L
Lady_Love
Guest
There I stood, every one knowing what I had done, everyone laughing, everyone looking down their noses in disgust. I was ashamed and exposed, naked before the crowd. “This whore deserves to die!” they yelled.
Standing between me and the crowd was a sober, serious, and masculine man. He was known to be well respected. A man who’s presence commanded attention. He was known to see the truth in every situation. I was frightened at the humiliation and judgement about to press down on me.
The man wouldn’t even look at me rather he scanned the crowd that was now feeding off each other’s disgust and condemnation. The crowd got louder and louder, “This woman should be punished!”
All eyes were now on the man anticipating what he might say. He bent down and started writing words in the dirt. The crowd grew silent in it’s curiosity to see what he was writing. He looked directly into the eyes of each person and then said, with an authority I never heard, “Let the one of you who is without sin inflict the punishment.”
One by one, the men lowered their heads and walked away, starting with the oldest. Every one was gone.
I was alone with the man, who was still bent down. He turned to look me in the eyes. His eyes were dark and intense. He had a gaze that seemed to see all the secrets I had in my heart. He saw how I hated myself, he saw how I hurt others, he saw those hurts those shameful things I would never tell anyone about. I wanted so badly to look away and hide but He would not let me. He reached out his hand and held up my chin so I could not look away. He spoke, “Has anyone condemned you?”
His voice vibrated my chest, it was deep, kind and firm.
I looked around and saw no one but him. “No. No one.” I said.
“Neither will I condemn you.” he said. I could not believe what I was hearing. My eyes were welling up with tears. For the first time in my life I felt safe. For the first time in my life, I actually felt what I assume to be love. The muscles in my neck softened, I let go of the breath that I was holding, and just like that, the tears of all the pain in my life came pouring out, I sobbed and sobbed. My chest convulsed, my face wrenched, and I let go. His arm gently reached for me and he pulled my head in to rest on his chest. His hands stroked my hair, and I even felt tears from his eyes falling on my head. We cried together. He did not say anything but I felt his heart bleeding for me, I felt his protection and care.
When I was done crying, he lifted up my face to look him in the eyes again. He just stared at me for a long moment. He broke the intensity of the silence and said one last thing. “Go your way but do not sin anymore.”
His words rang in my heart like a liberty bell. I knew that I could not live the same way that I have been living, nor do I even want to. I just got a glimpse of something new, something beautiful. I got a glimpse of a world where I am beautiful and I am valued, a world that I want to share with others, a world I didn’t know existed. Yes, the liberty bell did ring in my heart and I am free of the old self. And for the first time in my life, I am excited to be alive.
Standing between me and the crowd was a sober, serious, and masculine man. He was known to be well respected. A man who’s presence commanded attention. He was known to see the truth in every situation. I was frightened at the humiliation and judgement about to press down on me.
The man wouldn’t even look at me rather he scanned the crowd that was now feeding off each other’s disgust and condemnation. The crowd got louder and louder, “This woman should be punished!”
All eyes were now on the man anticipating what he might say. He bent down and started writing words in the dirt. The crowd grew silent in it’s curiosity to see what he was writing. He looked directly into the eyes of each person and then said, with an authority I never heard, “Let the one of you who is without sin inflict the punishment.”
One by one, the men lowered their heads and walked away, starting with the oldest. Every one was gone.
I was alone with the man, who was still bent down. He turned to look me in the eyes. His eyes were dark and intense. He had a gaze that seemed to see all the secrets I had in my heart. He saw how I hated myself, he saw how I hurt others, he saw those hurts those shameful things I would never tell anyone about. I wanted so badly to look away and hide but He would not let me. He reached out his hand and held up my chin so I could not look away. He spoke, “Has anyone condemned you?”
His voice vibrated my chest, it was deep, kind and firm.
I looked around and saw no one but him. “No. No one.” I said.
“Neither will I condemn you.” he said. I could not believe what I was hearing. My eyes were welling up with tears. For the first time in my life I felt safe. For the first time in my life, I actually felt what I assume to be love. The muscles in my neck softened, I let go of the breath that I was holding, and just like that, the tears of all the pain in my life came pouring out, I sobbed and sobbed. My chest convulsed, my face wrenched, and I let go. His arm gently reached for me and he pulled my head in to rest on his chest. His hands stroked my hair, and I even felt tears from his eyes falling on my head. We cried together. He did not say anything but I felt his heart bleeding for me, I felt his protection and care.
When I was done crying, he lifted up my face to look him in the eyes again. He just stared at me for a long moment. He broke the intensity of the silence and said one last thing. “Go your way but do not sin anymore.”
His words rang in my heart like a liberty bell. I knew that I could not live the same way that I have been living, nor do I even want to. I just got a glimpse of something new, something beautiful. I got a glimpse of a world where I am beautiful and I am valued, a world that I want to share with others, a world I didn’t know existed. Yes, the liberty bell did ring in my heart and I am free of the old self. And for the first time in my life, I am excited to be alive.
