My wife's unhappy that I want to convert. What do I do?

[RonRule]

I have been studying Catholicism for the last year and really want to start RCIA this fall, but my wife is hostile to the idea. I’m a second generation non-denominational “Bible fellowship” Christian and my wife is a Calvinist Baptist. I’ve tried to answer her objections, but she really hasn’t given me that many because she doesn’t even like to talk about it, and gets angry whenever the subject is broached. Should I start RCIA without her? Or should I just give it more time?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Just to be clear, entering RCIA does not mean that you absolutely must join the Church. If, during the course of RCIA, you find that you cannot in conscience enter the Church at the Easter Vigil, you are more than welcome to put it off until you feel that you can join in good conscience. Perhaps knowing that RCIA is not the Catholic equivalent of boot camp may help your wife to accept more readily the idea of you attending the classes.

Even so, if you have reason to believe that you are called to become Catholic, then you must follow your conscience. Presumably, your wife is unhappy about your decision because she wants you to remain Christian. My suggestion is to emphasize to her that the reason you want to become Catholic is so that you can continue to be the best Christian God’s grace enables you to be. You want to become Catholic because you believe that by doing so you can follow Christ ever more faithfully, not because you in any way want to cease following Christ.

Rather than focus on side issues, such as the differences between Catholics and Calvinist Baptists, I recommend that you focus on what should be most important to both of you: Following Christ. Even if your wife cannot agree with you on the best way to follow Christ faithfully, hopefully she will support your determination to follow Christ wherever you believe he is calling you. God bless.

Recommended reading:

A Marriage Saved in Heaven by Robin Maas
The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur by Elisabeth Leseur
When Only One Converts edited by Lynn Nordhagen
Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn