important, in little ways. Observe the courtesies! Hold her door, her chair; let her go first when appropriate, and fight crowds for her by going first. Tell her you treasure her, too, for this or that. Telling is important to women. Our ears are what turn us on, in many ways. If you have kids, take them off her hands for an hour or two. Volunteer to supervise baths, or hear prayers, or even cook simple suppers. They are your kids, too. And you are going to have to develop this into a
habit. Her use of ABC is not going to go magically away.
And while you are letting her know how much you treasure her, pray privately. Ask the intercession of Our Lady of Guadalupe, who is patroness of the unborn. Ask the intercession of St. Paula and Toxotius, of course Our Lady and St. Joseph, St. Anne and St. Jocachim (Our Lord’s grandparents), St. Elizabeth Seton, and a host of other saints who were married. I recommend St. Elizabeth Seton, as she was a convert, and took a good deal of abuse from her family when they found out she converted. She knows what it’s like! If you have the time, go before the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. If you don’t, find a site where Our Lord is in the Blessed Sacrament, and make an online “visit”.
stmarynativity.com BUT DON’T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, AND DON’T TELL YOUR WIFE ABOUT IT!!!
And I will be praying for you. I don’t say that lightly.
