My wife's single friend wants to have a baby

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It would be SO much better for this woman to adopt. If she wants a child and not just the experience of being pregnant. If she truly has time to devote to a child, perhaps she might also consider foster care. Even if she just did respite care for another family that would be SUCH a blessing for them!

Perhaps you can suggest these other alternatives to your wife or the friend.
👍
 
For a moment, I thought this thread was about my sister…

She had a failed marriage and got this idea that if she only had a baby, her life would be perfect. Well, she did get pregnant (by some fellow who has about four or five other children by two or three other women) and had the baby, a beautiful little girl who’s now almost six. My sister got the child’s father to sign away his parental rights as soon as possible and now goes around flaunting herself as a single mother who’s doing a great job on her own!

The child is nothing less than a trophy and guess who’s had a big hand in raising her? Our mom and dad who were 76 and 82 at the time of my niece’s birth. My sister moved in with my parents (ostensibly to be there if there was an emergency) but she gets free babysitting while she’s at work and when she decides to go out with her friends. My parents take my niece to school, my mom takes care of the laundry and the cooking, my parents are the ones who cough up the dough when emergencies come up.

And what’s the most galling of all is that, according to my sister, the baby was a direct result of a novena my sister made to St. Jude! She said she prayed to St. Jude that she would have a baby and lo and behold, she did! Never mind that she had to commit a mortal sin in order to cooperate with St. Jude (and I don’t think St. Jude is too flattered by all the credit she gives him) never mind that her child has NO idea who her father is, never mind that 10 years down the road it’s quite possible (if not probable) that my niece might meet a boy she’d like to date and HE TURNS OUT TO BE HER BROTHER, COUSIN, UNCLE, ETC.!

If I sound bitter, I apologize. Those of you who know my story know that my husband and I have struggled with infertility for 19 years. Thank God we have a wonderful son we received through adoption (and a tip of the hat to St. Anthony for his help with that!), but it really sticks in my craw that the patron saint of impossible cases should be credited with helping my unmarried sister get pregnant! 🤷 sigh

I suppose by now I should be used to offering it up, but it always seems like the ones who WANT to get pregnant, don’t, and the ones that DON’T want to or SHOULDN’T, always do.

Pray for me to learn to bear my cross more patiently, would you all? And pray for those children whose mothers are thinking of themselves rather than their children (especially my sister!)
 
I think there’s a difference between saying, I want to have a baby," and saying, “I want to raise a child.” —KCT
 
Pray for me to learn to bear my cross more patiently, would you all? And pray for those children whose mothers are thinking of themselves rather than their children (especially my sister!)
I hear you. I used to volunteer at a Catholic, crisis pregnancy center. I could never figure out why God would allow these teen age girls to get pregnant, and have abortions, but he wouldn’t give us another child. I hope to ask Him one day. —KCT
 
I think for someone outside of the faith the best one can do is ask that person to consider their actions carefully from an ethical perspective; in short, to ask them to do a careful examination of their moral conscience about what they are doing or about to do. We can hope then they will listen to the natural law in their hearts and with the grace of God they will not do something which is morally wrong.
 
I told my wife I thought that was wrong – she accused me of being judgmental (she feels sorry for this friend of hers as this woman is a nice girl but very lonely and can’t find a man.)
  1. It is wrong is it not? (I think she plans to do Artificial Insem, but not sure – in any case there will be no real father.
  2. Is pointing out that something is wrong being “judgmental” (I barely said any words but she could tell what I thought so I said it – I didn’t say the woman was going to Hell because of it)
Sigh…I tire of being accused of being judgmental just because I voice my opinion on what is right and wrong in some very rare and extreme cases.

Anyone disagree?
The bottom line is that a child will do better in a home with a married mother and father. She can ignore this fact now, but she won’t be able to ignore it in ten or fifteen years.
 
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